TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2012

The Bulletin - Week 9

From underneath a rock in Media Void

The Bulletin – AWs Everywhere

Sponsorship dollars for the Bulletin have all but dried up, with funds apparently being diverted to various campaigns. We’ll go on, on a shoe string budget.

[A.W. 1] “Awesome” Armadillos Continue to Kill:

Mukes bit a nail, ate part of a light bulb, broke a watermelon over his head, and took a “worm pill,” and still could not stop the “Awesome Armadillos” in Week Nine. Rookie sensation Kurt Prewitt just keeps on rolling in his inaugural season in the BDFL. The Bulletin repeats: Rookie sensation Kurt Prewitt just keeps on rolling in his inaugural season in the BDFL. He just dropped a big old A.W. on the Sloth Monsters. The “Road Killers” lead the league in points – by over a 60-point margin. The Duncanville Armadillos are running away with this thing like Jerry Reed’s semi-truck, heading “west bound and down.” Like Burt Reynolds’ “Black Trans Am” running away from Sheriff Buford T. Pusser. Like Dale Earnhardt’s #3, Black, Goodwrench Chevrolet. It must be a lot of fun for K.P. This past weekend, Prewitt’s “hard-shell” team collected a lot of hardware… including the “Top Dog,” and the “Big Daddy of the Week.” And, with the ‘stretch drive’ approaching, he looks like the top contender to hoist… The Grand Daddy.

The miniature and figurative Grand Daddy Award this week goes to the ‘Dillos:

It wasn’t even close. Prewitt had a RB with 36-points, and totaled 56.

[A.W. 2] Woo Crew Shuts up Slovaks (almost – but an A.W. will do):

The Woo Crew has points – they need wins. The Smoke Risers in the Sky got both (points and a vict’ry) in Week 9 with a sweet A.W. over the Fighting Slovaks. You see, Adam ‘tried’ to take his silver spoon, over the mountain, EuroTrash Talking team to Blount County this weekend. They arrived, and Master Woo showed ’em the meaning of the word, “pain.” Now, the Slovaks are still in a better position for the stretch-run than they have ever been in their BDFL-lives. Adam Slo only needs one win to virtually lock-up a spot in the Big Daddy Championship Series (practically uncharted territory for the Slovaks). As for the Woosiers, they still need 3-wins in 5-weeks (see WARTS chart below) to qualify for the BDCS. But, with a big win over the Slovaks… maybe Tommy T.’s “peaking at the right time” mentality is “kicking in.”

“Slovak (Half) Second” – Sponsored by ALFA:

“Ouch,” said ASlo.

[A.W. 3] Gamblers Suffer ANOTHER Humbling Loss as Dogs Give ’Em and A.W.:

What can you say about the Gulf Coast Gamblers this year? I mean they are bad. At 2-7, they are just about as bad as the Lee County College they sent their poor son to this fall. Did the Bulletin mention that the Dixie Mafia is “dead last” in points? It has been really bad in 2012 for the so-called “Real Deal.” This past Sunday, the Brookside Bulldogs blew the Gamblers out of the sea-water along the Redneck Riviera. Mark’s Mutts gave the Gamblers an A.W. of epic proportions. The Dogs are also approaching seemingly “unchartered waters,” getting close to qualifying for the Big Dance, and possibly ending an “18-year losing-streak.”

Commissioner Undefeated No Longer – Bullet Bounces Brother:

The “schedule-maker” could no longer help "The Commissioner.” (One in the same) Sooner or later, the Mineral Springs Grenadiers – and their previously unblemished record – would have to venture out of their comfort zone. In Week Nine, they would have to make the trip to the Black Belt, to Lowndes County, to Hayneville, Alabama, to Rebel Stadium… the place “where opponents’ dreams go to die.” The old stomping ground of Preston Gothard and Jon Causey; it was here that The Commissioner met his first defeat of the season. And, it wasn’t even close. In fact, the Benton Bullets had such a big lead after Thursday Night’s game (31-0), that they “kicked back and smoked a cigarette and began talking about the good old days.” In defeat, Iron said, “they really showed me something.”

Wizards Whipped by Woodies:

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Jaimie Hand and his Pine-knot Renegades, started the season at 0-7, with no room for expansion – er – error. So, the Black Creek Wooden Warriors finally decided to “buckle down and win some games.” The Tribe’s winning streak has now reached two straight. This week, the Woodies adventured down to Tampa Town. They got the ‘treatment’ from Former Buc Curt Jarvis, via a limo ride, that took ’em all over the Bay area – including Clearwater and St. Pete. Then, Kawliga & Company kicked the holy crap out of the Pasco County Wizards, 44-29, in a game that was not-as-close as the score would indicate. Hime couldn’t call anyone to tell ’em about the big vict’ry, ‘cause “the phone in the Limo was busted."

Blitz Beaten by ‘Nauts – Not Close:

In Week 9, A.E. withstood the urge to go to Red Stick, and instead stopped off in Tuscaloosa to subdue the Druid City Blitz, which hasn’t been a hard task for BDFL teams this year. The Blitz is now just one loss away from spending the holidays along the Gulf Coast in the Mullet Series. It has been a ‘forgettable season’ for the “host with the most.” They’ve lost almost every way imaginable. The Rice Rockets roared to an early lead against Fritz, and never let up on the way to a lopsided 33-16 win. Allyson still needs a couple of wins to secure a spot in the BDCS, but she seems focused on maybe finally escaping the Null Set Club* in 2012. [*Note: the Null Set Club is those teams that have never won a BDFL title… and you know who you are.]

Mayors Edge Sleds:

Nobody likes to get beat 17-16. It just has too many old connotations. So, you can imagine Mad Jack Barnes being overly upset at the end of Monday Night Football, when his Fairfield PowerSleds fell one-point short against the Magic City Mayors in a sluggish Gray Beard Division match-up. As for the Cronies, they accepted the entitlement-type win and are looking forward to election day (and the BDCS), they are basically one-win away from getting there. Meanwhile, the Sleds are slipping as Turn Four approaches (at BIR).

Wildcats Claw Past Cheetahs in Classic Cat Fight:

These two teams ended Week Nine in totally different situations. The Western Hills Wildcats captured a narrow, 22-19 win over the Riverchase Cheetahs. With the vict’ry, the “James Gang” – leaders of the Yellow Hammer Division – are just one win away from qualifying for the Big Dance. With the gut-wrenching, 3-point loss, the “Sin Wagon” is rolling downhill like a “snow ball heading for hell.” Sure, Butch Neal’s felines are sitting atop the ancient, Gray Beard Division in points, but they need 3-wins in the next 5-weeks to get into the BDCS (with their current losing record of 4-5).

Quote of the week:

“Breathe if you hate Bama,” read a random College Game Day sign in Red Stick prior to the Alabama (21) LSU (17) game.

Notables:

Woo Junior (apparently at the University of Alabama) reportedly has a new stereo not purchased with student loans.

From the Vaults of WARTS:

“Playoff Pucker Factor” Stats or Status

*Division Leaders

#Spoiler Status / Mullet Bound

w1710 w1711 w1 w2 w3 w4 w5 w6 w7 w8 w9