TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 9

Wild Week Nine not over until after MNF

Edgewood Boulevard Blitz Outscores Woodies, 44-41

The combination of the “Host with the Most,” and the “Evil ScheduleMaker” were too much for the Black Creek Wooden Warriors to overcome in Week 9. Hime Hand’s Tribe put up an impressive 41-points this weekend, enough to defeat every team in the BDFL, except the EBB’s (Edgewood Boulevard Blitz) and the aforementioned schedule-maker. Jerry Fritz’ Blitz tallied up a 44-point-total and outscored Kawliga & Company by a field goal. Everything was eerily quiet on the reservation after the Woodies came up short. Everything, that is, except the horns blaring from all the Volvos and SUV’s headed back to yuppie-spangled Homewood with the Blitz’s biggest vict’ry of the 2010 season.

Mayors Leave Gulf Coast High and Dry with Stunner over Dixie Mafia, 33-24

Unable to get a dome going, or a bingo parlor producing, or a lottery on the ballot, or a Democrat elected… the Magic City Mayors took a sabbatical to the Gulf Coast this weekend. After a couple of days of R&R, the Cronies broke out reverses, fake punts, and long passes to outgun the Gamblers in a real stunner for the home folks down in Biloxi. The Dixie Mafia getting run over by the Magic City Mayors was worse to the locals than Katrina and the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill. This one really hurt. It probably hurt worse than Brett Favre’s broken ankle, or Terry Bradshaw’s appearance on the Jay Leno Show.

All in the Family: Bullets Beat Wildcats, 29-11

The Benton Bullets made the best out of a weekend trip to Jefferson County. The Bullerino with his little .22’s in tow, traveled to Brookside to visit relatives there, before sliding through Gardendale on their way to Five Points West to take on the Western Hills Wildcats. It was like a day at the petting zoo for the Hand’s as Bullet’s 5, 7, and 9-year-old children (Milton, Matthew, and Meredith) easily took care of the very mild, Mildcats. After the easy win, the Hand’s toured Fair Park and BIR before stopping at a nearby Churches Chicken for some vict’ry chicken and biscuits. “This is almost as good as the Churches in Selma,” remarked one of the kids, referring to the largest grossing Churches establishment in the country. As a consolation prize, the Mildcats captured the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.

Woosiers Whip Wizards, 30-13

What’s the old saying about an unstoppable force against an immovable object? Well, forget that analogy in regards to this game, or at least half of that old saying. The Smoke Rise Woosiers may be an unstoppable force in the BDFL, but the Pasco County Wizards are far, far from being termed an immovable object. In fact, the Pixie Dusters get pushed around so much it looks like they are on skates most of the time. Don’t look for Parks’ to travel to Blount County ever again, not to visit Jarvis, or Jim Neighbors, or certainly not to try and stand toe-to-toe against the Woo Crew again. Everyone knew the Wizards were in serious trouble this season as soon as Parks showed up in person at the Miller Genuine Draft. Thus far, he hasn’t disappointed those lowly prognostications.

Cheetahs Nip (and Tuck) Bootleggers, in OT

In 2010, the Wood Brothers just can’t seem to get a break. The North Canton Bootleggers played host to the Riverchase Cheetahs in Week 9, and almost pulled off the upset. The Whiskey Runners raced the Sin Wagon through half the Cuyahoga Valley, and finally caught them during Monday Night Football. Alas, it was not to be. The three-time BDFL Champion Cheetahs had too much of a Tiger-in-the-tank, and managed to edge the Bootleggers by a G-string margin in overtime.

Grenadiers Get Past Juggernauts, 18-13

The Capstone Grenadiers got just what they needed on Monday Night to get past the Jugtown Juggernauts in a BDFL Week that was not over until the fat lady sang in Cincinnati. The Steelers vs. Bengals game on Monday Night Football impacted several Fantasy Football games, and the Commissioner was a big beneficiary. Now, it looks like Iron may actually be in a position to defend his title, which is more than we can say for his employer after some sad events in Red Stick.

