TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 7

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Gamblers Receive Another A.W. as Nauts Roll, 47-17

After receiving an A.W. from a “bunch of girls,” all Kenny Breal had to say was, “She’s the high point man. Allyson is the big cheese. She’s the captain of the ship, the big boss man, the master and commander. The Juggernauts are just a better football team. This week, they were the field general, the admiral, the head honcho, the Captain James T. Kirk of the BDFL universe… you know, the top dog.” As you can tell from those comments, the Dixie Mafia was completely out-classed in Week 7 in Gardendale, at historic Rocket Stadium by the Jugtown Juggernauts.

Bullets Show Mutts Who’s the Big Dog, 41-32

 “If you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes.” And, for the Brookside Dogs this past weekend, all they saw was Bullet’s behind. Sure, Mark’s Mutts tried to stay close to the surging Bullets, and were almost even heading into Monday Night Football. But, the Benton Bullets have evolved into a 4th-quarter team, a two-out ball club, a group of cardiac kids, and in Week 7 they would have made even Scott Cochran proud with their dedication, teamwork, pride, and intensity down the stretch to pull away with a big vict’ry over the mangy mutts. RAF. That’s text/cyber lingo for “Ready, Aim, Fire!” as the Bullets surge to three straight vict’ries and an above-500 mark for the 2010 season.

Are You Kidding Me – Slovaks Blow Out Blitz, 32-14

Let the trash talking begin. ASlo and his motley, over-matched bunch of EuroTrash Talkers waltzed into Homewood this weekend and thoroughly embarrassed the “host with the most.” Jerry Fritz did not know whether to wind his @$$ or scratch his watch after his beloved Druid City Blitz (soon to be Homewood Hostz) was blown out in the yuppie confines of Homewood Park, just off Edgewood Boulevard. As for the Slovaks, they ran amuck after the vict'ry, terrorizing the local patrons along old Oxmoor Boulevard, and streaking down Green Springs Avenue, until their party ended somewhere near Valleydale.

Commissioner “Touches and Goes” in Style Past Cheetahs, 30-15

Speaking of Valleydale, Iron Hand paid his own little visit to Sammy’s on Saturday night, and although reports of the Commish violating the now-famous “touch-and-go” policy have not been confirmed by The Bulletin, it was apparently a night to remember. The T-Town Grenadiers had their way with the Sin Wagon and registered a key Gray Beard Division vict’ry against the Cheetahs. Butch Neal’s felines did not seem to be too upset about the loss, especially considering all of the ones they picked up in the process. However, they did have to get the bouncers to help out when Chris and Adam accidentally found each other and joined in a mutual Hand/Slovensky celebration that will probably set the establishment back several years.

Three Toed Tree Dwellers Choke Bootleggers, 29-10

The North Canton Bootleggers invited the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters to come north for the weekend to catch a little college football on TV Saturday, and then play a BDFL contest on Sunday. And, boy were the Wood Brothers sorry (and sore) come Monday. The Three Toed Tree Dwellers – of course – showed up with Livingston University football legend Albert Reeves (not HOFer Ron Slovensky) and cases upon cases of Miller Lite. Let’s just say, “put it this way,” things got out of hand real fast. Mukes was breaking light bulbs and carving watermelons and leaving Copenhagen cans everywhere. But, it really got bad when Albert found the keys to the Big Block Dodge and started doing some Ricky Bobby stunt driving. Albert especially likes to hit railroad tracks at a high-rate of speed. It looks like the Big Block Dodge will be “up on blocks” for some time to come.

Mayors Edge Wooden Warriors, 26-24

The old Cronies ventured just north of North Birmingham in Week 7 BDFL action to take on the Black Creek Wooden Warriors on the reservation. Kawliga and Company kept it close all afternoon, but they were unable to ultimately wrestle through all the red tape that the Mayors brought with them, and eventually fell to the Cronies by two. However, thanks to the Mayors and their relationship with President Obama, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and Al Gore, the Woodies qualified under the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, and will be able to build new sidewalks, restrooms, air monitors, and a wastewater treatment plant to compensate for their lost revenue and everlasting hardships.

Woo Crew Wins in Western Hills, 22-18

“You can take the Woosiers out of Blount County, but you can’t take the Blount County out of the Woosiers.” The Woo Crew crashed into Western Hills Mall this weekend looking for some new Carhartt’s, Dickie’s, and Red Wing boots. After their “shopping spree” they got all hopped up on double-caffeine lattes and commenced to run circles around the Mildcats. The James Gang remained in the game for a while, and actually ended up with a pretty cosmetic score, but they were glad to see the Woosiers loaded up and headed out of town when everything was said and done.

Mean Machine Too Much for Merlin, 20-16

“The Outlaws down in Tampa Town is a mighty fine place to be. They got green grass and got high tides and sure sounds good to me.” That’s an excerpt from Gator County, from Molly Hatchet’s self-titled first album. Need we say more? Except the Fairfield PowerSleds went down to Tampa, and beat the Pasco County Wizards by four. Enough of that, now on to the tribute: Molly Hatchet is an American southern rock band formed in Jacksonville, Florida, in 1975. They are widely known for their hit song "Flirtin' with Disaster" from the album of the same title. The band, founded by Dave Hlubek and Steve Holland, took its name from a prostitute who allegedly mutilated and decapitated her clients. Molly Hatchet shared influences and inspiration with the most well-known act in the Southern rock genre, Lynyrd Skynyrd as well as another up-and-coming Southern rock act, .38 Special whose singer was Donnie Van Zant, the brother of late Lynyrd Skynyrd lead vocalist, Ronnie Van Zant. .38 Special enjoyed influential connections in the music industry, referring Molly Hatchet to manager Pat Armstrong. His interest in Molly Hatchet led to a recording contract with Epic Records, bringing in Tom Werman as a producer. Werman had already worked with acts such as Cheap Trick, Stranger and Ted Nugent. Ronnie Van Zant was slated to produce Molly Hatchet's first album, having helped write arrangements and directing rehearsals prior to his fatal airplane crash. Molly Hatchet cut their first demos in Lynyrd Skynyrd's 8-track recording studio using their equipment.