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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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By: The Wizard
Grenadiers vs. Wildcats It will be the “Posers” versus the “Hosers” on Sunday when Chris Hand and the Grenadiers take on the “Western Hills Mildcats” at Snitz Snyder Stadium in Bessemer. The Grenadiers were unceremoniously dumped from the winner’s bracket last week after a paltry ten point effort that even Chris’ alter ego, the Schedule Maker, couldn’t overcome proving, as only the Great Wizardo predicted, that the Grenadiers were more “pretender” than “contender” when push came to shove. Not be outdone, the Wildcats just said no when it came to racking up points in Round One of the championship series, and found themselves dropped to the loser’s bracket despite a line up with championship timbre. Alas, no title is in the cards for either team, but at least the Wildcats can take out some of their frustration by giving the Grenadiers a beat down on Sunday afternoon. Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.
Mayors vs. Wooden Warriors Jaimie Hand the “HollyWoodSkins” have reeled off an improbable eight straight win that has propelled them from the bottom of the league to the semi-finals of the BDFL championship bracket. Only someone with the preternatural “prognosticatorial” skills of the Wizard could have predicted such a stunning reversal of fortune for the Wooden Warriors, which of course the Wizard did. After an impressive win last Sunday, the Wooden Warriors go back to the reservation for some good home cookin’ when they welcome Alan Arrington and the “Gubmament Grinches” come a callin’. The Mayors are eyeing a second title while the Warriors are still hunting for that elusive first title. In what amounts to a “Thunder Dome” match where two men enter and only one leaves, it will be the Warriors setting a date with destiny in the Big Daddy Bowl next week. Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.
Fightin' Slovaks vs. Armadillos Despite seeing many of their big guns go silent at the most inopportune of times in the first round of the championship series, Kurt Prewitt and the “Armed Dildos” still found a way to cobble more than enough points together to cruise into the second round against Adam Slovensky and the “East EuroPeons”, who scored early and often in a first round trouncing of the Sleds. This despite a more than respectable effort by Jack and the gang. Nevertheless, less sizzle and more steak will be the order of the day if the Slovaks expect to continue their untainted trek to the title. The Wizard has always said that, similar to Fultondale, it is always easier to take the boy out of Slovakia than to take the Slovak out of the boy, a particularly brilliant pearl of wisdom from the Wizard that Adam best heed if he intends to dance for all the marbles in Week 17. Nevertheless, while the Slovaks could be dancing next week, they will not cover the 2.5 points laid down by a quickly fading, and increasingly desperate, ELVO. Wizard’s Winner…Armadillos.
Juggernauts vs. PowerSleds Offending the Schedule Maker is never a wise move if one expects to have any legitimate chance to hoist BDFL gold (or Galen McSpadden’s silver helmet in this case) at the end of the season, one of the Wizard’s undeniable truths that would have the Sleds and Juggernauts nodding sadly in agreement after both teams posted impressive first round outings yet were still rudely kicked out of the championship hunt. The Sleds popped out points in their quarterfinal match at almost the same rate as Jack and his Ol’ Lady have been spitting out young ‘uns yet were shocked to see their 41 point total only lead to a double digit defeat, and a heapin’ helpin’ of trash talking from Adam, at the hands of the Slovaks. Similarly, the “Nots” notched an impressive 31 points, but still dropped a heartbreaker in overtime. Unfortunately and as the Wizard always says. “Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades unless you’re playin’ at the Slovensky’s annual 4th of July bash in Brookside where the only thing that outdoes the good eatin’ is the unprecedented level of chicanery during the horseshoes battle.” Regardless, the Nauts will only have another knot on their collective heads to show for their trouble on Sunday. Winners…the PowerSleds.
Sloth Monsters vs. Cheetahs Mike Dismukes and his “Groovy Ghoulies” managed to barely nip the Dogs in an uninspiring first round Big Mullet Series match-up only a mother could love although the Great Wizardo suggested it was a game only mother could “sorta’ like” at best. Nevertheless, the Sloth Monsters can salvage some pride in this week by advancing to the finals of the BMS with a win over Butch Neal’s “Pole Humpin’ Hoochie Mamas” on Sunday afternoon. The Cheetahs are still steaming after taking home the Graybeard Division title yet finding themselves locked out at the mutual window of the BDFL championship series by violating the “Bullet Rule.” Regardless, the Sloths appear overmatched on paper, something the Cheetahs will be sure to enforce when they go at it for real. Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.
Blitz vs. Woosiers The Wizard has time and again opined (Wizard’s Note: Only legendary prognosticators are allowed to “opine.”) that if you plan on going ugly, go ugly early in order to get the best of the uglies, and was proud to see Tommy Todd and the “Smoke Rise Super Freaks” did just that in edging the woeful Wizards in round one of the Mullet Mash. However, the Woosiers will have to kick it up a couple of notches when they take turns tossin’ mullets with Jerry Fritz and the “Big Pharma Elephants” this weekend. The Woosiers are supposedly built for late season surges, but thus far the Great Wizardo has seen little more than smoke ‘n mirrors coming out of West Blount so far, and there’s not even much of that. Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz.
Gamblers vs. Dogs The Sloth Monsters and Mark Burr’s “Coalburg Canines” mailed their collective performances in so much in their first round mullet match-up the U.S Post Office may have actually turned a profit had they been totin’ the mail last Sunday in Silver Lakes. Unfortunately for the Dogs, putting a postage stamp on another outing like that may only get them an “A.W.” for their trouble when the “Delta Devils” roll into town. The Gamblers had big aspirations at the beginning of the year to bring home their third BDFL title but quickly sank into the Wooly Swamp once the season commenced, and never did find their way out despite a line up that could have caused more than its share of trouble. Fortunately for the Gamblers, they can fold the Dogs like a cheap tent with little more than a pair of deuces. How the Dogs were made the favorite, albeit a small one, is beyond even the “prognosticatorial” skills of the Wizardo himself, but the Wizard will be glad to reap the rewards of ELVO’s gross miscalculation. Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.
Wizards vs. Bullets It’s only fair the teams that delivered the two most putrid performances of the week should meet on Sunday. Little more than pride is on the line when this bumbling duo meets on Sunday although it would be hard to imagine either team had any left after the stinking pile they both left behind in Week 15. The Wizards have been taken to the pain cave so many times by so many teams; they were finally forced to begin paying rent while the Bullets simply came apart at the seams despite a lofty record and a somewhat respectable point total still left them empty handed when it was time for the Big Dance to begin. However, in something of an upset, the “Pasco Pirates” will rise up and at least cover the 2.5 point spread, if not even win outright. Wizard’s Winner...the Wizards. |
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The Scorecard
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Week 16 2012
FS @ ARM (-2.5) |
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Wizardz Winnerz - Week
16
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