Dogs Slide Past Slaughter , 24-3

Chalk up another win for the Couch Monster. In a battle of former roommates, Mukes still holds a decided edge over Dog. Mukes knows it, and Dog knows it. It’s manifested in that little look and that body language, and overall college vibe. That look that says, “Yeah, I’m still here on the couch and I’m not going to class.” It’s that slouch that signals another episode of the Andy Griffith Show is about to immediately follow the previous one, and “The channel ain’t changing.” It’s the center being the intramural safety-valve, and Mukes coming home with more catches than certain wide receivers, “and quoting his stats” to anyone who will listen. So, chalk up another one for the Sloth Monsters who know their way out of Brookside better than most of the locals, and half the Slovensky’s.

Upon Further Review: Dogs Win, 24-23

“You gotta be kidding me,” said Mukes. After leaving Brookside on Sunday afternoon, the Tree Toed Tree Dwellers celebrated too soon. They had a few too many, and slept right through Monday Night Football. Meanwhile, the Super Banker (Dog) already contemplating revenge, pulled off one of the most magnificent Monday Night Miracles of all time in the BDFL, scoring 21-points to – in fact – turn the tables on the Sloths. “Get a job. Pay taxes. And, put my Paul McCartney album back on the turn-table and crank it to 22!”

Slovaks On a Roll – Derail Sleds, 21-15

In lieu of the epic events of Week 9 involving the Helena Fighting Slovaks, the Bulletin will let Adam Slovensky speak for the entire Slovak Nation, out of his very own Bratislava Bat Cave, after derailing the Power Sleds for their unprecedented third vict’ry in a row.

ASlo: “Three in a row we've kicked the hex...what BDFL team wants next?”

ASlo: “Why you (Iron Hand) trying to keep a brotha down? It's a conspiracy against the uprising. It ain't fair.  The rich get richer. We just workin' hard to win ball games and the corrupt establishment thinks they can get one by us. Come on man. The Fightin' Slovaks need a break. It seems like the Iron Hand has a case of the Jerry Jones'. Touchy, Touchy. Meanwhile back in Gotham, the Slovaks have won three in a row. During a joint meeting at an undisclosed location between the Jednotas, Eagles, Knights of Columbus, and various members of the Pi Kappa Phi caravan, it has been brought to my attention that there may be corruption in the BDFL. We will seek out those who taint the name and justice will prevail. Meanwhile, back in Gotham, well you should know the rest. FEAR the Slovaks! Peace. ASlo.”
If any of this makes any sense to you, please let the Bulletin staff know.

BDFL: Where are they now?

Lyle Arrington: Former absentee and reluctant owner and general manager of the Pelham Blades franchise. He is back doing yard work only as a hobby and around the house for his wife, Lisa. He is back to being an accountant and pushing a pencil with a practice in Pelham, and being a “lake bum” on most weekends up at Lake Mitchell. In fact, he’s still “nothing-ing on out” with Greg Brooks. Lyle still acts the same and looks the same (except he’s lost a lot more hair). He’s still the brother of Alan Arrington, head coach of the Mayors and two-time winner of the BDFL Spirit Award.

Tribute to this week’s losers | Cat teams: Cheetahs and Wildcats | Cindy Cooper, etc.

On a morning from a Bogart movie, in a country where they turn back time; you go strolling through the crowd, like Peter Lorre contemplating a crime. / She comes out of the sun in a silk dress, running like a water-color in the rain. / Don’t bother asking for explanations, she’ll just tell you that she came in the year of the cat.
She doesn’t give you time for questions, as she locks up your arm in hers, and you follow until your sense of which direction completely disappears. / By the blue tiled walls near the market stalls, there’s a hidden door she leads you to. These days, she says, I feel my life just like a river running through the year of the cat.
Well, she looks at you so cooly, and her eyes shine like the moon in the sea. / She comes in incense and patchouli (a mint herm, used in perfume) so you take her, to find what’s waiting inside the year of the cat.
Well, morning comes and you’re still with her, and the bus and the tourists are gone. / And you’ve thrown away the choice, and lost your ticket, so you have to stay on. / But the drum-beat strains of the night remain in the rhythm of the new-born day. / You know sometime you’re bound to leave her, but for now you’re left in the year of the cat.