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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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The Bulletin - Week 13 From underneath a rock in Media Void
Week 13 - Lucky 13
“Never-Say-Die” Wooden Warriors Win 6th Straight: After a horrible, 0-7 start, the Black Creek Wooden Warriors went on the warpath. Old Kawliga & Company would “not go quietly” to that reservation known as the Big Mullet Series without a fight. And, what a fight it has been, rivaling anything that happened previously at Horse Bend or Little Big Horn. The Woodies have been scalping BDFL opponents left and right. In Week 13, the Tribe tomahawked the Brookside Dogs with a big, old, A.W., 56-15. Mark’s Mutts never stood a chance, after returning late from Atlanta (SEC Championship Game) with fellow BDFLers: Allyson, Butch, and Mad Jack. The Dogs put up basically “no fight,” in getting taken to the proverbial woodshed. Now, the Woodies need only one win to advance past the “Bullet Rule,” and potentially make it to the Big Daddy Championship Series.
The figurative Grand Daddy Award this week goes to the Wooden Warriors: For six-straight wins, the Woodies get a glimpse of what can be with another win.
Bullets Pound the Pixie Dusters with ACME Wet Sand: The Benton Bullets – the winningest team in BDFL hist’ry – just continue to put up “W’s,” and in the case of Week 13 action… “A.W.’s.” Bullerino advanced his record to an impressive 8-5 on the 2012 season, with a shellacking of the Pasco County Wizards, 36-8. It was an A.W. from start to finish, as the Bullets jumped on Merlin early and often and never let up. The Pixie Dusters are so bad this year (kinda like their alma mater) that it’s really not that much fun to beat ‘em anymore. However, the Bullets will take the vict’ry (in A.W. fashion), and try to go out and score a ton of points in Week 14 in order to make the BDCS (which is a long shot).
PowerSleds Put Ajax-Like A.W. on Gut Grenades: In the third A.W. of the week, the Fairfield PowerSleds “cranked up the volume” on the Commissioner. The defending BDFL Champions pummeled the Mineral Springs Grenadiers, 48-16, in a rollicking, rolling, DoloDome on Sunday. The Gut Grenades had no answer for the “Mean Machine’s” powerful running game and elusive, scrambling, quarterback, Paul “Wrecking” Crew (Burt Reynolds). After the game, Crew and Mad Jack refused to answer questions from the media in protest of the re-make, the second, “The Longest Yard” with Adam Sandler and Chris Rock. “You shouldn’t mess with the classics,” said Mad. “Pretty soon they’ll be ruining ‘Red Dawn’ and ‘Stroker Ace’ by making re-makes.” Meanwhile, the Grenadiers may be on the “outside looking in,” on the BDCS, unless some things fall their way in the final weekend of the regular season.
Duncanville Armadillos Slip Past the Jugtown Juggernauts: The “Rookie of the Year” and the “Big Daddy of the Year” is likely to be “one-in-the-same” in 2012 in the BDFL. Kurt Prewitt’s Duncanville Armadillos continue to impress this season with high-point totals and win after win after win. In Week 13, the Road Killers took care of the Jugtown Juggernauts at Rocket Stadium by five, 25-20. KP has had a stellar first-season in Fantasy Football action, and the draft list he gave Nic Hand prior to the MGD may go straight to Canton when the season is over (provided it actually exists and can be found).
Wildcats 29 – Woosiers 22: The “James Gang’s” return to the BDFL after a one-year hiatus (suspension, retirement, resignation, etc.) has been nothing short of remarkable. The Western Hills Wildcats have certainly played above their heads this year (which is necessary for them against everybody in the league, except Dog, KP, and ASlo – but, the Bulletin is NOT saying that anyone is “short”). What the Bulletin is saying is that the BioCats have exceeded expectations in 2012. The “James Gang” has won a lot of games, and put up a lot of points, which is a great combination if you want to compete for the Grand Daddy (the greatest trophy in fantasy football). This past weekend, the BioCats notched another win, by subduing the Woo Crew. And, while Tommy T. continues to crank out a very professional, and timely WARTS each week, his Smoke Rise Woosiers have been dismal this year, and will land in the Big Mullet Series.
Mullet Preview: Blitz Beats Cheetahs: The Druid City Blitz got another win in Week 13, by derailing the Sin Wagon by 33-17. Vict’ries have been few-and-far-between for the “host with the most” this season, but they have now won two-in-a-row. So, let the celebrations begin on the Yuppie Spangled streets of Old Homewood and Edgewood Blvd. Not too far down the road, on Valleydale, the mood is far more subdued as the Riverchase Cheetahs are coming to terms with not being able to play for “all the marbles,” this year. That’s right, get ready to see Butch’s felines in the Big Mullet Series. “You’re kidding me,” said Neal. “I got more points that any of those losers in the Gray Beard Division, and I’m going to the Mullet.”
Gamblers Turn Back the Clocks and the Cronies: The Gulf Coast Gamblers took a trip back through time, through hist’ry, to their first two years in the league (championship seasons) this past weekend. Kenny Breal re-lived his past with his own, personal throw-back effort against the Magic City Mayors. And, when the smoke cleared at the FloraBama, his Dixie Mafia had a meaningless win over the Cronies. “Well, it beats losing,” said Breal, who has long-since been relegated to post-season “at home” along the Gulf Coast in the Big Mullet Series. As, for the Mayors, they are a virtual lock for the BDCS.
Sloths Edge Slovaks in OT: Put it this way, there were a lot of Miller Lite cans, empty potato chip bags, and Copenhagen cans to dig through when this game was completed in Silver Lakes. Mukes and ASlo had no idea who had won. The scoreboard read: 23-23. So, they had to consult with the League Office and WARTS to find the final outcome. While this process was taking place, the Three Toed Tree Dwellers and the EuroTrash Talkers decided to “make a pact.” Neither team would proclaim vict’ry or admit defeat. After further review, WARTS and the Commissioner’s Office, and the Bulletin decided that the Sloths had won in overtime. “Yes!” proclaimed Mukes. “Yikes,” said Adam. “Yoy, yoy, yoy,” ASlo continued, and they went back to their game of pocket billards.
Quote of the week: “Yeah, we’re lucky… lucky they still let us play Division I,” said Bullet to some dude who called Bama lucky.
Notables: Coley Hand (20), Jacob Burr (11), and Jackson Barnes (7) took in their first SEC Championship Game on Saturday in Atlanta; a thrilling, come-from-behind, 32-28 vict’ry by the Crimson Tide over the Georgia Bulldogs. |
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