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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                             2007

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By Bob Bullet

Week 15
 

Or the playoffs… Or a tribute to Molly Hatchet’s “Flirtin’ with Disaster”

Since Bullet remains the only Hand with a BDFL Championship

“I’m travelin’ down the road, and I’m flirtin’ with disaster. I’ve got the pedal to the floor, my life is running faster.
I’m out of money, I’m out of hope, It looks like self destruction. How much more can we take with all of this corruption?”

Corruption, I’ll say.  It took only one game, for the Number One Seed to fall out of the Big Daddy Championship Series.  The Rocky Ridge Wildcats looked more like the Mildcats from previous years in the opening round of the playoffs.  Tommy T’s Smoke Rise Woosiers – with the 15^th best point in the BDFL – or, should we say with the next-to-last point total this season, pulled a major upset to begin the Big Dance Tournament Bracket.  The Woo Crew needed (and got) seven other BDFL teams to post losing records in 2007, just to reach the playoffs, but now that they are there – and in control of their own destiny – they could pull an even-more-surprising rabbit out of their hats than the Tarnishers did a year ago.  “Big Daddy Bowl, here we come,” yelled Woosier athletic supporters late Sunday night.

“Flirtin’ with disaster, Y’all know what I mean. And the way we run our lives, it makes no sense to me.
I don’t know about yourself or, what you want to be. When we gamble with our time, we choose our destiny.”
Speaking of (or singing of) Gamblers… the Gulf Coast Gamblers met their match this weekend as the EuroTrash Talkers stalked into the casinos and doubled-down, bet heavy, pulled out aces, and walked away from Kenny B & Company, 26-21.  Now, the Fighting Slovaks will advance in the BDCS and try to avoid their debacle in last year’s Big Dance that led to the uprising of the terrible Tarnishers.  As for now, the streets of Bratislava, Bratislavsky, Kosicky, and Nitriansky, not to mention Brookside, are in absolute delirium at the prospect of a Slovensky possibly reaching the promised land in the BDFL. “Yoy, yoy, yoy!”

“I’m travelin’ down that lonesome road. Feel like I’m dragging a heavy load.
Yeah! I’ve tried to turn my head away, Feels about the same most every day. (You know what I’m talking about.)”

Hand’s Down! (One and Q) This season feels about the same to the Grenades and the Wooden Warriors as they both go down in ignominious defeat in the first round of the BDFL Playoffs. [And securely go to another season without a sniff of their first BDFL Championship, and have to face another holiday season with Brother Bullet, who holds the family’s only Big Daddy Football League Championship.]

Up in Nashville, the Green Springs Grenades once again forgot all about the ‘touch-and-go” policy, and were left outside of the Championship picture for yet another year.  This year looked good for the Commissioner, until the Sin Wagon rolled across the Cumberland, down Music Row, and the Riverchase Cheetahs got out and danced all over the ‘Aides in Round One.  Look for a busy off-season and for old Paper Iron to tweek the rules even more to try and capture what seemingly can’t be captured by his motley lot.  Maybe he should finally give up on the name Grenades (even the Oilers changed to Titans and made the Super Bowl) and pick a name more in line with his new locale.  (Suggestions: Nashville Scorchers, Cumberland Commishes, Music Row Horn Suckers)

“Speeding down the fast lane, honey we playin’ from town to town. The boys and I have been burnin’ it up, can’t seem to slow it down.
I’ve got the pedal to the floor, our lives are runnin’ faster, Got our sights set straight ahead, but ain’t sure what we’re after.”

The youngest Hand brother, Hime, was also sent home in Round One.  The Wooden Warriors rallied to make the BDCS, but were given a through and complete A.W. in the opening game of the playoffs by the resurgent Jugtown Juggernauts.  A.E.’s girls came to play this weekend, putting up 37-points behind their dynamic duo of LaDainian Tomlinson and Adrian Peterson, who have looked a lot like Barry Harrison and Joe Mickles this season at Rocket Stadium.  And, with L.T., and A.P.’s teams (Chargers and Vikings – respectively) battling for their NFL playoff lives, look for these two to continue rolling up points for the Rice Rockets as the Big Dance moves to Act Two.

Flirtin’ with disaster, Y’all know what I mean. You know the way we run our lives, It makes no sense to me.
I don’t know about yourself or what you plan to be - yeah! When we gamble with our time we choose our destiny.

“We’re travelin’ down that lonesome road. Feel like I’m dragging a heavy load.
Don’t try to turn my head away. I’m flirtin’ with disaster every day. (And you are too.  It ain’t for everybody.  But, you bet your sweet @$$ it is for Dothan, Alabama!)”

The Bulletin is going to save some space this week and give our readers a break by not recounting the lowly Mullet Series, except to say that the Mayors, Power Sleds, Blitz, and Tarnishers moved closer to the Big Mullet Bowl, while the Bullets, Dogs, Bootleggers, and Sloth Monsters slipped toward the abyss known as the “Toilet Bowl.”  That’s not to be confused with the bowl game that Bullet, Mukes, Jaimie and D.K. are going to later this month in Shreveport.  As you know, that’s the Petro Sun, Poulan Chain Saw, Weed Eater, Get-your-car-back with Title Max, Independence Bowl.

“Flirtin’ with disaster, babe, damn sure know what I mean. You know the way we run our lives, it makes no sense to me.
I don’t know about yourself or what you plan to be – yeah.  When we gamble with our time we choose our destiny.
We’re travelin’ down that lonesome road. Feel like I’m dragging a heavy load.
Don’t try to turn my head away, bop, bop, bop yeah!
I’m flirtin’ with disaster every day.”

From a recent David Letterman program: Top Ten (Parks @ AU conversations/lines from 1982-1986)

10. You’re a Dudchock, and you’re not from Brookside?

9. Hey, Tambrello, anybody ever call you Brillo Head?

8. Does anyone know where McGinty’s glasses are?

7. (At Sewell Hall) The media’s gone, but someone left one festering in there.

6. Dye: We got classes starting next week… and, that’s a distraction.

5. Blakeney: Here Jeff, keep it down home son (not cuz).

4. I don’t know. I either left it at the Poultry Science Center, the Soybean Extension Area, or the Ham Wilson Livestock Arena.

3. Where ya’ll going? Skegee, Skegee, Skegee!

2. Parks, you seen Bo?  No Sir, I’ve been at practice.

1. Parks, you seen Fullwood?  No Sir, I’ve been in class all day.

Quote of the

Week

"From a recent David Letterman program: Top Ten (Parks @ AU conversations/lines from 1982-1986)
10. You’re a Dudchock, and you’re not from Brookside?
9. Hey, Tambrello, anybody ever call you Brillo Head?
8. Does anyone know where McGinty’s glasses are?
7. (At Sewell Hall) The media’s gone, but someone left one festering in there.
6. Dye: We got classes starting next week… and, that’s a distraction.
5. Blakeney: Here Jeff, keep it down home son (not cuz).
4. I don’t know. I either left it at the Poultry Science Center, the Soybean Extension Area, or the Ham Wilson Livestock Arena.
3. Where ya’ll going? Skegee, Skegee, Skegee!
2. Parks, you seen Bo?  No Sir, I’ve been at practice.
1. Parks, you seen Fullwood?  No Sir, I’ve been in class all day"

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