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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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By: The Wizard
Gamblers vs. Wizards If the Wizards and Gamblers were dogs, both would be scurrying across the floor with their tails tucked after Week Four beat downs by their opponents. Fortunately, one of them will get their season at least partly righted when they face each other on Sunday in Tampa Town. The Wizard’s “old lady” coyly asked him the other day if his life insurance was paid up to date. The Great Wizardo, trying to impress said “old lady” assured her all payments were current. However, after walking around with his chest puffed out, it dawned on the Wizard that his “old lady” may have finally had enough and was planning to put a hit on him. Short of hiring a food taster and a Kevlar vest, the Wizard may be living on borrowed time, and much the same can be said for a season already on the brink after three losses in four outings. Sunday may be the fourth loss for the “Pasco Pixies”, but the Great Wizardo says the Wizards will rise off the deck, if only for a week, beat the Gamblers, and, miraculously, cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Wizard.
Wooden Warriors vs. PowerSleds A funny thing happened during the first four weeks of the season, perennial contender/bridesmaid Jaimie Hand and his “Black Crick Spear Chuckers” rolled their collective helmets on to the field expecting the competition to cower in fear at even the mere sight of the mighty Wooden Warriors as they rested on their laurels. Unfortunately for Jaimie, the rest of the BDFL didn’t seem nearly as impressed, something the Warriors oh-for-September indicated. The Wooden Warriors haven’t been on the run like this since the Baldies and every other NY gang was hunting them down after being wrongly accused of gunning down Cyrus. Even worse, October is not likely to get off to a better start when they hit the road to take on “Mad” Jack Barnes and the “Slumber Jacks”, who finally awoke from their season long slump to administer an “A.W.” to the Wizards, and should be able to keep things rolling this weekend while also covering. Wizard’s Winner…the PowerSleds.
Fighting Slovaks vs. Armadillos After watching Adam Slovensky and his “Fighting FUBAR’s” storm out of the gate with three wins, no defeats, two “A.W.’s” and a double digit win, the Great Wizardo took that as a sure sign to begin looking up at the heavens with every expectation of seeing the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse galloping across the sky because surely this was a sign the end times were upon us. However, the earth hooped back up on its axis, began spinning the right direction again, and life returned to some sense of normalcy after the Slovaks lost their first game of the season and took a beating in the process. Unfortunately for the Slovaks, they have to take their act on the road to face Kurt Prewitt and his “Texas Twisters”, who have cut an impressive swath across the BDFL so far this season. That being said, bye weeks are likely to reduce Kurt’s team to little more than “dirt devils” on Sunday, therby opening the door for another week an endless prattle from Adam. Wizard’s Winners…the Fighting Slovaks.
Cheetahs vs. Sloth Monsters Butch Neal and his “Table Dancin’ Divas” are at a crossroads in their season already with a middling 94 points although they do sport a .500 to keep them above the “Bullet Line” heading into their fifth game against Mike Dismukes and the “Kooky Spookies” who have an identical point total as the Cheetahs although only one “dubya” to their credit through four weeks of action. Butch and the rest of the Greybeards started pounding their collective chests after a big Week Four by the division as a whole. Still gray hair, at least of the hair left, and being a little long in the tooth may not keep the Cheetahs from winning, but it will prevent them from covering. Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.
Juggernauts vs. Wildcats When the Great Wizardo was a highly impressionable apprentice in his formative years growing up in Gardendale, a youth that was admittedly ill spent, his mother would occasionally treat the Wizard and his sister by allowing them to buy a 45 record of their choice at Elmore’s, a drug store in the only, at the time, strip mall in Gardendale. After giving it careful consideration, the Wizard’s sister made her selection, but immediately began to badger the young Wizard about which record he planned to buy since he had yet to make decision. Sensing the young Wizard faltering under her relentless attack, she moved in for the kill and convinced to buy “Silly Love Songs” by Paul McCartney. Once they arrived at home the two immediately put “Silly Love Songs” on the record player. However, after a few seconds the Wizard’s sister realized it wasn’t the song she thought it was, told the Wizard as much, and promptly lost all interest in the record thereby causing the Wizard to waste his selection. The fact that “Silly Love Songs” became a classic that is still played on oldies stations today is beside the point. Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.
Grenades vs. Mayors After spending much of the week patting themselves on the back due to their perfect starts to the season, it would not surprise the Wizard if Chris Hand and the “Tuscaloosa County Mounties” and Alan Arrington’s “Bumbling Bureaucrats” needed shoulder surgery in the near future from the effort. Unfortunately, only one BDFL team will remain unbeaten after the Grenadiers and Mayors square off in the Week Five marquis match up of the week. The Mayors are second in the points after consistently piling up one impressive outing after another while the Grenadiers have leaned on the Schedule Maker as much as anything to keep their record spotless. Both have legendary fantasy league quarterbacks (Wizard’s Note: Not be to be confused with the “Legend” Randall Cunningham) calling the shots plus each sports a strong receiving corps as well leaving it to the brilliance that is the Wizard to determine the outcome. By Week Five teams begin rotating through their bye weeks forcing would be prognosticators like ELVO to account for considerably more moving parts. In short, this is where they separate the men from the boys. ELVO made the Mayors a 2.5 point favorite, but the Wizard says that is a little too rich and that the Grenadiers will cover, and perhaps pull the mild upset. Wizard’s Winner…the Grenadiers.
Woosiers vs. Blitz Jerry Fritz’s “T-town Thundering Herd” is off to a strong start to the 2012 season after an impressive draft put them in position to contend for their first BDFL title. Meanwhile, Tommy Todd and the “Smoke Rise Mat Meisters” are very much in the hunt with .500 record in addition to a relatively strong points total heading into Week Five. Still, the Great Wizardo says the Woosiers, who claim to always be built for late season surges, are more smoke ‘n mirrors than anything else leaving them to rely on the most unpredictable of fantasy league starters, the defense, to bail them out most weeks. In short, the Wizard predicts the smoke rising from the Woosiers will be the carnage of what was their 2012 season, and to expect the Jerry’s “Herd” to begin the Woosier’s decline by trampling them on Sunday. Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz.
Bullets vs. Dogs The Great Wizardo says “blood is thicker than water” and points to Bullet’s three-win-out-of-four-games start as a case in point by claiming, correctly of course, that a big shove from the Schedule Maker may be the “Benton Hillbillies” best player so far in 2012. As Exhibit “A”, the Wizard points to the Bullets’ anemic 14 point performance last Sunday. While such a performance would almost always guarantee a loss and a possible “A.W.”, the Bullets won relatively easily. Meanwhile, the “Brookside Boners & Stoners Patrol” have been better in terms of points yet have one more loss to show for their troubles. Both teams need to pick up the pace a bit if they expect to go dancing at the end of the year and there’s no time like the present. Unfortunately for Bullet, even with the Schedule Maker running interference, it won’t be enough to cover a modest spread, or even win outright for that matter. Wizard’s winner…the Dogs. |
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The Scorecard
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Week 5 2012
GAM @ WIZ (-3.5) |
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Wizardz Winnerz - Week
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