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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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By: The Wizard
Wizards vs. Grenadiers If Chris Hand and the “T-town Storm Troopers” were cats, they would have used up all nine lives, and probably gone into debt by using a couple of more, in route to the only perfect record in the BDFL through seven weeks of action. The fact the Grenadiers rank a paltry 12th out 16 teams in points has the Great Wizardo thinking the fix is in with the BDFL brass, which is not good news for Merlin and the “Lollipop Guild”, especially given the latter being has been so bad they could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Nevertheless, while nothing has changed in Tampa regarding the Wizards, the wiley ol’ Wizard says the Grenadiers can’t continue to dodge one land mine after another. At some point the odds will catch up to Chris. Kind of like playing the tenth level on Space Invaders when the computer decides enough is enough and sends so many aliens so quickly that they overwhelm even the best players. Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.
Gamblers vs. Wooden Warriors This game features a pair of BDFL “has beens” going no where fast while doing little more each week than looking for a soft spot on the field to lay down on and take yet another beating. Both are storied franchises with the Gamblers the proud owners of two BDFL titles while the Wooden Warriors have been contenders for the title almost every year despite never having made it to the summit. The one thing Jaimie can be proud of his about winless “Wandering Warriors” is no one can accuse them of being full of crap after the steaming pile they laid in an historic Week Seven “A.W.” at the hands of Texas rookie Armadillos. Of course, Kenny’s “Big Sleazies” can’t say much after suffering an “A.W.” from the Fighting Slovaks, an “A.W.” that brings with it the resident taunts all week from Adam Slovensky. In short, this is a coin flip that both teams might still lose, but at some point someone has to be declared the winner, and that someone will be the Wooden Warriors. Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.
Mayors vs. Bullets The Great Wizardo says “for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.” To prove his theory, the Wizard need look no farther than the Slovaks and Bullets. When Bullet is yammering away like busted chainsaw, Adam is generally quiet, or at least quieter, but when the Slovaks are rappin’ their way through the BDFL schedule with alarming ease, the Bullets tend to fad into the woodwork. The Wizard’s theory is holding water so far in 2012 because while the Slovaks are aggravating everyone within a seven state radius, hardly a peep has been heard from the Little Brown Jug on Copperhead Road in Benton. After suffering a heartbreaking defeat in Week Seven, Bullet and the “Shag King Confederacy” get to test their royal lineage against Alan Arrington’s “Magic City Monarchs” at Trey Pettimore Stadium on Sunday afternoon. The Great Wizardo doesn’t see a contender among this motley pair, and says the Bullets may not win although they will cover. Wizard’s Winners…the Bullets.
PowerSleds vs. Dogs Jack Barnes took enough time off in 2011 from popping out kids like a pez dispenser to garner his third BDFL title, a title with an almost fifteen year gap from Jack’s last championship. Nevertheless, there is little doubt the Sleds are back from their annual protests against the BDFL “Machine”, and are trying to position themselves for another title run. That run will take a detour through Brookside when the “Fairfield Sooooouuuullll Train” comes through town on a whistle stop tour to face Mark Burr and his pack of “Brookside/Coalburg Curs” at Five Mile Crick Ballpark on Sunday. Despite both teams jockeying for playoff position, the Great Wizardo thinks both are more smoke than mirrors, a suspicion that will begin to play this weekend where regardless of who wins, however the Sleds will not cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Dogs.
Wildcats vs. Fightin' Slovaks Were a poll to be taken to determine which BDFL member was most effective at getting under the skin of its fellow league members, the Great Wizardo says it would likely be a tie between A-Slo’s “A-Hole$” and Jerry James’s Wildcats with the choice so obvious each team would likely vote for itself. Whether it’s Jerry taking the art of driving Butch Neal and the Cheetahs insane and turning it into an art form or Adam Slovensky’s endless taunts after administering an “A.W.”, something the Slovaks have done with alarming regularity. The fact the Slovaks are no longer the BDFL doormat has the Wizard convinced the Apocalypse is nigh upon us, enough so that he’s been seen digging a fallout shelter and stocking it with non-perishable food, water, and the obligatory box of strawberry pez dispensers he would not share with his ol’ lady or daughters. Nevertheless, both squads are perched atop their respective divisions with their eyes firmly on the BDFL prize waiting at the end of the yellow brick road. Still, ELVO is drinking too much of the Slovaks’ purple Kool-Aid, and will realize his error when it is too late. Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.
Cheetahs vs. Juggernauts With BDFL regular season midpoint due to arrive at the conclusion of Week 8, it’s getting close to moving day for the pretenders while the contenders prepare for the stretch run to the playoffs. No where is that more evident than in Lincoln where Alyson Edwards and her “Bra Burning Rice Rockets” host Butch Neal’s “Riverchase She-Lions” this weekend. With an unprecedented four BDFL title sitting in his trophy case, Butch knows it’s time to dial the pace up to ramming speed starting on Sunday. The Juggernauts are in a virtual deadlock with the Cheetahs in the overall standings although they are on the good side of the “Bullet Line” while the Cheetahs are on the down side. Still, it will be the Cheetahs who are left standing when the dust settles Sunday evening. Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.
Sloth Monsters vs. Blitz The “Bavarian Barbarians” were at the gates last Sunday, but Jerry Fritz’s exhortations seemed to have little impact as the Blitz were violently repulsed, enough so that they retreated with a “toilet seat” hung around their neck. Unfortunately for Jerry, they’ll have to make the quick dash to Atmore to regroup before hosting Mike Dismukes and the “Tree Huggers ‘n Hangers” on Sunday, a team that is in the thick of the fight for a ticket to the season ending “Big Dance” beginning Week 15. That being the case, the Blitz can’t entrust their chances for a victory to the Sloth Monsters coming in flat. Besides Mukes still has plenty of connections from his time in Tuscaloosa as an undergrad (“Best seven years of my life.” Mukes was heard to have uttered.), particularly from his days bartending at Harry’s. However, while Mukes was tending bar, rumor has it he drank at least half of Harry’s profits, but Harry still walked away with a fortune so he holds no ill will towards Mukes. Unfortunately, it may not be enough to allow Mukes to cover a pretty healthy spread laid down by ELVO. Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz.
Woosiers vs. Armadillos Rather than walking around with his head down in deferential silence during his rookie year as BDFL tradition prefers, Kurt Prewitt’s “Tex-Mex Terrors” have been doing the samba on the rest of the league with a 61 point barrage as the exclamation point in Week Seven. Still, the Armadillos will have to float back to earth relatively quickly if they expect to stay on a roll when Tommy Todd and the Woosiers come to town this weekend. Unfortunately for the home team, a bye week for key contributors will weaken their effort just enough to prevent them from covering the large spread ELVO laid on the game. As usual, ELVO is reading too much into the tea leaves and will find out come Sunday he will be left with little more to drink than a weak brew. Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards. |
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The Scorecard
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Week 8 2012
WIZ @ GRE (-4.5) |
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Wizardz Winnerz - Week
8
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