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"Yes, Mark’s Mutts (like Joe Dump at Greentrack and Holiday Al at VictoryLand) are surging to the finish. Once left for dead in a cold, damp pen without food or water, these Dogs are fighting back in the BDFL"
 

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 10: A day late and a dollar short

They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore

Sin Wagon Edges Gamblers on Ivory Coast, er Emerald Coast:

Loaded for bear, or should we say bare, the Sin Wagon rolled to the Gulf Coast to skin a raccoon this weekend, and found that the Gamblers would do just as well. And, while Kenny “Big Head” Breal and Company were “loading up” in the front rooms on Blackjack and Craps, they were giving it all away in the back room to the visitors from the Cheetah III. With three BDFL Championships, guile, guts, and determination, the Travelin’ Cheetahs made the mark on the Gulf Coast and made out with a one-point win over the Dixie Mafia. When the (real) deal was done, the Gamblers seemed satisfied, even though they had lost another game in Fantasy Football, but had some of their fantasy’s come true. “Long live the BDFL!”

Even Steven, Going in: Bullets vs. Mayors:

Going into Week Ten, you could not come up with two more evenly-matched teams in the 2009 BDFL season than the Benton Bullets and the Magic City Mayors. Both entered the weekend with identical 5-4 records, but also with identical 250-point totals. However, after Sunday’s action, the Defending Champions surged ahead. The Benton Bullets escaped the Magic City with a hard-fought 28-23 vict’ry over the Incarcerated Cronies. The Bullets firing all barrels until the “iron turned hot,” put the Mayors away at the Old Grey Lady (Legion Field) in front of a raucous crowd of Lowrey Langford supporters, Red Tape Bureaucrats, and Obamaites who held up signs reading “Free Lowrey.” When the game was over, the Bullets headed out Graymont Avenue to Finley Avenue and then took a short cut through Hooper City and Coalburg on their way to Fieldstown to see the family, before taking The Grand Daddy vict’ry tour back to Benton. As feared, another photograph appears at the bottom of this issue of the BULLETIN. And, with this weekend’s win, the Bullets are now 6-4, with 278 points, good for 2nd overall in the BDFL (just 2 below the Sleds – 280), and virtually assured a spot in the BDCS. Can you say “repeat?” (“I don’t know where else I can take the Grand Daddy?”)

Sleds: Once Bitten – Twice Shy vs. Dogs

Mad Jack’s Mean Machine may have the highest point total in the BDFL, but they have a stinging sensation in their hind quarters this morning, after being bitten by the Brookside Dogs this weekend. Yes, Mark’s Mutts (like Joe Dump at Greentrack and Holiday Al at VictoryLand) are surging to the finish. Once left for dead in a cold, damp pen without food or water, these Dogs are fighting back in the BDFL. It is still an uphill battle, but the Dogs are barking loud and biting back these days. “I think my George Costanza, ‘doing the opposite’ on draft night strategy is beginning to pay off,” said Dog. If the Mutts make it to the Big Dance, it will be one of the biggest turnarounds in League hist’ry. Stay tuned.

B00tleggers Get Skunked:

The double-O’s in B00tleggers, stand for zero, zilch, null set, and none. That’s right. The North Canton Yankees got NO POINTS this weekend. They were shut out by the Black Creek Wooden Warriors, 26-0. “I tried to get 10-more points,” said a delighted Bocephus after the game, “so I could have the same score by which ALABAMA shut out Auburn last year (36-0).” The embarrassment occurred on their home-away-from-home field, venerable Municipal Stadium in Cleveland on the banks of Lake Erie (“the mistake on the lake”). In the same city (or on the road, who keeps track of these things), the Cleveland Browns were also shut out. So, it appears that midway through November there are “two dead in Ohio.”

Commissioner Tops Commandant:

Like the inept Colonel Klink from “Hogan’s Heroes,” the German-inspired Druid City Blitz was completely flummoxed by the visiting Cool Springs Grenadiers (the franchise formerly known as the Green Springs Grenades) this weekend. Maybe it is because the Commissioner has a better feel for the surroundings in yuppie-spangled Homewood, having lived there previously and pretty much taught Jerry Fritz all he knows about the area (but, not surprisingly, not all that the Commissioner knows). You follow. Anyway, it was a big win for the Grenadiers to (1) stop the bleeding, and (2) give them an outside shot as still making the BDCS.

Woo Crew Taunts Nauts:

Tommy T. didn’t exactly roll out the red carpet for the visiting Rice Rockets this Sunday. In fact, the Woo Crew made the visitors feel ‘uncomfortable’ in every way imaginable and it paid off in yet another win for the Woosiers (a BDFL-best 7, if you are keeping score at home – and we know you are). For her part, A.E. was just glad to get out of Hayden with her integrity in tact, remaining the only person in the BDFL with a smidgeon of any – integrity, that is.

Three Toed Tree Dwellers Grab Mildcats by the Throat:

The James Gang left their Vestavia Hills comfort zone and traveled to Silver Lakes (which is a fancy name for the void between Hoover and Bessemer) this weekend, and it was not good news for the visitors. The ever-so-Mild Cats were strangled by the Sloth Monsters, who managed to get a good grip (albeit with no thumbs and only three fingers) around the throats of the Cats. When all of the life was out of the James Gang, when the defeat was complete, Jerry was kind enough to run out to the nearest convenience store and re-supply Mukes with Copenhagen and Miller Lite.

Wizards Beat Slovaks:

Who Cares?

The Grand Daddy - Photo of the week:

The Trophy’s First home: on the mantle in Benton

The Grand Daddy - Photo of the week II:

“In good Hand’s:” The Grand Daddy rests in the hands of Bullet Hand, and may reside there for another year, if current trends (Benton Bullets vict’ries) continue.

Either you know it or you don’t.

THE BREAKUP SONG (They Don't Write 'Em) - Greg Kihn Band – circa 1981

We had broken up for good just an hour before, Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And now I'm staring at the bodies as they're dancing 'cross the floor… Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And then the band slowed the tempo, and the music gets you down… Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
It was the same old song, with a melancholy sound… Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

They don't write 'em like that anymore.  They just don't write 'em like that anymore.

We'd been living together for a million years, Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
But now it feels so strange out of the atmospheres… Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And then the jukebox plays a song I used to know… Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And now I'm staring at the bodies as they're dancing so slow…Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

They don't write 'em like that anymore.  They don't write 'em like that anymore.

Mmmm, now? I wind up staring at an empty glass, Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
Cause it's so easy to say that you'll forget your past… Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

They don't write 'em like that anymore.  No, they just don't write 'em like that anymore.
Oh, they don't write 'em like that anymore.  They just don't write 'em like that anymore.
They just don't, no they don't, no no, uh-uh.  They just don't write 'em like that anymore.
They just don't…

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