 |
|||||||||||||||
|
TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2013 |
|||||||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|
|
The Slavs and Bombs 0-10 The Fightin' Slovaks and the Grenadiers have yet to win one game in ten tries. Is this a coincidence or not? MEDIA VOID - It has become a familiar theme this season with THE BULLETIN to bash the winless, so why stop now? Eight weeks after the Miller Genuine Draft, and five weeks into the BDFL season, the Oak Mountain Fighting Slovaks are still winless and wit-less. The question is: Is anyone surprised? The ASlo’s (rhymes with A-holes) tried their luck with a “bunch of girls” this weekend, and still could not manage a vict’ry. Even though the EuroTrash Talkers managed to scores a respectable 22-points in Week 5, they were denied a win by what is looking more-and-more like a pretty good Jugtown Juggernauts team. A.E. has the ‘Nauts flying so far in 2013. This is so bad that the celebrities are getting in on it. From Vanilla Ice... "As one white rapper to another, you suck brother". From Chuck Bronson...I've been to two World's Fairs and one goat $%%#$, but I've never seen anything like this." |
|||||||||||||
|
The Bulletin originates from underneath a rock in Media Void |
|||||||||||||||
|
Still Winless: Part 2 Thus far in 2013, the Commissioner also finds his team winless. The Mineral Springs Grenadiers managed only two touchdowns and were shot down by the defending champions in Week 5, 24-14, in the latest edition of the “Brother Bowl.” The Black Creek Wooden Warriors – unlike last season – are off to a roaring start this year, thanks to a good “Draft Night” where they were safely insulated from the “James Gang” and “ASlo.” Old Iron, who was visibly shaken by the events of “Draft Night,” even to the point of dropping the F-Bomb, must now find away to rescue his team from the ranks of the winless.
Armadillos Take Toilet Seat after Blitz Beating: After a surprising and delightful Rookie Year in the BDFL, The Duncanville Armadillos are suffering the consequences of the “Sophomore Slump” in 2013. You can only “go ugly early” so many times and live to tell about it. It was “so ugly” (U-G-L-Y) for the ‘Dillos in Week 5 that it is really hard to put into words. But, since that’s where THE BULLETIN makes the big bucks, we’ll make an attempt. The Druid City Blitz completely bottled-up the Texas Two-Steppers this weekend, and held KP & Company to single digits (8-points). Fritz’ Gritz Blitz are looking like contenders early this season. Meanwhile, the Armadillos capture the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award with another miserable loss.
Wildcats Whip (AW) Woosiers: Just two-points from escaping the “Toilet Seat,” the Smoke Rise Woosiers were – nevertheless – given a rambunctious A.W. by the Western Hills Wildcats this Sunday over at Five Points (that’s Five Points West, not Five Points South, where “A.W.” may have a different meaning). The Woo Crew managed just 10-points against the vastly under-rated defense of the “James Gang.” The BioCats now have a defense that their “four-wide-out, spread-no-huddle offense” can be proud of, and back-to-back A.W.’s on the young season. Meanwhile, it was a long ride back to Blount County for the Woosiers, who could not sit down for obvious reasons.
Another A.W. Sees Sloth Monsters Slaughter Bullets: “I’m going to blame the schedule-maker for this one,” said Bullet. “Because, if we would have played the Woosiers (10-points) or the Armadillos (8-points), we would have won.” At least the Bullerino had found a way to rationalize his worst start ever in the BDFL. Thanks to the Slovaks, the Benton Bullets have one win, but they appear to be miles away from getting another one (unless – of course – they get some assistance from the schedule-maker). This past Sunday, the Bullets were run out of Silver Lakes by the Sloth Monsters, 46-12, and the game was exactly as close as the score indicated. The Three Toed Tree Dwellers came out with a vengeance after suffering an A.W. themselves the previous weekend.
Cheetahs Double-Up PowerSleds, 36-18: Mad Jack Barnes knew it was a bad idea to venture into Sammy’s this weekend. But, just like all of us at one time or another, you have to make an appearance there for a bachelor party, or social outing to cheer up a friend, or if the schedule-maker deems that it is “just your time.” The PowerSleds did not “have their hearts in it,” and the Sin Wagon rolled them up like wholesale carpet.
Mayors Get Much-Needed Win over Dixie Mafia: The Magic City Mayors took their act on the road this weekend, and came up big on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. The Cronies out-scored the Dixie Mafia 33-30 in a back-and-forth game at The Grand. Where the Mayors got a stake to start is still up for investigation, but the fact remains that they were able to turn a “small ante” into big winnings against the Gamblers on the Gamblers’ “home turf.”
Wizards Edge Dogs in OT: Mark Burr, a.k.a. The Super Banker, a.k.a. The Latex Salesman, a.k.a. Art Van Delay is livid. He’s working on his “Master Plan” to end an 18-year-losing-streak in the BDFL, and his scheme was derailed in Week 5 by what he is calling a “vast conspiracy.” Dog is blaming the refs, the replay-officials, WARTS, and the Commissioner for his 29-29, overtime, “Loss,” this past weekend at home at Brookside Ballpark. Of course, Mark’s Mutts do not have a (hind) leg to stand on in their vociferous complaints. They lost fair-and-square to the Pasco County Wizards, who’s previous reconnaissance along the banks of the Five Mile Creek (at previous Slovak Family 4th of July BBQs) paid huge dividends in helping them “escape” with a win.
In case you missed it… and, we did… The ‘Nauts hosted quite another comfortable “Cousins on the Quad” this past Saturday in T-Town for Homecoming. We hate we missed it. The Commissioner’s daughter Coley Hand did not win Homecoming Queen, however, she was an integral part of the Tri-Delt float which garnered numerous honors. |
|||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||||||
