TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2012

The Bulletin - Week 11

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Week 11 - After a “wild” Saturday Night on the Old House back porch, everybody in the BDFL is feelin’ better!

Bullet’s 50th spurs upsets galore on Saturday, and BDFL surprises on Sunday.

Cheetahs Rip, Roar, Past Dogs with Epic A.W.:

Stories of the Riverchase Cheetahs' great demise were flagrant exaggerations. Butch Neal spent a regular Saturday afternoon at Bryant-Denny Stadium, counseling his two sons and all others that would listen on the spirals at halftime. He then took his “happy act” to the Old House in Fieldstown Saturday Night. As the Ducks and the (K. State) Wildcats fell, you could see the confidence growing in the BDFL’s elder statesman. The next day, his beloved Cheetahs hammered the reeling, sickly, Brookside Dogs in an Epic A.W. – 65-13. That’s a 52-point “margin of vict’ry,” which may be a Fantasy Football League record. It must of made Mark Burr sick to lose by that many points. Mark’s Mutts are sliding down in point totals in the “Pucker Factor” standings (see way below), while the defending champion Cheetahs are “not done yet.” Neal said, “We still need two more wins (to get to Miami). And, that’s all that matters now. Oh yeah, and the Cheetahs need two more to get in the BDCS, too.”  

The miniature and figurative Grand Daddy Award this week goes to the Riverchase Cheetahs:

Well, he’s got 4 of the real ones, but a big win in Week Eleven keeps the Sin Wagon rolling for more.

Sloth Monsters Slaughter the Dixie Mafia by 30, for Big A.W.:

The “Son of Slim” and the “Son of Mukes” made the rounds Saturday night at Bullet’s 50th Birthday Party at the Old House (the official party house of the BDFL). Mukes then took his bottle of Jack, and drove all night to the Red Neck Rivera to take on the Gulf Coast Gamblers (well actually somebody else did the driving). What resulted on the gridiron on Sunday afternoon was a complete and utter embarrassment for the Dixie Mafia. Mukes ripped Kenny B. a new one. The Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters pounded the Gamblers by 30 (45-15). It was NOT pretty. The Dixie Mafia has long-since been relegated to the Big Mullet Series (loser’s bracket), but they still continue to suffer agonizing, lopsided defeats in the BDFL. As for the Three Toed Tree Dwellers, they are “flying high and feelin’ mean” this year in the BDFL.

Fighting Slovaks Slip Past the Pasco County Wizards:

The “Son of Ron Slo” and the “Son of ASlo” made the rounds Saturday night at Bullet’s 50^th Birthday Party at the Old House. Adam then took his bottle of Makers Mark, and drove all night to the greater Tampa Bay area to take on the Pasco County Wizards (well actually somebody else did the driving). What resulted on the gridiron on Sunday afternoon was a complete and utter embarrassment for the Wizards. The EuroTrash Talkers ripped Old Merlin and his Magicians. The Oak Mountain Fighting Slovaks outscored the Pixie Dusters by 5-points (32-27). It was NOT pretty. The Wizards have long-since been relegated to the Big Mullet Series, but they still continue to suffer agonizing defeats in the BDFL. As for the Slovaks, they are “flying high and feelin’ mean, kicking A and takin’ names, and – of course – talkin’ trash” this year in the BDFL.

“Slovak Second” – Sponsored by ALFA and CTSN:

“I’m gonna be in the Big Dance, and I’m gonna cut loose… footloose, and kick off my Sunday shoes,” said ASlo.

Woo’s Plans Foiled as the Benton Bullets Subdue “the Crew”:

In a big, old, illegal, last-minute, past-the-trade-deadline trade… the Smoke Rise Woosiers tried to circumvent the rules and pick up a QB for their “peaking, bleeping” stretch run. Well, the strategy back-fired. The Woo Crew was “gunned down” by the Benton Bullets, 20-15, in a game that was “not as close as the score would indicate.” Now, the Black Belt Bullies appear to be a “little greater than the sum-of-their-parts” this season. And, even though they don’t have the greatest “point total” in the BDFL, the Bullerino knows how to win games (most ever – in fact – in BDFL hist’ry). So, after Week Eleven, the Bullets are one win away from climbing over the “Bullet Rule,” and if some teams falter, they’ll be right there causing trouble in the Big Dance. As for the Woo Crew, they are now facing tremendous pressure of the dreaded “Pucker Factor.”

