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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2013 |
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The Promised Land Deprived and supressed for centuries the Fightin' Slovaks get some government help to slip past the dreadful Sleds MEDIA VOID - Speaking of the only team in the BDFL that has already been mathematically eliminated from the BDCS – the F’ing Slovaks – have finally won a game. ASlo’s slow-pokes came up with a dramatic one-point win over the excessively embarrassed Fairfield PowerSleds, 18-17, in Week Nine action in the BDFL. Mad Jack is still “throwing the red flag” trying to get a review of Sunday’s activities that saw his Mean Machine become the first team in 2013 to lose to the F’ing Slovaks. In fact, upon review (of the post game quotes), the Bulletin heard a new nickname for the EuroTrash Talkers, thanks to Mad. “F’ing Slovaks,” said Jack. “I can’t believe I lost to the F’ing Slovaks.” Whether he meant “fighting” is up for interpretation. |
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The Bulletin originates from underneath a rock in Media Void |
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Blitz Shuts Out Sloths: That is no misprint in the sub-title, headline above. It is not a mistake. The Druid City Blitz scored 44-points in Week Nine and the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters scored ZERO. That’s a double A.W. The “Host with the Most” (Jerome Fritz) put up Tommy Todd, Hank Aaron, Jake Peavy (all #44) numbers on the Three Toed Tree Dwellers, who apparently took the weekend off. In 2013, the Fritz Blitz look like real contenders in the BDFL, while Mukes will have to get some Jack Daniels, some Crown, find Albert, and go back to the proverbial drawing board. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, Mukes takes home the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award in Week Nine, and even draws a cyber-email quote from the “usually non-partisan WARTS.”
Quote from WARTS: For only the second time ever (that I can remember) we have a "GOOSE EGG"! With 9 total points left on the bench, the Sloth Monsters managed to stumble upon the most heinous of all snafu's, ZERO POINTS! Although the Mayors tried their best to equal the dastardly task.
Mayors Lay Down and Wallow Against Wizards: Well, we’ll address the Mayors now, since WARTS ‘called them out’ for their horrific performance this past Sunday (got to love the “dastardly” tag). Yeah, the Cronies were sucking hind tit on a boar hog this weekend. They stunk it up big time in an all-expenses-paid trip to Tampa Town on the taxpayers. A.A.’s team scored only 3-points and lost to the Pasco County Wizards, who only scored 6. What a stinker of a game. Amazingly, the Wizards have the BDFL’s best record at 8-1 on the season. It seems Parks’ chickening-out of the prognostication game is paying dividends with his woebegone franchise this season (either that or he is really giving some serious kick-backs to the schedule-maker).
Woodies Whip Dogs: Poor Old Kawliga may have never got a kiss. And, poor Old Kawliga may have never known what he missed. And, it might not have ever been a question of why his face was so red. And, it’s a fact that he was (and is) a poor, old, wooden head. However, none of that seems to matter when he has to go to Brookside and face the Dogs. The old, Wooden Warrior himself flew past Mark’s Mutts in Week Nine, like Jonathan Carroll going down “the hill” and Main Street on skates with his hair blowing back in the wind. Kawliga & Company knocked Dog for a loop this weekend, like they were hitting Terry Tarence with an old fashioned 12-ounce Coke bottle. Mark Burr was so embarrassed by the 41-22 whipping that he suffered at the hands of the Woodies, that he had to hide under the bridge like Dodie Goode.
Nauts Undress Cheetahs, 36-33: Or should that be “outscore,” the Jugtown Juggernauts “outscored” the Riverchase Cheetahs 36-33 in a wild, wild shoot-out at Ed Bruce Field at Rocket Stadium in Gardendale on Sunday. The Cheetahs, who lead the Grey Beard Division, fell to 6-3 on the season, and the surging ‘Nauts improved to 6-3 on the season setting up an unprecedented 4-way tie for the best record in the Yellow Hammer Division with A.E., Dog, Jerome James, and Jerome Fritz all at 6-3 on the season. [Well, that sounded good, but upon further review (see below) the Wildcats actually won this weekend, so they are 7-2 on the season, and it first place “all by themselves” in the YHD. Sorry.]
Woo Crew Guns Down Grenadiers: Tommy T’s “Smoke Riders in the Sky” shot down the Commissioner’s beloved Mineral Springs Grenadiers by a touchdown in Week Nine, 34-27. The loss is very damaging for the Gut Grenades, because it drops their record to 2-7 on the season, and puts them just one loss away from being eliminated from any chance of making it into the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS).
Wildcats Upend Armadillos: Have you ever seen a dead armadillo not upended? I guess the weight of the shell makes ‘em flip over upon their ultimate demise. Well, the Duncanville brand of “opossum on the half shell,” bit the dust this Sunday, losing to the BioCats, who continue to hold onto first place in the Yellow Hammer Division. Jerome James has his BioCats clicking on all bunson burners in 2013.
Bullets Beat Gamblers Worse Than the Score Indicated: The Dixie Mafia might hold some sway along the Gulf Coast, but don’t bring that Chinese martial arts, Tae Kwon Doe, Ju Jitsu, Karate crap to the real “Heart of Dixie” boy. Final Score from Rebel Stadium in Hayneville: Bullets a lot, Gamblers not much (and it wasn’t even that close).
In case you missed it… Bullet’s close-personal-friend, Jake Peavy, actually purchased the Duck Boat that he and John Lester rode in the “Red Sox Rally” parade in Boston on Saturday. No word yet on when it’ll get put in the Alabama River. |
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