TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2012

The Bulletin - Week 1

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Week #1 - The Corporate “Sold Out” Version

With the economy being what it is, The Bulletin has “sold its soul,” this season and taken on some sponsorship (with no censorship) for the weekly recaps. So, you’ll notice a little difference this year – or maybe you won’t. Week One in the BDFL and the NFL had a number of surprises, and some trends that have been concurrent through 18-years of BDFL action. Let’s get right to it.

In the Synaflex, “That’s a Stretch” Opener: Dogs Notch Win over Wizards:

Mark Burr’s 18-year futility streak maybe coming to an end. Now, “that’s a stretch.” But the Brookside Dogs did manage a Week 1 vict’ry over the Woebegone Wizards of North Tampa Town. The Dogs, who years ago left their “Super Banker,” moniker behind to take over the (wife’s) family business, are now up to their necks in used hockey pucks and side-wall tires. Luckily a huge contract with Dow and the Saudi’s – or some deep-pockets dudes – allows “Mr. Burr” to devote more time to his Mark’s Mutts, and an opening day “W” is never overlooked, or underappreciated on the banks of the Five Mile Creek.

Wildcats Return with a Vengeance in Dizzy Dean Opening Day Extravaganza in Homewood:

“It was a banner day in Homewood,” with parades and tailgating all up and down the Yuppie-Spangled Edgewood Boulevard in Old Homewood. However, things did not end well for the home-standing Druid City Blitz. “The James Gang” is back! Jerry James returned from a one-year BDFL exile to exercise a few demons, scrap his old timey 4-wide-out spread offense, and go to an old Fairfield standard – the Power I – and mis-direction to upset “the other Jerry.” The Wildcats looked anything but “mild” in their reincarnation and put up 44-points in the first-ever Dizzy Dean Opening Day Extravaganza.

Woosiers Pounded by Sloths in the Kone Kickoff Classic:

Mukes’ll tell you, “the elevator business is up and down.” And, after a good deal of research, the Bulletin staff has concluded that Mukes’ logic (what an oxymoron) is… in the immortal, and we do mean immortal words of Spock, “sound,” in other words, logical. Ok, we got our Star Trek reference out of the way. So, Priceline has to pay us instead of Shatner this week. At any rate, Mukes’ Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters came to play in Week One. They ambushed the Smoke Rise Woosiers behind the Haystacks in Hayden to take an early lead. Then, the Three Toed Tree Dwellers held on for the vict’ry. In fact, if the math is correct, and we trust WARTS, the 21-point vict’ry gives the Sloths an official “A.W.” over the Woo Crew. Not to worry, in an “up and down” season, the Woosiers always start out slow. At least now they’ll have an elevator repairman nearby to assist them.

Mayors Electric in Alabama Power Game of the Week:

In a big surprise, the Magic City Mayors survived a trip to the Black Creek Reservation and came away with a shocking win over the Wooden Warriors. Mayor Arrington’s defense showed a lot of power, and his offense was electric leading the Old Cronies to a double-digit vict’ry over Old Bocephus. Not since Jaimie was locked in the bathroom or abandoned at Mountain View Aquatic Swim Club (MVASC) and thrown under the bus by Johnny Ball and Albert has he felt this bad.

Rookie Tops 4-Time Champion Cheetahs in Children’s Hospital Toy Bowl:

Let us get this straight, the first-year, expansion franchise, strolls into Sammy’s on a Saturday night, and rolls out Monday night – after all the NFL action is over – with an improbable come-from-behind vict’ry over the Riverchase Cheetahs.  Is that right? You can’t make that stuff up. It would be like the Cowboys going to MetLife Stadium and knocking off the Super Bowl Champion New York Football Giants. Or like a rookie QB leading the woeful Redskins over the Saints in the Mercedes Benz Superdome. But, it happened. Actually, it’s a much bigger upset than that. The Duncanville Armadillos showed they belong in the BDFL. They proved more than just road kill in their opener. Their game may have been “ugly early,” but they pulled it out in the end.

Mean Machine Tops Bullets Again in Big Daddy Bowl rematch (sponsored by Honda):

Bullet played the wrong kicker. It’s as simple as that. At press time, a Bonehead Award had not been awarded. But, the Bulletin staff has nominated the Benton Bullets, who left a kicker on the bench, who had 16-points. The one the Bullerino started had just six. The ten-points left on the sideline, sidelined the Bullets. So, the Bullets fell in Week One to the defending champion Fairfield PowerSleds, 17-16. (Salt to wound, with that score.) Mad Jack’s Mean Machine looked a little rusty in the opener, but they were just happy to get the win. “Win and advance,” said Jack, “it’s all about the process.”

ALFA Challenge Game sees Slovaks Drop Nauts:

From Cyberspace, email, tweet, a quote from ASlo reads: “Can't win them all if you don't win the first one! BOOM! The start of a dynasty!” Well, the Bulletin attempted to check and re-check the score coming in from venerable Ed Bruce Stadium in Gardendale. And, the result kept reading the same. And, history repeats itself in that the Slovensky’s have always had good fortune in the “House that Ed Built” off Mt. Olive Road… going back to the night in 1969 when Ron Slovensky booted 4-field goals to top the Rockets. The Fighting Slovaks opened BDFL action with a win over the Juggernauts, who are also trying (like the Dogs, Wooden Warriors, etc) to escape the Null Set Club this season.

CTSN Game of the Week – Features Iron Pounding B-Club:

The B-Club, as in Breal Club, took a Haitian Blue Dot, microwave beating at the Hands of the Commissioner in Week One. It was almost as big as the Packers opening day choke job at Lambeau. The Mineral Springs Grenadiers ventured down to the Gulf Coast in the Crimson Tide Sports Network “Game of the Week,” and rounded up lots of sponsors in their drubbing of the Gamblers. After staving off reports of “contraction” and getting the BDFL back up to a “full-strength” of 16-teams, the Commissioner was “feeling it” and let out an old-fashioned wood-shed whipping on the Kenny B. and his “B-Club.” Chris said, “hey, he let his kid go to Lee County… and look how that started out… serves him right.”

Quote of the week:

“It’s almost as big as Bryant-Denny Stadium,” Matthew Hand when asked about Cowboys Stadium.

Notables:

Props to Fullback Joseph James of Vestavia Hills High School and LB, #12 Nic Hand at JCCHS for high school wins this week. (Send the Bulletin your next generation BDFL football info… positions, numbers, stats, etc. and try to include it here.)

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