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"When the Sloths and the Slovaks get together you can throw out the record book, along with the fine china, the silverware, the placemats, the napkins, and pretty much everything else that is decent and normal"
 

The BDFL from A to Z

Back Bull 2009

Back Bull 2008

Back Bull 2007

Back Bull 2006

Back Bull 2005

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 2: The Quest for The Grand Daddy Continues 

41, 40, 39…
Cheetahs Roar Back to Mangle Mildcats
Down by a dozen after Sunday, the Riverchase Cheetahs (3-time BDFL Champions) did not panic. They simply looked into their X-rated, bag of tricks, and pulled out a 55-gallon, industrial-strength, can of whoop-@$$, and dumped it all over the Rocky Ridge Wildcats (no BDFL Championships) right in the middle of Monday Night Football. “Forty-one, hut, hut!” The Cat Fight was won by the Cheetahs as they put a 41-spot on the board equaling the number of spots on their winter coat. The weekend total earned Butch the “Top Dog” of the week honors and a free ride with Jerry James to T-Town to have pizzas with their sons, with the James Gang picking up the tab – or Fresca.

Power Sleds Slam Blitz
Jerry Fritz, a.k.a. “the Host with the Most,” ventured out of his cozy, comfort zone in a corner of yuppie-spangled Homewood this weekend, and he paid the price. Not just anybody not familiar with U.S. Steel and Southern Electric Steel, can just take their SUV into the fiery furnace of Fairfield and expect to beat the Mean Machine… much less have their hubcaps intact afterwards. The Fritz Blitz felt the red-hot, molted lead and steel this weekend, as the PowerSleds put up 40-points in a big vict’ry at the Dolodome. Mad Jack celebrated the win with a little Edgar Winter blaring at ear-bleeding decibels.

Gamblers Outgun Bullets
With two helmet stickers apiece on vaulted Grand Daddy trophy, the Gamblers and Bullets staged a wild-west shoot out this weekend on the banks of the Alabama River in the tiny hamlet of Benton. When the smoke cleared, the Bullets had 28-points on the board and what looked like a sure vict’ry. But, when Bullet went for a beer, it came rushing out of him through numerous ‘bullet holes’ like the cartoon, cat-character Sylvester (or Tom of “Tom and Jerry” fame, or Wily Coyote). The Gamblers had unloaded their six-shooter in the Bullets, putting up 39-points, and powering themselves to a big win, and then a slow, vict’ry cruise back down the Alabama River, through Selma, Camden, Gees Bend, and Monroeville on their way back home in Mobile.

E-Mails from the Edge I: Woo had to comment:
“Hmm, so far with 2 games completed it's ELVO 2 WIZ 0 and more importantly Bullet is 0-2. From Champ to Chump is looking like a LOCK!”

And the Woo Crew Cruises
Tommy T. can thump his chest out and crow a little to start the season. An opening win against the Defending Champion and first team to hoist the coveted Grand Daddy trophy – the Bullets – got the Woo Crew crowing, and off to a fast beginning in 2009. Now, in Week Two, the Smoke Risers in the Sky pull off a drubbing of the lowly Brookside Dogs – although not an A.W. So, the wielder of WARTS is looking like the early favorite in the BDFL. As for Mark’s Mutts, his Costanza-strategy of ‘doing the opposite’ is not working out in the early going this year (0-2), and he may have to soon make a visit to Uncle Ray for some sagely advise.

Sloths Slay Slovaks
When the Sloths and the Slovaks get together you can throw out the record book, along with the fine china, the silverware, the placemats, the napkins, and pretty much everything else that is “decent and normal.” These two teams just don’t like each other during that 60-minutes of hell on Sunday afternoon, the rest of the time they are the best of friends… swapping lies, and BS stories of heroism from their days in Tuscaloosa, be it at Harry’s Bar (Mukes) or in the basement of the Pi Cap house (Adam). On this ‘any given Sunday,’ the Three Toed Tree Dwellers had a much better grip on their Miller Lites and managed to out do the Fighting Slovaks by an even 12-pack, 30-18. After the game, Adam had only harsh words for No Show Parks, and nothing to say about his first loss of the season to the Sloth Monsters.

