TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 8

Eight, skate, donate, and apologize.”

Schedule Maker and Sloths Conspire to Defeat Bullets, 30-25

“Looks like I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue,” said Bullet reprising a line from Airplane! The Movie. The evil schedule maker got the best of the Benton Bullets in Week 8, along with a fired-up bunch of Three Toed Tree Dwellers. The Bullets would have defeated 12 of the other 15-teams in the BDFL this weekend, but they were matched against the Sloths. Like his job in the elevator business, Mukes’ season in 2010 has been “up and down.” But, he’ll take a vict’ry over the Bullets any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. Thanks to the Slo Toe (Sebastian Janikowski’s 15-point day) the Sloth Monsters were whistling Dixie this weekend, and cruising back to Silver Lakes after dispatching the Bullets at Rebel Stadium in Hayneville, and partying until the midnight hour. “In the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more. With a ‘Rebel Yell’ she cried more, more, more!”

Wooden Warriors Whip Whiskey Runners, 31-17

The actual ‘high-point-man’ this weekend was Jaimie “I never met a shot I didn’t take” Hand. Who became a Gardendale Civic Center legend late in life (unlike Johnny Hunt and Fish Ferguson) with his ‘touch and shoot’ philosophy in the winter adult church league. However, as he often explained, “When you’re playing with Wally, Belrose, and the Dempsey’s… it’s pretty much your best chance to win.” The same strategy paid off this week in the BDFL for Chief Chunk Em Up. The Wooden Warriors kept “dialing 8” and “going deep” and the plan paid off in a big 14-point vict’ry over the beleaguered Bootleggers, who can’t seem to get a break. It could be that their vast lack of football knowledge is finally coming back to haunt them.

Woo Crew Mashes Mean Machine, 25-10

Woo is already proclaiming in cyberspace and on the email circuit about claiming a spot in the Big Daddy Championship Series. Big Deal, with this bunch of rag-a-muffins, it’s no wonder the Woosiers are riding high in 2010. Take the once powerful Fairfield Power Sleds, please. These guys talk about descending from the clouds at Boutwell Auditorium and cranking some heavy metal and vibrating the walls. However, Tommy T. actually has ear-splitting vinyl that would make the Sleadheads run back to momma, and the friendly confines of the Hoover Basement.

Capstone Grenadiers Control T-town – Run off Blitz, 24-21

In the “this town is not big enough for the both of us” game of the week, the Commissioner showed Fritz the door. “Don’t let it hit you in the @$$ on the way out.” The Capstone Grenadiers ran the (formerly known as) Druid City Blitz out of T-town with a closer-than-expected three point vict’ry at the world famous Intramural Fields on Sunday. “The host with the most” was probably, actually, relieved to leave; if that makes sense. Jerome Fritz is much more comfortable in the cozy confines of yuppie-spangled Homewood. It’s there that he is in his element, and look for an official move in the off-season now that there is a new sheriff in Tuscaloosa, and his name is Iron Hand.

Gamblers Get a Win Against Dogs, 22-13

Well, after blowing a lot of smoke about the Dixie Mafia, and how things were going to be different the rest of the season, the Gulf Coast Gamblers appear to be Walking Tall now. Kenny B. and his Biloxi One-Armed Bandits exposed the Brookside Dogs this weekend on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. And, while Dog may have brought back some campaign, PAC-money from the Mississippi Casinos for the November 2 elections, he did not bring back a vict’ry from the Magnolia State. In fact, Mark Mutts were quite surprised that someone outside the boundaries of Brookside, Cardiff, Coalburg, and Dog Town could “lie, cheat, and steal” on his level. Lesson learned, “now Google ‘Cardiff by the Sea,’ when you chance,” said a dejected Dog. You’ll have to do that to pick up the hidden, subliminal message from the former Super Banker and his Tea Party partisans.

Slovaks Slam Sin Wagon, 17-8

Note to Adam: this is not an A.W.

“If the NFL can play in London, why can’t I play in Slovakia?” asked ASlo from his EuroTrash Talking pulpit otherwise known as his laptop. Well, there are numerous reasons, mainly that they don’t have football fields over there, hardly anything to eat, and you can’t get there without flying into Berlin or Brussels and taking an 18-hour bus ride with the resident Slovaks. Anyway, it was the Riverchase Cheetahs home game, and the 3-time BDFL Champions utterly embarrassed themselves in Week 8, by scoring in single-digits, and then having to watch the Slovaks take over the runway, the bar, and ultimately even the pole at Sammy’s.

Naut Today in the Magic City – Cronies Outrun Rice Rockets, 15-10

In what was second billing to the “Magic City Classic” at Birmingham’s Legion Field, the Mayors outran the Jugtown Juggernauts by five at the Old Gray Lady. The game did not have near the color and pageantry as the headliner between the Hornets of Alabama State and the Alabama A&M Bulldogs, won by the Hornets for a change and stopping a long winning streak for A&M in the Classic. The underwhelming BDFL game went all in favor of the home field, in what is NOT a neutral site for the Mayors. “This is home,” said Alan A. “And, we defend it like home. We’re not about to let a ‘bunch of girls’ come in here and ruin this perfect stadium that now has more ambiance without the upper deck. Now, go vote Democrat and give our President something to work with in Washington. Help him get the car out of the ditch, before the Republicans get the keys.”

Wizards Win One over Mildcats in Sleepfest, 9-6

The Bulletin cannot lower itself to discuss this one. Both of these teams deserve the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award. But, alas… it goes to the Mildcats who lost to Merlin in a game that set the BDFL back three years, not counting “throwbacks.”

BDFL: Where are they now?

Jeff Conner founding member of the BDFL, and former coach, owner, and general manager of the Concord Hummers. He is currently still in the Concord/Hueytown area. He is still working in the medical-equipment rental field, (although not at MEDIQ-PRN) and he still looks the same, talks the same, and acts the same.