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 The
WARTS Report
Woosier's Accurate
Real Time Scoring, better known by its acronym WARTS, is the BDFL's
official scorer
HAYDEN -
Born out of necessity and to avoid cheap, flawed and rickety online scoring systems, WARTS
has been tediously tracking the scoring for every league player for every
BDFL game
for over 10 years. With a highly trained staff of number-crunchers, WARTS
never makes a mistake in scoring the BDFL. In a bottom
line driven world, WARTS is the trusted name in scoring accuracy with
expert recall in BDFL scoring history and scoring rules interpretation.
Eerily patterned after the ancient Chinese samurai warrior Cyrus Woo's
system of accurately accounting for and logging all the dead he killed
during his many battlefield vict'ries, WARTS is sharp and to the
point. According to ancient Chinese onion-skinned
manuscripts from the 400's, the famous Woo once defeated Attila Mundzuk in a
friendly neighborhood skirmish with smoke, mirrors and caffeine as his
chief weapons before the young Attila got his start with the Huns. WARTS data
processing is also very influential in league statistics, BDFL play-off
seeding and other important analytical league procedures.
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Week 13 Results
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2011 |
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WEEK #13 |
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OPEN: ALL TEAMS PLAYING |
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Blitz |
LW |
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Bullets |
IN |
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QB |
Dalton/CIN |
3 |
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QB |
Brees/NO |
12 |
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RB |
Tomlinson/NYJ |
0 |
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RB |
Forte/CHI |
0 |
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RB |
Ogbonnaya/CLE |
0 |
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RB |
Wells/ARI |
6 |
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WR |
Welker/NE |
0 |
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WR |
Fitzgerald/ARI |
0 |
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WR |
LaFell/CAR |
0 |
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WR |
Driver/GB |
6 |
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WR |
Johnson/HOU |
0 |
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WR |
Meachem/NO |
6 |
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PK |
Bironas/TEN |
11 |
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PK |
Kasay/NO |
7 |
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DF |
New York Jets |
0 |
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DF |
Buffalo |
0 |
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TOTAL |
14 |
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TOTAL |
37 |
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Cheetahs |
IWE |
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Dogs |
LW |
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Fightin' Slovaks |
IN |
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Gamblers |
IN |
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QB |
Fitzpatrick/BUF |
3 |
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QB |
Grossman/WAS |
0 |
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QB |
Ryan/ATL |
3 |
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QB |
Rodgers/GB |
12 |
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RB |
McCoy/PHI |
9 |
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RB |
Mendenhall/PIT |
12 |
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RB |
Moreno/DEN |
0 |
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RB |
Jackson/STL |
0 |
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RB |
Green-Ellis/NE |
6 |
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RB |
Tate/HOU |
0 |
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RB |
Benson/CIN |
0 |
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RB |
Hillis/CLE |
0 |
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WR |
Johnson/DET |
0 |
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WR |
Gates/SD |
0 |
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WR |
White/ATL |
3 |
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WR |
Edwards/SF |
0 |
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WR |
Gronkowski/NE |
12 |
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WR |
Bryant/DAL |
3 |
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WR |
Burress/NYJ |
0 |
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WR |
Finley/GB |
3 |
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WR |
Moore/NO |
3 |
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WR |
Knox/CHI |
0 |
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WR |
Branch/NE |
0 |
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WR |
Lloyd/STL |
0 |
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PK |
Bailey/DAL |
10 |
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PK |
Cundiff/BAL |
6 |
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PK |
Feely/ARI |
7 |
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PK |
Crosby/GB |
8 |
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DF |
New Orleans |
0 |
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DF |
Atlanta |
0 |
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DF |
Oakland |
0 |
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DF |
Chicago |
0 |
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TOTAL |
43 |
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TOTAL |
21 |
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TOTAL |
13 |
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TOTAL |
23 |
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Grenadiers |
IN |
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Juggernauts |
IWE |
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Mayors |
IWE |
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Sloth Monsters |
IN |
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QB |
Jackson/SEA |
3 |
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QB |
Manning/NYG |
12 |
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QB |
Hasselbeck/TEN |
0 |
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QB |
Rivers/SD |
12 |
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RB |
Williams/CAR |
0 |
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RB |
Blount/TB |
0 |
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RB |
Foster/HOU |
6 |
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RB |
Jones-Drew/JAX |
3 |
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RB |
Jacobs/NYG |
6 |
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RB |
Starks/GB |
0 |
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RB |
Murray/DAL |
0 |
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RB |
Bush/MIA |
6 |
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WR |
Cruz/NYG |
0 |
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WR |
Jennings/GB |
3 |
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WR |
Nicks/NYG |
6 |
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WR |
Jackson/SD |
3 |
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WR |
Marshall/MIA |
0 |
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WR |
Graham/NO |
0 |
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WR |
Davis/SF |
0 |
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WR |
Gonzalez/ATL |
0 |
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WR |
Bowe/KC |
0 |
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WR |
Johnson/BUF |
3 |
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WR |
Crabtree/SF |
6 |
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WR |
Harvin/MIN |
9 |
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PK |
Henery/PHI |
2 |
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PK |
Folk/NYJ |
13 |
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PK |
Rackers/HOU |
5 |
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PK |
Janikowski/OAK |
2 |
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DF |
Tampa Bay |
0 |
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DF |
Green Bay |
6 |
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DF |
Dallas |
0 |
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DF |
Kansas City |
0 |
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TOTAL |
11 |
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TOTAL |
37 |
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TOTAL |
23 |
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TOTAL |
35 |
