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"The Pasco County Wizards who have now become famous for BDFL no-shows at league functions will try to use this win to become “relevant” in a league that has passed them by"
 

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By Bob Bullet

The Bulletin - Week 1: The Quest for The Grand Daddy Begins

Woo Crew Gets Revenge

Tommy T. apparently agonized in the off-season, after pulling a major bonehead in last year’s semi-finals which cost him a chance to be the first man to hoist The Grand Daddy. It gnawed at him all summer long – how he left Brandon Jacobs and 24-points “on the bench,” and lost to the eventual champion Benton Bullets (who have had a blast with The Grand Daddy and subsequent, proverbial vict’ry tour). However, this is a new year. And the Woo Crew did in Week One what it does best… get even. The Woosiers outscored the Bullets 34-31 in an epic opening week contest. The Bullerino had the The Big Daddy in Week One – top MGD selection Adrian Peterson (24-points), but felt the sting of leaving Fred Taylor (NE) on the bench, and those 6-points would have made the difference. Meanwhile, Woo got the win despite getting the Bonehead of the Week Award (again) leaving Philadelphia’s Defense (18-points) on the sidelines. “We’re starting off exactly where they left off last year but, it didn't matter! With the off-season we have had to endure, I had to get in a little shot!” said Master Woo, who begins the year 1-0.

Bootleggers Kick Sledheads, 32-30

Speaking of rough off-seasons, nobody’s has been worse that Jon Wood. But, we understand he is getting better each and every day. The Woods Brothers had to leave the drafting up to Nic Hand this year, and even though he struggled at times, Nic managed to get just enough players to start the 2009 campaign with a vict’ry for the Bootleggers. The Mean Machine, which lost in last year’s Big Daddy Bowl, didn’t seem to have a hangover from last year, putting up 30-points, but that wasn’t good enough to outrun the Big Block Dodge of the Woods Brothers.

Let the Rappin’ Begin

Adam Slo (as always) started talking trash even before his EuroTrash Talkers took the field for the 2009 season, and things worked out just fine for the Fighting Slovaks. After winning a preliminary injunction from the Commissioner in the off-season to keep the word “Fighting” in his nickname, Adam Slo bit the Brookside Dogs on opening day, 26-22. For Mark’s Mutts it looks like pulling a “Costanza” (doing the opposite) on draft night is not yet paying dividends for the perennial cellar-dwellers, who are looking to end a 14-year losing streak in the BDFL, and capture their first championship and hoist The Grand Daddy. For now, those dreams – like the Allman Brothers song – may be “Dreams he’ll never see.”

Commish Dissed by Gamblers

Speaking of dreams of a first-ever title being shattered, the Cool Springs Grenadiers (the franchise formerly known as the Grenades) took it on the chin in Week One. In a week that saw no A.W.’s, the Grenadiers came close, getting doubled-up by the Gulf Coast Gamblers, 28-14. A logo on the back of The Grand Daddy may have to wait another year for the Commissioner, if the opening week is any indication of how his 2009 season is going to go. On the other hand, the Gamblers have served early notice that their intention is clear for the ’09 season, and that’s to place another “Card” logo on the back of The Grand Daddy to tie the Cheetahs with three BDFL Championships.

Cheetahs Fall by Two TDs Too

Three “Cheetah” logos may adorn the back of The Grand Daddy, but that didn’t impress the Druid City Blitz in the opening weekend of the BDFL season. Jerry Fritz’ Gritz Blitz turned the Table Dancers ‘every which way but loose’ posting a 14-point win over the Cheetahs. The Super Bowl Gala’s “host with the most” is ready to launch an all out offensive – a blitzkrieg – if you will, for his first championship this season and take his turn parading The Grand Daddy all over Homewood, Green Springs, and Southside… not to mention, T-Town.

Wildcats Show Some ‘Spirit’ in Defeating Mayors

The James Gang was not even nominated for the Commissioner’s new “Spirit Award” at the MGD, and it rubbed them the wrong way. In Week One, the Rocky Ridge Wildcats took out their frustrations on the Magic City Mayors (who did win the Spirit Award with an ultimate BDFL Banner). J.J.’s BioCats put up 33-points and kicked back and relaxed with an easy vict’ry over A.A. With the second-highest point-total after the opening weekend of the BDFL season, the Wildcats are no-doubt adding their franchises list of ‘contenders’ to Hoist the Helmet in ’09.

Nauts Knocked off by Wizards

The Jugtown Juggernauts ventured down to Tampa Town (“It’s a mighty fine place to be, they’ve got green grass and got high tides, and it sure sounds good to me,” -The Outlaws) in Week One. However, as a lawyer, A.E. was overrun with the ambulance chasers and D.A.’s in the area – not District Attorneys. One such minion – Merlin – D.A. (not lawyer) had just enough tricks up his sleeves, with assistance from another counselor – New Barry Stephenson – to pull out a big win, 28-17 (in a week the Bulletin staff – may add – that had a number or “real looking” football scores… 34-31; 28-14; 31-17; 28-17). The Pasco County Wizards who have now become famous for BDFL no-shows at league functions will try to use this win to become “relevant” in a league that has passed them by.

Sloths Start Out Slow

Fate may finally be shining for the Black Creek Wooden Warriors. Old Kawliga got just 15-points in Week One (3rd worst overall), but got a big assist from the ‘schedule-maker.’ The Woodies were matched up against the Three Toed Tree Dwellers, who get to hoist the first “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” honors for 2009. The Son of Slim just couldn’t get anything going in the opening weekend of the season, and lost to the Tribe 15-11. However, in the post-game, tailgating festivities, Mukes topped Jaimie by the same score of Miller Lite’s. With good fortune list this, Bocephus must be thinking this could be the year be breaks the “bridesmaid” curse, and gets to capture his first-ever BDFL Championship and (you guessed it) take home the hardware – The Grand Daddy.

The Grand Daddy Photo of the Week

The glistening BDFL Championship trophy pays a visit to Bryant-Denny Stadium, for the 4^th-ranked Crimson Tide’s home opener against FIU, a 40-14 vict’ry.

Click here for the spotlight close-up

Mukes Miller SpotLite of the week:

With just 11 points in Week 1, the light is burnt out in Mukes' spotlight.

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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