TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 14

BDCS Set: Upside Down BDFL in 2010

“Null Set Crowd” – Nauts, Dogs, and Slovaks; yes, Slovaks, in Big Dance. Former multiple champions; Bullets, Gamblers, and Sleds relegated to the Big Mullet Series

Hell Freezes Over, Twice!

Slovaks Capture “Top Dog” Award and Spot in BDCS – Outscore Woodies, 37-36

“Yoy, yoy, yoy!” came the cry of Slovaks in Bratislava, Cleveland, and Brookside after the final whistle blew on  Monday Night Football with the Fighting Slovaks making an improbable season one of the most memorable. Not since the Iron Curtain fell in 1989, and the Slovaks got their own country (in 1993 – Slovakia) has there been this much celebration among kielbasa-eating, pivo-swilling, Eastern-European people groups of Catholic orthodox backgrounds. Yes, the Fightin' Slovaks have punched their ticket to the Big Daddy Championship Series. ASlo’s EuroTrash Talking, Pi Cap Caravan of nare-do-wells is headed for the Big Dance. Forget that 10-teams had more points than the Slovaks, Adam’s gang is in (thanks to the Bullet Rule). In Week 14, the Slovaks punched and counter-punched its way to vict’ry over the stunned Wooden Warriors by one. What a bitter ending for Kawliga’s Crew. The Woodies were doomed by their won-loss record (see Bullet Rule), and would have been the 4th seed in the Big Dance had they won 7 games, but now they will set up shop in the Big Mullet Series.

“Null Set” Nauts Claw Cheetahs in OT

The Jugtown Juggernauts have earned a third seed in the BDCS and appear to be headed to the post-season with a lot of momentum. The Nauts clawed their way past the Riverchase Cheetahs in the last weekend of the regular season in overtime in the friendly confines of Ed Bruce – Driver/Rocket Stadium. As for the Cheetahs, they’ll lick their wounds from this one and get ready to go for their unprecedented 4th BDFL title when the Big Dance gets underway next weekend.

Woosiers Lock-up Top Seed in BDCS, Bury Mayors, 19-9

The entire, elite, fantasy football league – known as the BDFL – has been looking up at the Woosiers this season to Tommy T's perch among the hills in Smoke Rise. And, none of that will change in the playoffs. The Woo Crew completed a dominating regular season in Week 14 with a waxing of the Magic City Mayors at one of the Hayden Municipal Parks that will surely bare Tommy Todd’s name when he’s dead and gone, for his many years of service to the Little Leagues of Blount County. Now, the Woosiers are the un-contested Number One Seed for the BDCS. The Grand Daddy is theirs to lose. All the pressure is on the Woo Crew. On the other hand, the Cronies will be the 5th seed and get to battle an “up-and-comer” in Round One.

Dogs in Big Dance Despite Losing to Whisker Runners, 20-19

The aforementioned “up-and-comer” or “late bloomer” or classic “Cinderella Story” is none other than Mark Burr and his Brookside Dogs. That’s right. The Mutts are in the Big Dance. They’ll look to end a 14-year-losing streak beginning in the winner’s bracket next weekend. After a dozen plus two years of absolute and total futility, the Dogs are an over-night success. They’re still dancing in the streets (Main Street / Church Street), roads, and alleys (Goose Alley) of Brookside despite a one-point loss in Week 14 to the mighty-lowly Bootleggers, who close out the season at the bottom of the (whiskey) barrel. Jon Wood’s woeful Whiskey Runners will be obviously in the Big Mullet Series, but they fall there with the league’s worst point total, almost 200-points behind the Woosiers and more than 100 behind the Wooden Warriors. Yes, the Big Block Dodge is the D.W. position going into the tri-oval almost O.O.P. (dog track lingo for “out of picture”). Don't forget the WPOS as well.

Defending Champs also lose by one, 19-18, but in Solid Post-Season Position

It has been one of the best, if not the best, regular seasons ever for the Grenadiers franchise. Old Iron didn’t need any “fluke of the universe” scenarios to reach the BDCS this season. His Capstone Guard stands at attention as the Number Two seed in the upcoming Big Dance. Not even a one-point loss in Week 14 to the muddling Mildcats can dampen the enthusiasm in T-Town, as the Grenadiers look to possibly repeat, and go through their moving boxes to try to find the Grand Daddy trophy. However, the Commissioner may be doomed by the bad karma he has spread with his complete disregard for the greatest fantasy football artifact in the history of American online sports, the venerable “Helmet O’ Silver.” The jury is still out. But, surely the 2010 Champion will cherish the prize more than Iron’s lackadaisical effort. (But no hard feelings from the Bulletin staff)

Blitz Beats Wizards, 30-28, but Merlin Avoids Mullet

In a solid act of defiance, the Edgewood Boulevard Blitz mustered one final attack and flew over Clearwater, Tampa, and St. Pete dropping enough bombs on Pasco County to shell-shock the Pixie Dusters by two in the final weekend of the regular season. However, in the big picture, it mattered not. That’s because the “Host with the Most” is bound for the Big Mullet Series, while Merlin and his minions are in the Big Dance. Parks, who has been reeling ever since HealthSouth “bit the big one,” finally has some good news, and he’ll even get to face a “bunch of girls” in Round One. As for the Blitz, Jerry Fritz finds himself quite comfortable again with the lower-feeders.

Sleds and Sloths in Mullet following Mad’s AW of Mukes

This year’s Big Mullet Series is littered with former BDFL Champions. Two of those (actually four) battled in the last week of the season, with really no hope of escaping the coming events at the Florabama. Slinging a slimy fish is no way to close out a season. At any rate, Mad’s PowerSleds at least went out on a high note with a big A.W. against Mukes’ Sloth Monsters. Now, the reward for both teams, other than a pay-your-own-expenses trip to the Gulf Coast is a rematch in Round One of the BMS. Big Deal, except Mukes is pretty good at revenge.

Bullet and the Gambler Descend to Mullet

From bad to worse, Bullet’s season went like a lead zeppelin in 2010. Like the Hindenburg, Bullet crashed and burned (and screamed like a girl) this season in atypical fashion. Likewise, the Gamblers finished down in the standings and will only get to watch the BDCS from afar. Both teams could have qualified for the Big Dance, but both were done in by the old, proverbial Bullet Rule. The rule, named for two-time BDFL champion, Jerome “Bullet” Hand is a bitter, worm-like pill to swallow for the Boys of Benton. As for the so-called Dixie Mafia, their 18-4 win in Week 14 is hollow and a reminder that it has been a long, long time since the Gamblers hoisted the Grand Daddy. Actually, they never have, since the trophy wasn’t around in those days. The 4-point finish for the Bullets garners them the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak.” But, he can’t say he didn’t see it coming. “I knew I was in trouble when Nicholas Hand drafted my team,” said Bullet.

BDFL: Where are they now?

Where’s the Grand Daddy? The Commissioner has some explaining to do (as usual) in regards to the Helmet O’ Silver. Hopefully, the next champion will do a better job, and be worthy of such a prize.