Juggernauts Soar to Crucial Win Against the Mean Machine:

Allyson soaked up some of Cheetah Man’s advice at halftime on the upper deck, spirals at Bryant-Denny Stadium on Saturday afternoon, while Mad Jack (with his 3-BDFL titles) ignored the “words of wisdom.” Then after some extra counseling from D.K., Mary Ann, and John Wayne Franklin on Saturday Night (at the Old House), A.E. cut loose on Sunday against the Fairfield PowerSleds. The results were a big win for the Jugtown Juggernauts over the Fairfield PowerSleds. The Null Set ‘Nauts appear to be one-win away from qualifying for the BDCS (although they may need some more points). Meanwhile, the Mean Machine is doing fine in the “points department,” but with their record falling to 5-6, they are feeling something tightening around their back-side… and THAT is the proverbial “PUCKER FACTOR.” (Jack needs two wins in the next 3-weeks to get to the Big Dance.)

Blitz Go from Bad to Worse – Woodies Win Again:

The Druid City Blitz are going to the Big Mullet Series. That’s a fact. They will be there with the Wizards and the Gamblers. Those are facts. The Bulletin is high on facts. This publication – in fact – only uses the facts. In fact, four weeks ago, it looked like the Black Creek Wooden Warriors were bound for the same destination. However, Old Kawliga’s Tribe has strapped on the head-dress, put on the war-paint, sharpened the tomahawks and gone to work. They didn’t roll over and play dead (like the Blitz, Gamblers, and Wizards). “He must be a Hand,” said an outside observer. “He’s playing to the end of whistle. He’s running all the way past the finish line. He’s not quitting until the clock reads zero.” In Week 11, the Woodies topped the Blitz 19-10 to keep their hopes alive of reaching the Promised Land (or the Bad Lands).

Comfortable Commissioner Clocked by the Cats:

The Commissioner is comfortable with his Grenade Brigade having a sterling record of 9-2, and that’s after losing this past weekend to the Western Hills Wildcats, in a close game, on the ancient black top at Mineral Springs. But, unless a lot of teams lose, the Grenadiers could be on the “outside looking in” when the Big Daddy Championship Series kicks off in late December. As for the “James Gang,” they don’t really have a care in the world (except for maybe the Vestavia Hills Rebels continuing to advance in the AHSAA 6A State Playoffs). In the BDFL though, the BioCats lead their division, they have plenty of wins (8), and points to get into the BDCS, and should be able to “make some noise” when they get there. So, Go Rebels!

Mayors Deal the ‘Dillos a Low Blow:

From the “Penthouse to the Outhouse,” the Duncanville Armadillos are getting to experience a little bit of everything in their inaugural season in the BDFL. KP’s Corps lead the league in “total points” and only need one more win to advance to the Big Dance. It has been a “banner year” for the ‘Dillos. However, in Week Eleven, the “little old band from Texas” took home the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak,” by scoring only 9-points against the Magic City Mayors. Now, the Mayors only scored 13, but still got the vict’ry. The Cronies have a nice point total and enough wins (8) to finish above .500. “Hey, we were actually resting some folks (for the Big Dance),” said A.A. “We were so jacked up after watching all the upsets on the back porch, at the Old House, on Saturday Night in Fieldstown, that we decided to take it easy on Sunday… and, we still got the vict’ry.”

Quote of the week (in relation to the “Pucker Factor”)

“You couldn’t get a greased, ten-penny nail, up his @$$, with a jack hammer,” attributed to the parents, or one of the dads from the Gardendale Ball Park crew from the 1970’s (DK, Uncle Ray, Ray Trotter, Mouse Burkett, “Mr.” Charley Tumlin, Bobby Williams, Mr. Todd, Mr. Edwards, Russ Brasher, Barney Trammell, Clifton Belcher, Mr. McAnnally, Mac Sanderson, Bill Whitlock, Slim Dismukes, and “Big” Albert Reeves).

Notables:

Frank Hand - aka “Son of Iron” (University of the South, Sewanee, Rugby Team, “The Purple Haze”) led his team to a dramatic, gut-wrenching, last-second win over Covenant, 66-5, in Dixie League Matrix action. Frank scored one (1) “try” in the first half, which is good for 5-points. He also leads the team in “length of hair,” number of wrist-bands, and eye-black.

“Pucker Factor” Standings - After Week 11 Games

*Division Leaders

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