TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 5

"Curt Jarvis edition"

Wizards Outscore Wooden Warriors, 45-33

Aside from the K-Mart parking lot just a few blocks from Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, there’s no place Parks would rather be than in the winner’s circle after vanquishing long-time rival Hime Hand. Old Merlin welcomed Bocephus to the Tampa Bay area with Curt Jarvis-like treatment: limo to hot spots in Clearwater, Tampa, and St. Petersburg, and dinner stops at the original Hooter’s. The Bulletin has yet to discover if there was any show-and-tail time on the trip. Be that as it may, this BDFL Showdown was a slugfest from the outside with the Wizards and Woodies landing numerous punches. However, in the end, it was the Tribe finally saying “no mas,” in the end, and giving in to the Pixie Dusters.

Commish Gives Mayors the Spirit along with an A.W., 41-16

“I gave him spirit award (for the second year in a row),” said the Commissioner, in reference to Alan Arrington. “Now, I’m giving him an A.W. to go with it.” That pretty much sums up the Magic City Mayors visit to Tuscaloosa to take on the Capstone Grenadiers. (The Bulletin decided to just go ahead and settle on a name for this franchise.) We’ll continue to use some of the obvious alias’ – such as Commish and Sharp Dressed, etc. This weekend, the old Commish opened up a can of industrial-strength whoop @$$ and dumped it all over the visiting Cronies. The Mayors sulked home late Sunday evening, and couldn’t even find their valued BDFL-spirit-pennant to use as a “crying towel.”

Not Mild Sunday: Wildcats Smoke Sloths – A.W. Style, 38-15

Did anyone see this A.W. coming? The James Gang ventured away from the neighborhood confines of Western Hills at Five Points West and made it all the way to dang near Bessemer, before they began unleashing their anger, wrath, and aggressiveness on the surprised Sloths. “What did I ever do to deserve this,” said a back-pedaling Mukes who was hit with every jack-handle, knife, and hubcap the Wildcats could find at nearby BIR. When the game was over, J.J. was even a little scared to join the celebration caravan back to the “neighborhood confines,” and instead slipped off to Vestavia for a little, well-deserved R&R, and some chemistry equations.

Gamblers Top Whiskey Runners, 30-24

The Bulletin has well chronicled the woeful beginning of the 2010 BDFL season for the Gulf Coast Gamblers. But, just in case you were away, basically they’ve already lost this year to the Lowly Slovaks, enough said. However, in Week Five the Dixie Mafia came to life when the North Canton Bootleggers came to the Mississippi Gulf Coast. The Gamblers were not going to let the Bootleggers walk away like carpetbaggers. So, Kenny B. with the help of some USM Golden Eagles, USA Jaguars, and West Florida Argonauts… turned up the heat on the Whiskey Runners and the strategy paid off with a big win for the Gamblers.

Blitz Upsets Woo Crew, 28-25

“Oh how the might hath fallen.” Tommy T.’s Blount County Bad Boys were the talk of the BDFL through four weeks. The Woo Crew was clicking on all cylinders. The Woosiers were undefeated. The Smoke Risers in the Sky were flying high and feeling mean. The Hayden Haymakers were kicking butt and taking names. They looked like a machine, a muscle-toned, spanking machine. Their trip to Homewood to visit the Blitz was supposed to be a mere visit and quick vict’ry against the “host with the most.” It turned out to be a yuppie nightmare for the Woosiers. And, when the Volvo’s and SUV’s have left the building, at Jerry Fritz’s excellent suburban flat, there was the Woo Crew picking up the shattered pieces of their first defeat of the season in the BDFL.

Juggernauts Shut Up the Slovaks, 23-15

Email and cyberspace chat rooms along with the latest pop-up blogs will at least be quiet for another week, as the Helena Fighting Slovaks were shut down and shut up in Week Four by the Jugtown Juggernauts. A.E.’s “bunch of girls” are not playing in 2010, and they completely dismantled the Pi Cap Caravan this weekend. The win not only gives the Nauts hope that they will have a winning season, and make the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS), but that they may finally break out of the Null Set Club, and actually win a BDFL title. As for the Slovaks, they’ll just “sit right here and have another beer in Mexico… do their best to waste another day.”

Benton Bullets Shoot Down the Cheetahs, 22-15

The conversation in Columbia, South Carolina went something like this:

Butch: “We had the ball inside their 30-yard-line five times and only got one touchdown. They had the ball inside our 30-yard-line five times and scored five touchdowns.”

Bullet: “Man, want another beer?”

Butch: “Just wasn’t our day.”
Bullet: “Yeah, you want another beer?”

Cheetah Man: “Are there some co-eds around here or what?”

Bullet: “Sensuous. Since-you-was-up… get me a beer.”

Come Sunday, the Riverchase Cheetahs had nothing left in the tank and the Benton Bullets were running light on some leftover barley and hops, thus being able to sustain long enough to get a crucial BDFL vict’ry.

Mean Machine Mauls Mark’s Mutts, 20-12

Well, there is absolutely no surprise to the following sentence: The Brookside Dogs capture the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak.” Actually, Mark’s Mutts scored a dozen points, not always an atrocious amount of points in the BDFL. And, the home standing Fairfield PowerSleds only managed 20-points, which was the lowest of the week, for any of the Week Four winners. But, none of that really mattered when the smoke cleared at the Dolodome on Sunday. The Mean Machine appeared to be back. And, as soon as the visitors vacated the premises, the smoke machines were turned back on, and the Power Sleds rallied for a post-game concert featuring Johnny and Edgar Winter, RATT, and Twisted Sister.