TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 4

“Just going through the motions…”

Sin Wagon Rocking and Rolling [51-25]

Away – but not too far away – from the friendly confines of Sammy’s, the Cheetahs were in rare (and bare) form this weekend against the Magic City Mayors. The Sin Wagon was rocking and rolling and flirting and frolicking all through nearby South Side, then Morris Avenue, Graymont Avenue, 22nd Street, and right on to the BJCC, with a “Limo Show” that even Vegas would have been proud of. There was nothing for the Cronies to do, but “let it rain,” throw their money in the air and beg for mercy. What the Mayors received was a good, old-fashioned A.W. at the hands on the only 3-time champion in the BDFL.

Woo Crew Naut Impressed [38-23]

“Girls Gone Mild,” could have read the sign in the fair city of Gardendale this weekend. That’s because even though the hometown Jugtown Juggernauts started the season, 3-0, they did not impress the Woosiers. In fact, the girls were no match for the relentless Woo Crew from Blount County. The Smoke Risers in the Sky know all about performing at Rocket Stadium, and pulled out a vintage effort on Sunday, to put even more steam behind their title aspirations in 2010.

Sledheads Quiet Commissioner [26-23]

A perfectly good season for the Capstone Grenadiers may have just been “shot to hell” by the Fairfield PowerSleds. The old Commissioner had to leave the comforts of his palatial office in Bryant-Denny Stadium to travel “up the road” to Snitz Snider Stadium to take on the Metal Heads. Iron was not ready for the trip. And, as “iron sharpens iron,” the Grenadiers may be better off in the long run, but in Week 4 in the BDFL, they had to absorb a crushing defeat at the robotic hands of the Mean Machine. “You keep on shouting. You keep on shouting! I want to rock and roll all night, and party every day!”

Bullet’s Gaff Contributes to Loss [21-17]

While the Commissioner was getting shut down, his zero tolerance policy was derailing the Bullets in their rocky road trip from Benton through Dothan (Cowboys) and Tallahassee on to Clearwater, St. Pete, and into Pasco County, Florida. It seems the Bullet in his high-pressure, goal oriented, driven, stress-filled state job delayed ever so slightly in sending in his BDFL starters for Week 4. Needless to say, he missed the TS deadline. When Bullerino recognized his error extremely early on Sunday morning, before any of the NFL games had started, he texted his changes in to the league office. However, it appears now, that is outside some new unwritten rules. Long story short (too late), the Bullets could not insert (RB) Tomlinson – NY Jets for (RB) Jones – KC Chiefs (who were actually off Sunday). The gaff by the Bullets cost them 12-points, and the game to the thankful Wizards, and earned the Benton Bullets the “Bonehead of the Week” award. “I’ve met Scott Hunter. I’ve tossed some passes with Scott Hunter. I’ve eaten chicken with Scott Hunter,” said Bullet. “But, to be in any way compared to his (lack of ) intellect is a real insult, that I may not shake for days to come. At least Alabama killed Florida.”

Dogs Edge Wooden Warriors [20-19]

Which is worse: getting the Scott Hunter “Bonehead of the Week” award, or losing to the Brookside Dogs? You can answer that one at www.thebdfl.com, and quality for prizes, giveaways, and more. (Actually, you can’t. The website is still down worse than the Wooden Warriors and the Bullets.) Both are bad. Let’s just put it that way. Hime Hand went to visit his Uncle Phil in Brookside (as well as some other Slovensky’s) and then made the mistake of crossing the Five Mile Creek and the rail road tracks. It was there on the gravel-laden fields of Brookside Ball Park, that the Tribe was ambushed by Mark’s Mutts. Old Dog’s old dogs have some new tricks these days, and they “unleashed” them against the Woodies to pull out a one-point upset, and then proceed (led by John Foster, Dodie Goode, Terry Tarrence, and Booger Bass) to tear down both goalposts, a telephone pole, and most of the fencing at the park. Barking and howling was heard throughout the night, well at least most of the night, until Dwight Slowees put an end to it with a couple of shotgun blasts.

Bootleggers Outrun Mildcats [19-9]

“Cadillac, Cadillac, long and dark, shiny and black. Open up your engines, let ’em roar, tearing up the highway like a big old dinosaur.” The Big Block Dodge was running like a vintage 1970s Cadillac this weekend and managed to run right past the old familiar Mildcats. After pounding the Western Hills Wildcats, the Wood Brothers took their sweet ride just down the street from Five Points West to BIR to turn a few laps for the locals, knock back some of their fine Tennessee sipping whiskey and ponder the question echoing through the hills of Tennessee and for that matter, the bayous of Louisiana. Which one is stupider: Les Miles or Derek Dooley. Les’ LSU at least got the vict’ry, while now young Dooley (the son of a Vince) must try to teach his Volunteers not only how to take a shower, but how to count to 11. “Little girl in the blue jeans go tight. Driving alone the Wisconsin night, you’re might last love, baby you’re my last chance. Don’t let ’em take me to the Cadillac Ranch.”

Blitz Overruns Dixie Mafia [17-7]

Where have all the good times gone? Is probably a question Kenny Breal is asking himself after yet another loss in the BDFL. The Gamblers you’ll recall from your BDFL hist’ry, started their Fantasy Football quest with back-to-back championships. Since that time, the Dixie Mafia has been relegated to an “also ran,” that frequently even loses to the lowly Fighting Slovaks. This week, it wasn’t the Slovaks that dumped the Gamblers, but it was pretty close. The Host with the Most, Jerry Fritz, ran roughshod over the Gamblers in a game moved to the yuppie haven of Homewood (instead of Druid City.) Now, that the Blitz has a winning streak going there, they may well petition the BDFL powers-that-be to let them move their permanently, especially since T-Town isn’t big enough for two teams. Oh by the way, the Gamblers also take home the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak.”

Slovaks Shock Sloths [10-9]

Question: When can you lose to the Slovaks and not get the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak?”

Answer: Almost never.

The Bulletin said “almost.” That means it is possible. And, as it turns out, it happened in Week Four. The Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters lost a three-toed, nail-biter to the Fightin' Slovaks this weekend. Mukes kept “throwing the red flag” to get slow-motion instant replays. And, every time he heard the discouraging words from the official, “upon further review, you suck.” That really can hit you where you live. Meanwhile, the Slovaks were ecstatic after escaping with a hard-fought, one-point, redeem-your-season type vict’ry. To say they celebrated is putting it mildly. In fact, when ASlo woke up Monday morning, all he could say was, “I drank what!?”