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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2013 |
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Pucker Factor Pressure The Null Set Club leads the fray into the 2013 BDCS. Can one rise to the top and capture the coveted Grand Daddy? MEDIA VOID - The Brookside Dogs were facing a Richter Scale type, Everest-type, scenario in the last weekend of the regular season. The Mutts had to take on the #1 seeded Gulf Coast Gamblers, and win, in order to qualify for the Big Dance. At 6-7, the Dogs were backed against a wall (see Bullet Rule). Luckily, that wall was in “Goose Alley” in the confines of the Brookside City Limits, hard by the banks of the winding Five Mile Creek. Mark’s Mutts came out firing with sawed-off shotguns, bricks, and old-fashioned Coke bottles. They grabbed anything and everything they could to throw at the Dixie Mafia. And, it paid off with a crucial vict’ry, putting the Dogs in the BDCS as the #7 seed. The Gamblers are comfortably in the Big Dance as the aforementioned #1 seed (but there is no evidence they “tanked it” in Week 14). |
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The Bulletin originates from underneath a rock in Media Void |
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PowerSleds Use A.W. to Advance to BDCS: Staring down the barrel of the “Bullet Rule” with a record of 6-7 going into the final weekend of the BDFL regular season, the Fairfield PowerSleds needed a vict’ry over their rival Western Hills Wildcats in order to advance to the Big Daddy Championship Series (and at the same time - obviously - avoid the Big Mullet Series). This match-up of former college roommates looked to be even “on paper” with the BioCats favored by 4.5-points at home at Fair Park, near Five Points West. However, the Mean Machine was “flying high and feeling mean,” from the opening kickoff in this game, and they completely destroyed the “James Gang” with a big-mongous, gi-normous, A.W. The final score on the BIR scoreboard read: PowerSleds 42 - Wildcats 15. Mad Jack gets to 7-7 on the season, and will be the #5 seed in the BDCS. The Wildcats are comfortably in too, as the #2 seed (but there is no evidence they “tanked it” in Week 14).
Who Choked in Week 14 and Lost a Chance at the Big Dance?
Woosiers Gag Under Pucker Factor Pressure: Tommy T.’s Team entered the final week with plenty of points, but needing a vict’ry to pull over the Bullet Rule. But, alas… it was not to be. The Smoke Rise Woosiers were heavy favorites (6.5-points according to ELVO) at home against the Magic City Mayors, who have been relegated for weeks to the Big Mullet Series. And, now, the Woo Crew will join them there. The Woosiers gagged under the pressure of the Pucker Factor in Week 14. They were outscored by the Cronies, 33-25. Now, the Woo Crew will enjoy Top Seeding in the BMS.
Armadillos Choke Against Sloths: The Duncanville Armadillos and the Riverchase Cheetahs each finished the regular season with 324-total points. The Cheetahs are going to the BDCS as the 8th seed. The Commissioner and WARTS did NOT have to research “tie-breaking” procedures, because the ‘Dillos did not qualify under the dreaded Bullet Rule. K.P.’s “opossums on the half-shell,” were shell-shocked in the final weekend of the regular season by the Sloth Monsters, losing 28-16, and dropping to 6-8 on the season. That’s a losing record and that gets you in the Big Mullet Series. The Armed Armada was a long shot to make the Big Dance, but losing to Mukes in the last weekend has to be a bitter (worm) pill to swallow for old Prewitt. By the way, the Three Toed Tree Dwellers are in the Mullet too (but quite comfortable along the Gulf Coast).
Cheetahs (Like Everyone) Benefits from Playing Slovaks: As mentioned above, the Cheetahs are in the Big Dance. The Sin Wagon rolled over the Fighting Slovaks in Week 14 by the final score of 21-4. Yep, just when you thought the Slovaks were not THAT bad, they get whipped by 17. ASlo’s paltry four-points earns him yet another “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award. The EuroTrash Talkers will be the next-to-last seed in the BMS, after a lone appearance in the top bracket last year.
Woodies Top Nauts in Battle of BDCS-bound Teams: Jaimie will be the third seed and Allyson will be the fourth seed when the BDCS begins. The two teams squared-off in Week 14 at Ed Bruce Field at Rocket Stadium. Both teams were comfortably in the Big Dance before the game, and just tried to get through the game without any injuries. The Wooden Warriors beat the Jugtown Juggernauts, 36-20.
Blitz Wins on Way to Big Dance - While Wizards Wilt to BMS: The Druid City Blitz will get a chance to battle for their first BDFL Championship, after a successful season. Jerry Fritz’ “Grits Blitz” will be the #6 seed in the BDCS. The “host with the most” tuned up for the post-season with a rather mundane win over the Pasco County Wizards, 25-15. As for the Pixie Dusters, they had a remarkable season of actually winning games (mainly because of the schedule-maker). However, Parks’ team is the only one with a winning record that did not have enough Total Points to make the Big Dance.
Elder Hand Brothers Bound for Big Mullet: Chris Hand beat Bullet Hand 34-22 in the final week of the regular season. The Bullets were horrible this year, and will carry the dead last seed into the BMS. Meanwhile, the Commissioner got hosed by the Schedule-Maker. The Mineral Springs Grenadiers had plenty of points in 2013, but did not win enough games to finish above .500 and break the cerebral bonds of the Bullet Rule. Therefore, Bullet Hand and his 1997 Capital City Bullets remain the only team to win the BDFL Championship with a losing record. “Thank you very much country music lovers, and the rest of you sumbitches.”
In case you missed it… Wildcats, Nauts, Blitz, and Dogs (half the field in the BDCS) are representatives of the Null Set Club, having never won a BDFL Title. The question is: Can one rise to the top this season and capture a championship? |
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