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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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By: The Wizard
Wizard’s brilliant, insightful commentary (free of charge though it should be dispensed at a premium) “If the playoffs started today, the undefeated Grenadiers would be tossing mullets in Gulf Shores rather than dancing for all the marbles due to a point total that rates 12th among sixteen teams.”
Fighting Slovaks vs. Woosiers Although at one time it was rumored Tommy Todd was “in tight” with the Iron Hand, it would appear either such rumors were greatly exaggerated or that said “tightness” has loosened considerably. Tommy and the “Woo Tang Clan” left Texas looking more like the “Ku Klux Klan” after getting whitewashed by the Armadillos despite a heroic 34 point effort. Despite the gut wrenching defeat in something of a “must win” game, or at least “we really needed to win that one” game, this week Tommy and the Woosiers limp back to Smoke Rise in time to take on Adam Slovensky and his suddenly fearsome “Fighting Slaves”, a team that sits atop its division despite pulling out an ugly win in Week 8. The Great Wizardo says moving day is nigh for several BDFL teams with big point totals and few “dubyas” to show for it, the Woosiers being chief on that list. The Woosiers may well pull out a win, but not by enough to cover the modest ELVO spread, especially since the Schedule Maker may show some favoritism to Cousin Adam. Wizard’s Winner…the Fighting Slovaks.
Grenadiers vs. Bullets The Hatfields and McCoys got nuthin’ on the Hand/Slovensky clan when it comes to family feuds in the BDFL. Case in point, Chris Hand takes his undefeated “Knuckle Draggin’ Banana Eaters” to Benton this weekend to take on kid brother Bullet and his “Satruday Night Specials” in yet another edition of the Hand’s “Siblin’ Civil War.” The Great Wizardo always says that “If you’re gonna’ go ugly, go ugly early. That way you get the best of the uglies.”, a sayin’ the Grenadiers took to heart after a p!$$ poor effort in Week 8 still saw them win in relative comfort against the hapless Wizards. Still, there’s only so many cards you can pull out of your sleeve before whiskey drinkin’ Big Jim decides someone’s been ‘a cheatin’ him in poker and proceeds to start slingin’ lead. In short, Chris might want to duck, or at least wear a bullet proof vest heading into Sunday. Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.
Wooden Warriors vs. Wizards In a shameless attempt to curry favor with the Great Wizardo, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney spoke at a rally at the high school where one his daughters graduated and the other is preparing to walk this spring. Of course, that assumes the Wizard can scrape up enough cash to buy off the principal to let her graduate, something easier said than done since the Wiz is still recovering from having to buy off the same principal almost two years ago in order for his first daughter graduate. Still, the school, barely a mile from the Wizard homestead, was packed with 15,000 people, most there no doubt to see the Wizard. Nevertheless, Romney was able to fight his way through the legions of Wizard fans long enough to “kiss the ring” before being lost in a sea of Wizard admirers. As you might imagine, it was well worth the effort for Mitt knowing that as goes the Wizard, so goes Florida. Wizard’s Winners…the Wooden Warriors.
Mayors vs. PowerSleds Jack Barnes will be the wheel man in his “Ramblin’ Wreck from Bessemer Tech” on Sunday when Alan Arrington makes the short trip to Fairfield with his “City Hall Hooligans’ in tow. With election season at a fever pitch, the home standing Power Sleds can expect Alan to be “stumping” around town rounding up every last vote, and point, he can muster prior to Sunday. Both teams have championship aspirations, but will need to navigate some treacherous waters if they are to stay above the “Bullet Line” by the end of Week 14. ELVO likes the Mayors, no doubt because they have greased his palm sufficiently to earn the right, but his endorsement won’t be enough to carry the day when the polls close. Wizard’s Winner…the PowerSleds.
Armadillos vs. Sloth Monsters Kurt Prewitt and his “El Paso Pecadillos” have taken the BDFL by storm in their inaugural season while Mike Dismukes and the “Monster Mashers” have been somewhat under the radar yet have a very dangerous team that should be dancin’ when the play offs begin. The Armadillos took the “ya’ load up, ya’ party” approach in a Week 8 explosion to hold off a hard charging bunch of Woosiers. Nevertheless, a close examination reveals their points came from some unusual places leading the Wizard to think Kurt and the gang will be in more of a “we get dressed, but we don’t get high” mode come Sunday when they arrive in Silver Lakes. Victory is still possible, but there’s no way the Sloths let the Dillos leave down covering a healthy spread. Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.
Dogs vs. Gamblers A surgeon that does a lot of colo-rectal surgery once told the Wizard that “after you turn 50 years old, never trust a fart”, which simply means at some point age causes things that used to work to not work so well. The Great Wizardo also found it applicable to Mark Burr’s “Mangy Mongrels” as well. While the Dogs are two games above the “Bullet Line” with a respectable point total, the Great Wizardo sees enough holes in their line up to squeeze a Mack truck through. Meanwhile, the Gamblers have been throwing “snake eyes” more often than not and are already making plans to go to Gulf Shores for the annual Mullet Toss beginning in Week 15. Nevertheless, the Gamblers are better than their record indicates, and, at the very least, will cover the relatively healthy spread ELVO has laid down. Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.
Juggernauts vs. Blitz That same surgeon also told the Great Wizardo that in residency they were told, in a macabre sense, that “all bleeding stops…eventually”, an observation that might be apropos for Jerry Fritz’s “Squirmin’ Germans” after they fell four games under the dreaded “Bullet Line” heading into Week 9. To rub salt in the wound, Alyson Edwards and her “Stinkin’ Lincoln Rolling Stones” are behind the Blitz in the points standings yet would be dancing in the BDFL championship series while the Blitz would be packing for Gulf Shores. In spite of the gloom and doom pervading the Blitz camp, the Great Wizardo says the Blitz are far from done, and may even have enough horses under the hood pull themselves up by the bootstraps and make a play off run yet. Regardless, the Blitz will cover on Sunday, and cover to boot. Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz.
Cheetahs vs. Wildcats It will be pussy galore on Sunday when Butch Neal’s “Cat Scratch Fevers” tangle with Jerry James and the “Western Hills Fe-Lions” this weekend. The match up features two teams in the thick of the play off hunt in addition to being very evenly matched as their point totals suggest. Making matters a bit more “testy”, the Cheetahs have spent more than a few tough draft days being driven to the edge of insanity, and likely a couple of steps over at certain points, by the Wildcats, and would love nothing better than to “Just Say No” to Jerry’s Cats by administering an ol’ fashioned “A.W.” The fact that the Cheetahs need a “dubya” to stay above the “Bullet Line” only adds fuel to the fire. Still, even the modest 2.5 points given by ELVO overestimates how close these two are, figuratively if not literally, making it difficult for the Cheetahs win and cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats |
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The Scorecard
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Week 9 2012
DOG (-3.5) @ GAM |
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Wizardz Winnerz - Week
9
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