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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2012 |
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The Bulletin - Week 2 From underneath a rock in Media Void
Week #2 - Addressing Complaints
After Week One, The Bulletin received numerous complaints for its Corporate-Sponsorship version of weekly recaps, but most disturbingly, its omission of any “beer,” Seinfeld, or Grand Daddy references. Now, while the editorial staff of The Bulletin cannot be swayed by the masses, especially the “rank-and-file,” peanut gallery folks, we do want to hold true to the long-established, tradition-rich musings of this weekly publication. So, without further adieu, here is this week’s banter.
“Sweet Fancy Moses!” Slovaks 2-0 after A.W. of Blitz It’s one thing to take an A.W. in the BDFL. It’s another far, far worse embarrassment to take one from the Fightin’ Slovaks. That is the humiliation that the “other Jerry” is facing this week, as his Druid City Blitz was taken to the woodshed by the EuroTrash Talkers. This one was never close. ASlo rolled up an Alabama-like, 52-points in route to a huge rout of the Fritz Blitz in the Slovaks home opener in Oak Mountain. And, they’re still dancin’ in Oak Mountain, Brookside, Minor, and Bratislava over this one and feasting on kielbasa, sausage, pyjothy, and nut roll… and a good deal of pivo. The Bulletin (and the Elias Sports Bureau) can find no statistics of the Slovaks ever being 2-0 in the BDFL. So… yoy, yoy, yoy!
The “Slovak Second” Sponsored by ALFA This is just supposed to take a second. It’s the newly sponsored “Slovak Second.” (The Bulletin just couldn’t turn down the ad revenue in these tough economic times. And, apparently ALFA will try anything to try and pull even with Geico, Progressive, and State Farm.) So, in this new weekly feature, The Bulletin is providing one second for the Slovaks to speak out. (And we’re making a bundle.) Hopefully, this will also cut down on their rhetoric elsewhere. So, Lady and Gentlemen, the “Slovak Second:” “Ask the Blitz what an A.W. is. Somebody get Jerry Fritz a white towel to wave,” said ASlo.
Mayors Shock Wizards in Alabama Power Game of the Week: The Cronies went to the polls on Tuesday, in an effort to get some secret funds from some big trust fund to keep the status quo going in the Magic City. The Mayors went with a big smile on their faces, after getting off to a 2-0 start in the BDFL. In Week Two, the Cronies “out-spent” the frugal Heathsouth Wizards and came away with an 8-point win (38-30) at the Old Gray Lady off Greymont Avenue.
Wildcats UP – Armadillos DOWN in Kone Up-and-Down Elevator Game: The “James Gang” has “re-booted” its BDFL career with a bang. The old familiar BioCats moved to 2-0 on the young season with a see-saw, up-and-down, back-and-forth game in Week Two out in Jerry World in Arlington, Texas. The Cats scratched and clawed their way to vict’ry against the expansion Duncanville Armadillos in their Lone Star, Texas-sized home opener at Cowboys Stadium. Despite their best effort, Prewitt’s band of cast-offs, and lower tier draft choices, were ultimately 5-points short of vict’ry (not that the Bulletin is calling Prewitt short… “Short, who said that?”)
Nauts Capture Jug Town Jubilee Match-up (sponsored by Honda): The Silver Lakes Sloths Monsters agreed to ‘move’ their “home game” to Gardendale’s Ed Bruce Stadium, not for more revenue, but because Mukes was going by Mike’s Handy Mart and to pick up Albert this weekend, and they just thought it would be closer. The strategy – if you could call it that – back-fired when the home-standing, bra-burning, plaque-presenting, grand-standing ‘Nauts held firm (atop the Army worms) on what is their home field (not to be confused with “Home Field” Package Store in Fultondale… where you can get hard liquor). Long story short – too late – the ‘Nauts dropped the Three Toed Tree Dwellers like they were the ones without plausible thumbs.
Cheetahs Drop Woosiers to 0-2 in Dizzy Dean Day at Sammys: What can only be described as a “mutiny” may be taking place in Hayden. It seems there are rumblings and secret votes going on just outside of Smoke Rise, to return the summer, youth baseball league in Hayden to Dixie Youth, or Little League, or Babe Ruth. Parents are unhappy with Dizzy Dean, saying the league officials spend too much time with other endeavors (read BDFL, WARTS, etc). With all the grumblings the Woo Crew took an official visit (sponsored by the league – no less – Dizzy Dean, and not the BDFL) to Sammy’s this weekend. The Woosiers got the R&R they were looking for, but lost a BDFL game to the Riverchase Cheetahs in the process.
CTSN Game of the Week – Features Iron Edging Dogs: You know how the old saying goes, “the only thing that separates Brookside from Mineral Springs is Dog Town.” (If you don’t believe The Bulletin, just put those coordinates in your GPS, and see for yourself.) You’ll notice that Republic and Coalburg are a little to the south, Jew Hollow to the east, and Crocker Junction to the north. But, enough about “running through the woods” geography; in Week Two of the BDFL season, the Commissioner and his Mineral Springs Grenadiers got in the last laugh this weekend as they impounded the Dogs in a game that was much closer than the score would indicate. Actually, upon further review, it was exactly what the score indicated.
Gamblers Notch Win over Powersleds: This was supposed to be the Synaflex “That’s a stretch” game this week. But, the check never arrived at the HQ of the Bulletin. So, without sponsorship, “The Bulletin” will just report the facts (as always). In a heated match-up just outside the hot furnaces of Fairfield’s Southern Electric Steel, the Gamblers edged the Powersleds by two, 20-18.
Brothers Battle in (MNF) Children’s Hospital’s Ankle-Sprain Showdown: The non-front office Hand Brothers played all nice this week with a trade early in the week and a birthday gathering in Fieldstown on Saturday, before all hell broke loose on Sunday. Actually, both of the Hand Brothers were trying to give this one away on Sunday. And their point totals were so low before Monday Night, that it looked like one of them was a lock for the weekly Toilet Seat Award. However, both scored big on Monday Night. The Wooden Warriors trailed 14-11 starting the night, but got a quick TD from Michael “The Burner” Turner and two TDs from WRs to take a nine-point lead (23-14). With Peyton throwing INTs like Kyle Frazier… the Broncos turned to the ground game. And, even though they lost, “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis (McGahee)” scored a pair of 2nd-half TDs to propel the Benton Bullets to a come-from-behind, gut-wrenching, 26-23, vict’ry. The Bullets are now 1-1, while Hime drops to 0-2.
The Little – or weekly – Grand Daddy Award: Paying homage to the hardware of champions: The Benton Bullets get the recognition this week for two, second-half, TDs on MNF to pull out a vict’ry.
Quote of the week: “I’m only following one team this year,” said Susan Hand (referring to jumping off the band wagon with her 1-2 alma mater in East Alabama, and putting all of her attention on her son’s team in Selma).
Notables: The Morgan Academy Senators (Termite Team; 3-4 grades) is off to a 2-0 start in the 2012 season with two shutouts by a combined score of 62-0. Linebacker #42 Matthew Hand has one interception and has notched several tackles this season as one of only three 3rd grade starters. Next week (Sept. 25) the Senators travel to Monroeville to take on the Monroe Academy Volunteers.
Frank Hand scored three “trys” as the Sewanee Purple Haze defeated the Alabama Crimson Tide in 7v7 rugby action this past weekend in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Hand scored again against Middle Tennessee as The Haze finished the tournament with a 2-2 record.
[Send us your notes on your younger ones, and we’ll add it to the Bulletin.] |
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