Dogs vs. Grenadiers

The Great Wizardo was once heard poetically waxing, “Signs, signs, everywhere is signs. Blocking out the scenery, breakin’ my mind. Do this, don’t that. Can’t you read the sign?”, which would be appropriate for Chris Hand and the “Nantucket Nadsmen” because the writing is clearly on the wall that their season has gone the way of the Edsel and the Do Do in recent weeks. Meanwhile, Mark Burr and his “Fabulous Freebirds” are making a strong statement for an invite to the three week, season ending dash for cash that is the championship series, and it is unlikely the Grenadiers can be bothered long enough to stop worshiping at the foot of St. Nick’s statue to put up much more than a token resistance.

Wizard’s Winner…the Dogs.

 

Bullets vs. Blitz

Bullet’s “Banjo Pickin’ Black Belt Bureaucrats” will be particularly excited to load up in the back of ol’ Man Kelsie’s truck and strike out up Highway 82 on their way to T-town, but will soon be disappointed to learn that Jerry’s “Gritz Blitz” has nothing to do with bellyin’ up to the breakfast bar at the local choke ‘n puke for some vittles. Unfortunately for the Blitz, Bullet’s angry hillbillies will likely take out their frustration at the expense of the home team, and will happy to learn that Jerry’s one trick pony (A. Petersen) and their “purdy mouths” won’t be enough to keep the Benton boys from notchin’ a “dubya”, and, to add insult to injury, covering the spread.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.

 

Mayors vs. Sloth Monsters

Mike Dismukes and the “Silver Lakes Tree Huggers” have benefited from being in the woeful Greenhorn Division this season, enough so that an otherwise rocky performance still leaves them within shouting distance of the front running Wooden Warriors. Even better, if Mukes can get his so far underperforming line up to come up to full saw and do so in short order, the Sloths could make a lot of noise in the playoffs. On the other hand, Alan Arrington and his “Pork Barrel Pols” are hoping the home team doesn’t pick this particular weekend to heat up like a microwave. Unfortunately for Alan, the Sloth Monsters won’t have to go too far past “pre heat” to cook the Mayors’ goose and that the closest the Mayors will come to getting on a roll will be twirling on a spit over an open fire with an apple stuck in their collective mouths.

Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.

 

Wizards vs. Wooden Warriors

Jaimie Hand and the suddenly shaky “Black Crick Two Out Ballclub” welcome Merlin and his “Magical Mystery Tour”, an appropriate name given Merlin appears to have no idea what he’s doing after leaving his only kicker on the bench and blowing his last best chance of salvaging their season. It was bad enough that Wizard Consigliore Barry Stephenson was seen getting on a plane to Tampa first thing Tuesday morning, and was heard to say, “I’ll probably need to buy a few new pairs of boots when I get back because I plan to break every one I’ve got off in somebody’s backside when I get to Tampa.” Still, the record books are of little consequence when these two old rivals collide, and the Wizard plans on bringing’ his Sunday best to the show in hopes of playing the spoiler, something he will likely do well enough to at least stay within the spread.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.

 

Juggernauts vs. PowerSleds

Allyson in Wonderland and her “Mad Hatters” (Wizard’s Note: The term “mad as a hatter” comes from early centuries when hat makers often worked with mercury when curing a hat, something that is now well know to cause insanity. ) are watching their season vanish down a rabbit hole in the blink of any eye barring a dramatic turnaround starting Sunday in Fairfield where they will be entertained by “Mad” Jack and the “West Jeff Power Company. The PowerSleds are a team that has come alive in recent weeks and are poised for a legitimate run at the “Big Dance” beginning in mid-December. Only needing one win to qualify for playoff consideration, Jack is sure to roll out the red carpet for his visitors, and maybe even throw in a police escort, to ensure the prey arrive at the stadium safely. The Juggernauts will be happy to know they’ve been invited to dinner until learning they are to be the main course. Bon appétit!

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.

 

Cheetahs vs. Fighting Slovaks

Just as Alabama often points to its sister state to the west while saying “Thank God for Mississippi” when any national ranking comes out since it is often Mississippi that prevents from being dead last in whatever “flavor of the month” is in vogue. The fact that people in Mississippi say much the same thing about Alabama, Arkansas, or Louisiana is better left unsaid. Either way, the same can be said of Adam Slovensky and the “Slobbering Slovaks”, who have been the cure to what ails most any team in the BDFL. Something akin to Mark Grace’s “slump buster” remedy. That being said, the Graybeard Division leading “Mattress Dancin’ Divas”, while certainly not in a slump, are coming off a 15 point loss to the Woosiers and would like nothing better than to notch their sixth “dubya” at the expense of the Slovaks, something the Great Wizardo says the Slovaks will be more than happy to accommodate. Enough so that even the hefty spread laid down by ELVO won’t make much of a difference.

Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.

 

Gamblers vs. Woosiers

If “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” had not been a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western back in the 1960’s, and a surprisingly good one with a superb soundtrack, it would have been an apt description of Tommy Todd’s wacky season thus far. A rollercoaster of a season that veered up last week as the “Smoke Rise Mat Meisters” took the high falutin’ Cheetahs to the pain cave in Week 9, and would like nothing better than to take the visiting “Bayou Yahoos” down the same path when they arrive on Sunday. While the Woosiers will certainly be in the required uniform (a leotard or tights and a lobotomy) upon the Gamblers arrival, they will soon find that while knowin’ when to hold & when to fold is always important when cutting the cards with their visitors, knowing when to walk, or in this case run, away is even more important.

Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.