TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 11

The Bulletin is back after a week off to unwind its mind and re-thread its head.

Woo Hoo! Woosiers Embarrass Bullets, 50-22

Well, the Red Division Showdown turned out to be a big, big, letdown for the home standing Benton Bullets. The Hayden Haymakers came to Rebel Stadium in Hayneville and destroyed the Bullerino in A.W. fashion. It was downright embarrassing for Bullet. To add insult to injury, the Bullets received the BDFL’s weekly “Bonehead” award for not starting the correct running back, but as Bullet says, “we still would have lost, it just wouldn’t have been an A.W., and I would have been mad at the schedule-maker.” Meanwhile, the Woosiers continue to roll through 2010 in the BDFL like Sherman through Atlanta, crushing and burning everything in their path, and take home another “Big Daddy” award in the process on a probable collision course with the big prize, the Grand Daddy trophy. [Note: Bullet did get some good news this week. His fantasy NASCAR team – Bullerino Motorsports – won the 2010 Godzilla Racing Series for the second consecutive season and the record-setting 6th time overall.]

Allyson’s Nauts Handle Hime & Company, 38-16

“As much as we all hate going to Fultondale, I thought I just I need to go over there and take care of business as quick as possible, kind of like Alabama vs. Georgia State,” said Allyson. Well, in this version of fake football, A.E. was like Nick Saban and Jaimie was like Bill Curry. Allyson’s “bunch of girls” dominated Hime’s “band of Choctaws” from wire-to-wire on the Black Creek Reservation this weekend. It was never close and the Tribe may be folding this season just a little earlier than normal. It hasn’t even really gotten that cold lately, and Kawliga & Company are already folding up their wigwams and heading for warmer climates… most notably Prattville to visit with Glenn “Birdman” Farmer and to re-group.

Wizards Whip Monsters in A.W. Style, 35-3

Ladies and Gentlemen, the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” for Week 11 in the BDFL is the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters. And, it wasn’t even close. Mukes’ Three Toed Tree Dwellers were thoroughly embarrassed and humiliated and shamed by the Pasco County Wizards on Sunday. Parks’ Pixie Dusters dusted the Sloths by 32-points on Mukes’ home field (not to be confused with Home Field package store in Fultondale). The performance for the Sloths was so bad that they reverted to their pre-evolutionary days, and ran into the woods to hang (albeit by three toes) from a tree for hours and hours. Finally, the youngest Mukes, 5-year-old Dalton talked his Dad down from the branches with some sound advice and by rattling a 12-pack of Miller Lites.

Power Sleds Edge Bootleggers in OT

The Bootleggers can not catch a break in 2010. It’s official. You can write it down or etch it in stone. The Woods Brothers are snake bit. They are jinxed. Something is seriously wrong with the Whiskey Runners this season. Take Week 11 for example: the Bootleggers go out and score 33-points; an excellent total for most BDFL franchises and a winning score 90-percent of the time. However, to prove the “jinx theory” true, the Big Block Dodges lose to the Purple Gremlins from Fairfield in overtime. Ouch. When is the last time a race-worthy Dodge lost to a sawed-off, ugly, station wagon? Stoke the fires on West 31^st Street, the Sled Heads are about to crank some serious metal music.

Capstone Grenadiers Grind (so fine) Gamblers, 30-19

“Dixie Mafia my @$$” read the ‘sign of the week’ on a bumper sticker in T-Town this week. The Capstone Grenadiers showed the Gulf Coast Gamblers no respect on Sunday in a match-up of old, washed-up, home-run-derby dudes, pushing 50. But, it appears that Kenny B. is much closer to a “mid-life crisis” than the Commissioner at this point. Also, at this point, it is not clear as to whether Iron will get that “wink, wink” promised, all-expenses-paid trip to Lambeau Field.

Dogs Catch Cats, 29-26

Like bringing a “knife to a gun fight,” or bare fists to a Brookside fight (a coke bottle is the preferred weapon), Jerry James brought a bunch of cats to a dog fight this weekend and walked away spitting up more than hair balls when all was said and done. Mark Burr’s Mangy Mutts still have some bite left in them as the BDFL stretch run is set to begin, and the Dogs are Brookside-bent to end a 14-year losing streak in fantasy football. The Mutts may actually be peaking at the right time this year, and could possibly do some damage in the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS), if they make it. Knowing how to “lie, cheat, and steal” has benefited Dog well in the business world, but that same strategy has yet to pay off in the BDFL. Will 2010 be the year?

Cheetahs Bury Blitz, 23-14

Well, one set of Cats did win in Week 11, but that was probably because they were playing the Homewood Fritz Blitz, more than any other discernable factors. Butch Neal’s Cheetahs toyed with Jerry Fritz’s yuppie-spangled ball club like a cat with a mouse, before finally dispatching the Blitz. The “host with the most” had no hard feelings when the game was over. In fact, he hopped aboard the Sin Wagon for a trip down Green Springs to the Irish Deli and on to Valley Avenue to drown his sorrows.

“EuroTrash Talk” Maxes Out After Slovaks Sink Mayors, 25-20

“Actions speak louder than words,” was one of the main sayings for Gardendale Metro, Little League, football coach Mac Sanderson. Those are words to live by for most BDFLers. However, that does not include the Helena Fightin' Slovaks. Adam Slovensky’s ranting and ramblings online this week reached almost an epidemic level, even for him. The EuroTrash Talkers let fly with a series of cyberspace brags, postings, Twitters, and Googles after dispatching the Magic City Mayors (“beatin’ ’em naked and hiding their clothes”) at tiny Joe Tuck Park in Helena on Sunday afternoon. The Bulletin has a sample for those of you who couldn’t read the emails, because they jumped immediately into your Junk File, or were registered as ‘Spam:’ Thus says ASlo: “The e-STAB-blash-ment smells fear and it smells something like stale beer. And trust me the Pi Kap caravan knows that smell and we like it. WE Like IT. It's good for the League it's good for the world. I need odds from the powers-that-be on Slovaks winning THE Silver Helmet. We might need to place a bet. Slovaks have the keg ready. For those of you that don't know what I am refering to, read the paper, read the blogs, get out tha house, get a life, get real, find a hobby, the Slo's get another WIN...Pay attention we fo real.”

Where are they now?

Mary Ann and Donald Hand (parents of Chris, Jerome (Bullet), and Jaimie): still living on Hand Lane in Gardendale, Alabama (Fieldstown) and planning for their 50^th Wedding Anniversary party Saturday night at St. E. on Main St. “ya’ll come now, you hear.”