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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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The Bulletin - Week 14 From underneath a rock in Media Void
Week 14 - Upside-Down Plaza Playoffs Are Set
You want to see an upside-down Big Daddy Championship Series? You got it in 2012. This season’s version of the BDCS, “The Big Dance,” does NOT feature the 4-time Champion Cheetahs. But, that’s NOT the only BDFL traditional power that is staying home for the playoffs – or actually – going to Gulf Shores for the Big Mullet Series. Two-time, former BDFL Champions: Benton Bullets, Gulf Coast Gamblers, and Pasco County Wizards are NOT advancing to the BDCS. In their place in this “upside-down” world – this “Bizarro World” of the 2012 post-season – are upstarts like the rookies – the Duncanville Armadillos; the perennial doormats – the Oak Mountain Fighting Slovaks; and Null Set Club members – Jugtown Juggernauts, Western Hills Wildcats, and the Black Creek Wooden Warriors. It looks like a “free-for-all” this season for the most elusive trophy in Fantasy Football, The Grand Daddy.
“Never-Ever-Say-Die” Wooden Warriors Win 7th Straight – Advance to BDCS: After a horrible, terrible, 0-7 start, the Black Creek Wooden Warriors went on the warpath. Old Kawliga & Company would “not go quietly” to that gentle reservation known as the Big Mullet Series without a fight. And, what a fight it has been, rivaling anything that happened previously at Horse Bend or Little Big Horn or Ticonderoga or Natchez. The Woodies have been scalping BDFL opponents left and right for the last six weeks. In Week 14, the Tribe tomahawked the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters, 29-5, for a big, ole A.W. With the vict’ry – Bochephus’ 7th straight – the Woodies advance to the Big Daddy Championship Series. Mukes’ Three Toed Tree Dwellers are OUT of the Big Dance after choking in the final week of the regular season with a single-digit score, a big A.W. loss, and a trip to the BMS with Week 14’s “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award in tow to the Gulf Coast.
Bullets Notch 4th Straight Win, but Fall Short of BDCS: As mentioned previously, the Benton Bullets and the Riverchase Cheetahs are NOT going to the BDCS. It was a longshot going into the final week of the regular season for the Bullets, and they responded with a big win over the Sin Wagon. It was Bullet's 4th straight vict’ry, bringing his record to 9-5 on the season, comfortably above the “Bullet Rule.” However, the old Bullerino’s inability – or refusal – to “run up the score,” came back to haunt him in the Point Total category. On the other hand, the Cheetahs were completely “done-in” by the Bullet Rule. Butch’s world-traveling, Sin Wagon, finished 2nd overall in total points this season in the BDFL, but they simply did not win enough games. So, Butch and Bullet will head to the Gulf Coast (where they’ve already rendezvoused once this season) for the BMS.
Another Hand – Another Win as Gut Grenades Blow Out Slovaks: All the Hand Brothers got big wins in Week 14. The elder Hand Brother (Chris) opened up a can of industrial-size, whoop-@$$, in the NaPalm concealed, 55-gallon drum, with ACME stenciled on the side – and dropped it right on top of Oak Mountain. The explosions were still occurring on Monday Night, when Tom “Shady” Brady lit up the night sky (and the Houston Texans), leading the Mineral Springs Grenadiers to a humongous A.W. over the Fightin' Slovaks. The smoke still hasn’t cleared from this one yet. But, the Commissioner got the points he needed – overcoming Pucker Factor odds – to advance to the Big Dance. As for the EuroTrash Talkers, they’ll also be in the BDCS after a wonderful first-half of the season, but they are hurting as the post-season looms.
Duncanville Armadillos 40 – Pasco County Wizards 39: Kurt Prewitt: the “Rookie of the Year” and the “Big Daddy of the Year” finished the regular season with a one-point win over the woeful Wizards. Stellar: the Duncanville Armadillos completed their inaugural season in the BDFL with the League’s highest point total, and will enter the BDCS as the Number One Seed. In Demand: Nic Hand (who drafted for the ‘Dillos at the MGD in Vestavia in August) is high on a number of franchise’s holiday “wish list” (for 2013) this Christmas season. Awful: the Wizards may have NOT laid down in Week 14, scoring 39-points in a losing effort, but the only words that describe Merlin’s efforts this season have to be: sorry, pitiful, awful, humiliating, and just plain “turrible.”
In Ex-Roomate Battle: PowerSleds Edge Wildcats 18-15: The “James Gang’s” return to the BDFL after a one-year hiatus has to be labeled a “success.” Just don’t tell that to ex-roommate, “Mad” Jack Barnes. Jack’s Mean Machine cut the Western Hills Wildcats down-to-size (if that’s possible) in Week 14. Both teams entered the final weekend of the regular season as virtual “locks” for the Big Dance. And, while the BioCats kicked-back and rested on their laurels, the Fairfield PowerSleds took aim, and shot down the “James Gang” 18-15, to ready themselves for the post-season, where they will try to defend their 2011 BDFL title.
Mullet Preview: Woosiers Embarrass Dogs with AW: The proud and tenacious Smoke Rise Woosiers fell victim to the dreaded “Bullet Rule” in 2012. The Woo Crew did not make the Big Dance. However, on the last weekend of the regular season, the Woosiers made sure that the Brookside Dogs would share their fate in the post-season. That’s right; Tommy T took care of Mark’s Mutts in Week 14, with an A.W. (38-12) that sent the Dogs to the Mullet Series, right alongside the Woosiers. “Misery Loves Company,” read one of the many signs that the Woo Crew held high upon leaving the banks of the Five Mile Creek on Sunday. So, not only do the Woosiers get the win, but they help send the Dogs to the BMS, and extend Mark Burr’s BDFL losing streak to 18-years – or the entire duration – of football’s longest running, most-successful, Fantasy League.
Gamblers Turn Back the Nauts: The Gulf Coast Gamblers and the Jugtown Juggernauts were heading in opposite directions as the 2012 regular season drew to a close Monday Night. The Gamblers will be the proverbial “home for the holidays” this season in the Mullet Tournament right there in Gulf Shores, at the FloraBama, right there on the beach on the Alabama-Florida line. The Nauts – on the other hand – will be in the BDCS, albeit with the 8th and final seed. But, for Allyson, just making the Big Dance is a big accomplishment. The Rice Rockets may have “rested” some folks in Week 14, making possible a Dixie Mafia upset that the “bookies” didn’t see coming. Now, good luck to the Nauts as they’ll face the Top Seeded Armadillos in Round One of the Big Dance.
Mayors Bury Blitz 33-26: Mayors (Miller Genuine Draft) and Blitz (Super Bowl Gala) - The gracious “hosts of the BDFL” met in Week 14, and you guessed it, they were nice to each other with “hors d’oeuvres,” snacks, appetizers, chips, treats, wine, cheese, and even Tea & Crumpets. After the ice-breakers and pleasantries, there was a BDFL game to be played. And, the Mayors (en route to the BDCS) upended the Blitz (en route to the BMS) by six, 33-26.
Quote of the week: “It’s a tremendous challenge, and a tremendous opportunity,” said Mike DuBose (about practically everything).
The figurative Grand Daddy Award this week goes to the WARTS: For yet another year, WARTS (and its creator – Tommy Todd) has done an unbelievable job with, well… Everything. Here’s everything: scores, starters, records, point totals, stats, stats, and more stats, Pucker Factor charts, and brackets for the Big Daddy Championship Series and the Big Mullet Series. Hat’s off to WARTS for a sensational season. We appreciate all you do for the BDFL. |
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