E-Mails from the Edge II: ASlo Startin’ Slow:
“It’s about time Mr. Parks left his shuffle board game to drop us a line. He’s probably been tied up at Property Owner Association meeting discussing how low to trim back the shrubs.”

Mr. Parks Mangled by Mr. Mayor
As for Mr. Parks, who has garnered the BDFL nickname of “No Show Parks,” in reference to Country Music Icon, George “No Show” Jones, and Parks’ inability to attend any league events for fear of face-to-face reprisals (where was I going with this)? Yeah, the Pasco County Wizards were taught another lesson in Week Two by the Magic City Mayors. Alan Arrington’s Cronies dished it out and Merlin just couldn’t take it. In the post-game locker room, Parks was asked why he didn’t start Willis McGahee, who had 12-points, and would have provided the margin of vict’ry for the Wizards. Parks said, he just wanted to win something and figured his odds were better for taking home the Dan Reeves/Scott Hunter, “Bonehead of the Week” award, which – of course – he did.

Bootleggers Edge Juggernauts
In the BDFL’s closest game of the week, Allyson Edward’s ’Nauts fell one-point short of pulling off a big upset (according to ELVO, who had the Wood Brothers favored by 5.5) on the road, against the North Canton Bootleggers. Jon Woods’ Big Black Dodge was not firing on all cylinders this weekend, but they managed to get a vict’ry over a bunch of girls, 21-20.

In Brother Brawl, It’s the Grenadiers over Kawliga's Wooden Warriors
Up in Nashville, Tennessee, the Cool Springs Grenadiers and the Black Creek Wooden Warriors sat around most of the day dreaming of their potentially, first-ever BDFL Championship, and subsequent affixing of their team logo on the back of The Grand Daddy, and hoisting the helmet high in celebration, and getting a small measure of revenge on their brother, Bullet, and the other franchises who have felt the ecstasy of actually winning the highest prize in Fantasy Football, and the best trophy. Then, a football game broke out along the banks of the Cumberland River. The contest – if you want to call it that – was short and simple, as the Grenadiers made short work of Kawliga & Company. Hime’s single digit output earns him the loss and a win, if you count the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.

The Grand Daddy (Champion) Photo of the Week:

Paying tribute to deceased cousin and Crimson Tide fan, Greg Ballew, Bullet sits back at Bryant-Denny Stadium at halftime, feints smoking a cigarette and talks with Greg Maxwell during Bama’s 53-7 win over North Texas. Ballew once said during pre-game tailgating activities: “I want it to be ahead 30-0 at halftime, so I can kick back, smoke a cigarette, and talk about the ‘good old days’ with the guy next to me.” He also had the pre-game line: “They better show me something.” As the Commissioner pointed out: Greg Ballew was quite a backyard football referee before the beer and cigarettes.

The Grand Daddy Photo of the Week, Part II:

Willie Wyatt serves as honorary captain prior to the Alabama vs. North Texas game. He came over to the fence to inquire about the BDFL with Bullet and Jaimie (and Nic Hand), after his on-field duties were complete. Here is what Wikipedia has on Willie: Willie Wyatt (born September 27, 1967 in Birmingham, Alabama) was an Arena Football League who played offensive lineman/defensive lineman for the Detroit Drive in 1993 and the Tampa Bay Storm from 1995–1999, and again in 2001. He wore #55. He also played for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers of the National Football League in 1990. Wyatt played high school football at Gardendale High School in Gardendale, Alabama. Wyatt now coaches high school football as a varsity defensive line coach at Spain Park High School in Hoover, Alabama
 

Click here for the spotlight close-up

Mukes Miller SpotLite of the week:

Is this a feature this year, so just another shameless self-promotion scam by Bullet and Mukes?

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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