|
TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
|
By: The Wizard
Cheetahs vs. Woosiers Playing to a tie has been likened to kissing your sister, and the Great Wizardo says that playing for the Big Mullet Series championship may only be a rung or two higher although it does give the winner braggin’ rights, even if only amongst the other seven losers in Gulf Shores. Regardless, Tommy Todd’s “West Blount Woozies” will take on Butch Neal’s “Chi-chi-chia-tah Pets” on Sunday for all the marbles. Make that all the mullets. The Woosiers are more “paper tigers” than anything else while the Cheetahs are the real deal although a beef with the Schedule Maker (Wizard’s Note: Rule #2, NEVER anger the Schedule Maker!) doomed an otherwise title contending season that eventually banished them to tossin’ mullets during the holidays. Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.
Gamblers vs. Wizards The Great Wizardo was diggin’ on the radio the other day and ended up listening to Foghat’s Slow Ride. When the song entered its second hour of one endless chorus after another, the Wizard decided the members of Foghat must have known they had chart topper in Slow Ride, and that it would likely be the closest they ever came to sniffing true stardom. After that revelation, members of the band must have decided to ride the wave as long as possible by making the song long enough to fill an entire concert. And the Wizard thinks they succeeded. The Great One also concluded the only thing more endless than Slow Ride was the Wizard’s season although fortunately it will reach its merciful conclusion on Sunday. Merlin thought his bunch had hit the franchise’s rock bottom in Week 16, but that milestone will not be officially reached until Sunday night. Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.
Blitz vs. Sloth Monsters The “Silver Lakes Limb Loungers” wrap up their season against Jerry Fritz and the “Tuscaloosa Thundering Herd” on Sunday although a dreadful won-loss record has the latter looking more the like “Bumbling Turds” than anything else. Meanwhile, the Sloths were in the championship play off hunt until the eleventh hour when the clock struck midnight and they found themselves unceremoniously shipped off to the Big Mullet Series instead. Nevertheless, the Sloth Monsters are more than respectable, and certainly too respectable to be caught tossin’ dead fish into the Gulf of Mexico, and will prove it on Sunday. Wizard’s Winner…Sloth Monsters.
Bullets vs. Dogs Playing for the rights to a dirty sock is hardly worth getting out of bed to do yet that’s exactly what the “Black Belt Bureaucrats” and the “Brookside Tirebiters” will do this weekend when they conlude their respective seasons. The Bullets have proven to simply be a bad team albeit one that has managed an impressive ten “dubyas” due primarily to a little home cookin’ from Bullet’s big brother, the Schedule Maker. Still, just like a swinging bunt single looks like a line drive in the next day’s box score, so does a vict’ry in the rough ‘n tumble BDFL. Meanwhile, the Dogs have been Luke warm all season, and the Great Wizardo sees nothing on the horizon that will heat them up to a boil before Sunday evening. Fortunately for Mark, ice cold water should more than enough to melt the Bullets. Wizard's Winners…the Dogs.
Mayors vs. Fighting Slovaks The proverbial “Mouth of the South” was muzzled last weekend, even if only slightly, when Adam Slovensky and the Fighting Slovaks championship dreams finally went down to defeat in a particularly tepid display of firepower. That merely a pathetic effort would have easily been enough to propel them to the finals will be something for the Slovaks to mull over during the long, cold winter months ahead. Meanwhile, Alan Arrington learned it’s not nice to tweak the Great Wizardo (Wizard’s Note: Rule #1, NEVER anger the Wizard!) with a championship at stake, and that the Wizard proved that to be a time-tested truism by sending the Mayors down to defeat in the semi-finals. After learning that lesson, and having the scars to prove it, the “Magic City Monarchs” must pick themselves up off the floor to salvage their season this weekend against the Slovaks. Unfortunately for Alan, they will find themselves forced to flee their throne for the second straight week with the Slovaks in close pursuit, mouth wide open yammering away no doubt. Wizard’s Winner…the Fighting Slovaks.
Grenadiers vs. Power Sleds There’s not much joy in Mudville after the Graybeard Division representing Grenadiers and Sleds both went down to defeat in Week 16, further compounding their opening round championship series defeats. The Grenadiers quietly slipped into the play offs through the back door, and quickly saw their fortunes fall in spite of a heroic 40 point effort last Sunday that still left them on the wrong side of the score. How cruel the Schedule Maker can be at the most inopportune of times. Meanwhile, the “West Jefferson One-Eyed Jacks” may have fared better if they had kept both eyes open during the play offs although their 73 point barrage in the first two rounds was second only to the Wooden Warriors. Unfortunately for Jack, his “Mean Machine” will end up grindin’ its gears too much on Sunday to muscle past their division rival. Wizard’s Winner…the Grenadiers.
Juggernauts vs. Wildcats Although neither team will play for all the marbles on Sunday, the “Lincoln Glass Shattering Geisha Girls” and the “Western Hills Cat-o-Nine-Tails” are still vying for the third and final spot on the podium at the year end gala after impressive “dubyas” in Week 16. Neither team has ever ascended into such rarified air so it would not surprise the Great Wizardo to see both teams sucking on oxygen masks at regular intervals during the game. Even more, the Nauts and the Cats battled it out for Yellowhammer Division supremacy all season and are still only separated by a scant seven points heading into Sunday, so expect the normal heated intra-divisional rivalries in the BDFL to raise the stakes considerably when these two collide. That being said, were it not for a bitter 31-31 overtime loss to the Dillos in round one of the championship series, Allyson knows she would playing to make history as the first female BDFL champion ever crowned. Nevertheless, it was not be. The Wildcats laid an egg in round one and harbor no illusions of BDFL glory, and surprisingly that will be the edge that allows the them to slip past the Juggernauts, secure a place on the podium, and settle once and for all a hard won division title. Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.
Wooden Warriors vs. Armadillos One thing is for sure, come Sunday evening a new BDFL champion will be crowned and take his place in the legion of honor where other past BDFL champions have tread (the Bullets and their “tainted” title excluded, of course). Whether it will be Jaimie Hand’s “Septic Tank Suckin’ Splendid Splinters” or Kurt Prewitt’s “Lone Star Long Horns” is anyone’s guess, except, as one might imagine, the all knowing Wizard. The Armadillos have had a spectacular rookie campaign, and one that started off strong and never wavered during the long, grueling regular season or wilted during the first two rounds of the play offs. Meanwhile, a Wooden Warrior victory would establish a historical feat that will never be attained again by being the first team to lose its first seven games, be a mere one game from title contending elimination, and promptly reel off ten straight wins to win the BDFL title. Obviously, a huge obstacle in the form of the Armadillos stands in the way of the Warriors, but the Tribe is battle tested and is ready to stake its claims king of the BDFL mountain. When these two finish grappling and the dust settles enough to declare a winner, the Great Wizardo says the Wooden Warriors will finally shed their bridesmaid dress, and they have a closet full of them, and take their rightful spot at the altar. Wizard’s Winner...the Wooden Warriors |
|||||||||||||||||
|
The Scorecard
|
Week 17 2012
WW (-2.5) @ ARM |
|||||||||||||||||
Wizardz Winnerz -
2012
Latest Lines