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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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By: The Wizard
Armadillos vs. Wooden Warriors Jaimie Hand’s “Whittled Warriors” have started the season on an unprecedented six game losing streak leaving the Wizards to say, “Thank goodness for Mississippi and the Wooden Warriors” after an almost as disastrous start. The problem is these are not an inept bunch of Warriors, and in fact have the makings of a dangerous team. Still, Jaimie hasn’t had this many bad breaks since Curtis Stewart trucked Jaimie in the 1981 state playoffs, leaving behind a couple of broken ribs in his wake. Nevertheless, ELVO, as is his wont, thinks far too highly of the “Lone Star Longhorns”, and will pay dearly for his oversight. Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.
Juggernauts vs. Bullets When Bullet was a mere youngster in 1977 during his first varsity football spring training, he was more of a cap than a bullet, truth be told, Coach Cook tried to protect the young Bullet from being injured by stopping him from tackling varsity lineman Tory LeSeuer waiting instead for a smaller, younger opponent on which Bullet could test his mettle. Bullet, sensing he was being inadvertently “dissed” by Coach Cook, growled, “No, I’ll take him on.” Coach Cook relented, let Bullet go, then watched in admiration as Bullet felled Tory like a sack of potatoes. The moral of the story is “fight your own battle because even if you lose, at least you have some respect.” The rest of the story is Tory decided to hang his cleats up soon thereafter thereby preventing Bullet from taunting him everyday. Instead, Bullet has spent most of the next thirty-five years taunting the rest of us instead. Thanks a lot Tory. Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.
Blitz vs. Dogs Jerry Fritz and his “Panzer Packin’ Pachyderms” got taken to the woodshed last weekend, leaving with an “A.W.” for their troubles while Mark Burr and the “Brookside Be-yotch Boys” won a thrilling Week Six shoot, a “dubya” that put them squarely in playoff contention one game before mid-season report cards come out. Jerry and the Blitz may not want to stray to far from the woodshed this weekend when they travel to Five Mile Crick Ballpark to battle the Dogs in an intra-divisional rivalry with two teams close in the points, but heading in opposite directions in terms of their won-loss record. If it was July 4th Jerry could mosey up to Grandma Slovensky’s house just past the right field fence to grub on some mighty fine barbeque and play horseshoes. Unfortunately for Jerry, July 4th has long since passed, all of the barbeque has been eaten, and he wouldn’t have fared too well at horse shoes anyway since the Slovensky boys always rig the game. Wizard’s Winners…the Dogs.
Gamblers vs. Fighting Slovaks The Wizard has often opined (Wizard’s Note: Legendary prognosticators only refer to themselves in third person and tend to “opine”, or yammer like a busted chainsaw, frequently.) that Adam Slovensky’s coaching was so bad it could “screw up a wet dream”, a point Adam’s “Bumbling Slavs” have proven all to frequently in the past, including a pair of miserable outings the last two weeks. Nevertheless, prior to their losing streak the Slovaks had rung up BDFL opponents like a cashier checking someone out at the local Piggly Wiggly, and went back to their winning ways by pounding sand on the PowerSleds last weekend. Week Seven will see Kenny Breal and his “Ramblin’ Men” will pile into the back seat of a Greyhound Bus for the trip to Helena to try and get a season gone awry back on track. The Great Wizardo can’t promise Kenny a badly needed vict'ry, at least not the same way the Iron Hand promises the Gamblers league “consideration” for an all expenses paid trip to Nawlins, but he does say the Slovaks will not cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.
PowerSleds vs. Cheetahs Jack Barnes and the “Fairfield Road Runners” roar into Riverchase this Sunday afternoon to battle Butch Neal’s “Kitty Litter” down at the Cat House. Another of the many intra-divisional rivalries, this match features a four-time champion in the Cheetahs versus the two-time, and defending, champion Sleds. The Sleds are well positioned for a playoff run even though they were mauled by the Slovaks in Week Six while the Cheetahs, in spite of a respectable point total, are close to going to DefCon Three and flushing the bombers after a loss last weekend to their bitter rivals the Grenadiers dropped them two games below the “Bullet” line. Nevertheless, while they may be mere oversized spotted cats in the jungle, do not make the same mistake ELVO made by not thinking this bunch has the heart of a lion. Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.
Mayors vs. Wildcats Jerry James and his “Cat ‘o Nine Tails” would be more aptly named if they were the “Cat o’ Nine Lives” after riding a modest roster to a first place ranking in the hotly contested Yellow Hammer Division. Not to be outdone, Alan Arrington has his “Bleeding Heart Bureaucrats” out front as well in their division, though it’s in the Gray Beard, as the season rapidly approaches midseason. These two divisions are also slugging it out for the divisional points crown as well making this easily the marquis match-up of the week. Nevertheless, bye weeks continue to wreak havoc on starting line-ups with none being more decimated than the Cats. Besides, the Great Wizardo figures the Wildcats have used up at least seven of those lives so far in 2012 and likely don’t have enough left to make it to the finish line, or probably to even win and cover on Sunday. Wizard’s Winner…the Mayors.
Grenadiers vs. Woosiers While the Great Wizardo has always said it’s nice to “have friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away”, he also knows an “inside job” when he sees one. In particular, despite placing 11th out of 16 BDFL teams, Chris Hand and his “Wolf Back Brigade” have marched to the only perfect records, in wins that is, in the BDFL after six weeks of play. Looking to knock the Grenadiers from their lofty perch will be Tommy Todd and the “Woo Crew”, a team renowned for being built for late season surges, and one that would like nothing better than to cement their legacy by taking down the undefeated Grenadiers. Of course, when you play Chris you not only tackle his team, one must also overcome his jack-booted thugs in the league scheduling office as well. In short, just enough Woosiers are taking the week off to grease the skids just enough for Chris to skate by yet another week. Wizard’s Winner…the Grenadiers.
Wizards vs. Sloth Monsters When asked what he typically gave his “ol’ lady” for special occasions, the Great Wizardo replied, “chocolates or flowers, but usually promises I don’t intend to keep”, which about sums up Merlin and the “Hillsborough County Hex Hurlers” so far this season. A year where about the only thing the Wizards have won is a “Toilet Bowl” award for their especially putrid six point total last weekend. On the other hand, Mike Dismukes and the “Silver Slithers” have been flying largely under the radar screen so far this season, but have the roster to make a run at a long awaited second title if they catch a few breaks. Fortunately for the Sloths, the Wizards tend to serve as a tonic that cures all that ails thee though it’s a tonic that appears to work better on the ills of opposing teams. Nevertheless, ELVO has veered to wildly off course with a 5.5 point spread in favor of the Sloths, and will not be able to get it back between the ditches in time to put this one in the column. Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards. |
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The Scorecard
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Week 7 2012
ARM (-4.5) @ WW |
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Wizardz Winnerz - Week
7
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