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PowerSleds |
IWE |
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Wizards |
IN |
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Woosiers |
IN |
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WWarriors |
IN |
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QB |
Brady/NE |
6 |
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QB |
Young/PHI |
3 |
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QB |
Stafford/DET |
3 |
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QB |
Romo/DAL |
3 |
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RB |
Gore/SF |
0 |
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RB |
McGahee/DEN |
6 |
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RB |
Rice/BAL |
6 |
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RB |
Turner/ATL |
0 |
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RB |
Ingram/NO |
6 |
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RB |
Lynch/SEA |
12 |
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RB |
Barber/CHI |
0 |
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RB |
Bush/OAK |
0 |
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WR |
Hernandez/NE |
0 |
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WR |
Smith/CAR |
0 |
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WR |
Jackson/PHI |
0 |
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WR |
Wallace/PIT |
6 |
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WR |
Nelson/GB |
0 |
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WR |
Boldin/BAL |
0 |
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WR |
Jones/GB |
0 |
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WR |
Bess/MIA |
3 |
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WR |
Moore/OAK |
0 |
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WR |
Johnson/NE |
0 |
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WR |
Witten/DAL |
0 |
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WR |
Green/CIN |
3 |
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PK |
Hanson/DET |
5 |
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PK |
Gould/CHI |
3 |
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PK |
Akers/SF |
14 |
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PK |
Prater/DEN |
9 |
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DF |
New England |
0 |
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DF |
Baltimore |
12 |
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DF |
Philadelphia |
0 |
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DF |
Tennessee |
0 |
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TOTAL |
17 |
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TOTAL |
36 |
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TOTAL |
23 |
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TOTAL |
24 |
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THE BDFL SCOREBOARD |
WEEK #13 |
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ww |
PowerSleds |
17 |
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EL |
WWarriors |
24 |
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Grenadiers |
11 |
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ww |
Juggernauts |
37 |
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EL |
Woosiers (-3.5) |
23 |
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ww |
Gamblers (-2.5) |
23 |
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ww |
Wizards (P) |
36 |
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EL |
Cheetahs (-3.5) |
43 |
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Fightin' Slovaks |
13 |
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EL |
Mayors |
23 |
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Blitz |
14 |
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ww |
Bullets (-5.5) |
37 |
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ww |
Dogs (-1.5) |
21 |
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ww |
Sloth Monsters (-4.5) |
35 |
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Week #13 Totals |
Pts |
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Comments |
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Weekly Rewards |
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Cheetahs |
43 |
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The Sin Wagon is rocking on all four wooden wheels |
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The Big Daddy |
14 |
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Juggernauts |
37 |
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Nice week in the point column, but Naut enough to win in the
BDFL |
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Woosiers - PK - Akers/SF |
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Bullets |
37 |
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Bullet pistol whips his Slavish kinsman like he was an Ole Miss |
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The Top Dog |
43 |
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Wizards |
36 |
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Wizards wax the Duds in a battle for Big Mullet Series (BMS)
seeding |
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Cheetahs |
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Sloth Monsters |
35 |
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The Sloths have awakened and show signs of getting off the couch |
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The Toilet Seat |
11 |
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Wooden Warriors |
24 |
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Kawliga edges the Dixie Mafia in what could lead to a rematch
later |
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Grenadiers |
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Mayors |
23 |
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Mayors are like an old pitiful politician that continues to get
elected |
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The Bonehead |
-12 |
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Gamblers |
23 |
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The Gambino Family may have peaked too soon on the bingo rush |
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Grenadiers - Pittsburgh "D" |
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Woosiers |
23 |
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Woosiers like Hoosiers except for a W. Smoke like a smoke chain |
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Dogs |
21 |
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Car chasers chase all day, but in the end get run over by the
Woosier |
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Week 14 Match-Ups/Lines |
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PowerSleds |
17 |
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Sleds bring Dolodome power to Blount Co. where there is no fence |
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JUG @ BUL (-4.5) |
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Blitz |
14 |
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Has anybody seen the Red Baron, we think he is AWOL or MIA |
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WOO (-6.5) @ BLZ |
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Fightin' Slovaks |
13 |
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The Slovaks live to be whipped again |
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GAM (-5.5) @ DOG |
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Grenadiers |
11 |
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Read the comments from WARTS below. It has been a long year yet |
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WIZ @ SM (-3.5) |
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WW (-7.5) @ FS |
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* Where to start
with the Grenadiers "Bonehead" Award. Left on the bench - QB-9
pts,. RB-9 pts., PK-10 pts., |
PS (-8.5) @ GRE |
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"D" - 12 pts. = 40 points left on the bench! |
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CHE (-2.5) @ MAY |
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Weekly Power Ranking |
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ww |
Wizardz Winnerz |
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3 |
54 |
Mailing it in |
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OPEN: ALL TEAMS PLAYING |
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Red Neck Division |
134 |
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EL |
ELVO |
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4 |
37 |
Edging back |
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