TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2010

The Bulletin

Week 13

Thirteen: Unlucky for Bullets and Blitz as they are eliminated from the BDCS

Grenadiers Bomb Slovaks with Big A.W., 43-20

“What’s an A.W.?” Well, the Fightin' Slovaks found out “First Hand” in Week 13 of BDFL action. The defending champion Grenadiers (who apparently have lost the Grand Daddy or sold it on e-Bay) took the EuroTrash Talkers to the proverbial woodshed. ASlo hadn’t had this kind of whipping since he was slung around in the Pi Cap basement as a lowly, freshman pledge and left alone in the Tuscaloosa County – Kellerman coal mines. In a fluke of the universe, almost as big as Iron’s 9th place finish and march to the 2009 title last year, the Slovaks remain alive in the convoluted race for the last couple of spots in the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS). As for the Grenadiers, they actually have a good team this year, with the 2nd or 3rd highest point total in the BDFL, but look for the karma to catch up with them in the Big Dance.

Eliminated Wooden Warriors Humble Mildcats, 40-22

Now, that there is absolutely, positively no pressure on the Black Creek Wooden Warriors, they are playing like a team possessed… like a two-out ball club in a no-holds-barred, weekend round-robin, with a shoe box of cash at the end-of-the-rainbow for the winners. Yeah, the Woodies were eliminated from the BDCS (see Bullet rule) weeks ago, and since then they have taken out their angst on the rest of the league. In Week 13, it was the Mildcats who felt the wrath of the Warriors. This one was never close and three points away from being an A.W.

Nauts Blast Bullets, Eliminate Boys of Benton for BDCS with A.W., 39-10

Speaking of A.W.’s, did you see what the Juggernauts did to the Bullets. Well, if you had Lifetime or the Oxygen Channel, you would have gotten the opportunity. It seems the Nauts have gone outside the BDFL hierarchy, and negotiated their own TV contract for their home games on the two cable-satellite women’s stations. So, chicks around the country got to see the “Bunch of Girls” whip the Boys of Benton ‘live’ from Rocket Stadium. Judging from the early Arbitron and Nielson over-night ratings, it was one of the most successful programs in the history of the stations, finishing second only to Martha Stewart’s at-the-time finale before she went to the slammer. Of course, she later got out, but lost a lot of her endorsements. As for Bullet, he is relegated to the Mullet Series. “I knew I was in trouble when I let Nicholas Hand draft my team,” said Bullet.

Blitz Knocked from Slim BDCS Contention by Mayors, 35-19

Another team knocked from the BDCS in Week 13, was the Edgewood Boulevard Blitz. However, the Bulletin has not been able to determine whether or not this will have any impact on Jerry Fritz hosting the Super Bowl Gala for the 3rd consecutive year. Things have gone downhill fast for Jerome Fritz and Jerome Hand since they accidentally met in the tunnel at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena last January. Now both will be watching the Big Dance on TV, while their teams muck it up in Mobile (at the Mullet Series). Meanwhile, the Mayors are flying high and feeling mean and could be a real threat in the post-season, especially if Lowry Langford’s appeals work out.

Wizards Stay Alive by Crushing Whiskey Runners, 31-12

One team that remained alive for a shot at the BDCS this past weekend was the Pasco County Wizards. Old Merlin and his mighty minions played host to the woeful Whiskey Runners, and that was just the kind of tonic the Tampa Tarnishers needed to keep them barely eligible for a spot in the winner’s bracket this post-season. The Big Block Dodge has been “up on blocks” practically all season and the Bootleggers are now being mentioned in the same sentence with the Slovaks at holiday parties and cotillions for absolute and total futility. The truth hurts, but have the Whiskey Runners and the Slovaks ever been invited to the Big Dance?

Woo Crew Back on Track – Mangle Mark’s Mutts; A.W. Style, 30-7

(From Remember the Titans tune) “Every where we go… people want to know… who we are… so, we tell them… We are the Woosiers, the mighty, mighty, Woosiers!” The Woo Crew had more fun in Brookside than Jonathan Carroll going down (the) hill in roller skates with his long hair flying in the breeze as he zoomed down Main Street, past Wayne’s Place, and across the Five Mile Creek. Yeah, the Woosiers painted the town red on Sunday. The Dogs were completely out-classed by the Smoke Risers in the Sky. A Brookside team getting out-classed, now that’s news. Mark’s Mutts quickly crossed the tracks (from the Brookside Ball Park to the VFW) to lick their wounds, get a cold one, and contemplate what they’ve always done best… get revenge. And this year, they may actually get a chance in the Big Dance.

Three Toed Tree Dwellers Still Hanging on to Playoff Hopes; Top Cheetahs, 25-16

Try holding onto a one-dollar-bill sometime with only three fingers, and no thumb, and then getting it into a delicate place in a semi-dark, smoke-filled room, after several Miller Lites. Well, that’s a good analogy of the Sloth Monsters playoff hopes. Their chances are Slim (pardon the pun) and none. But, the Son of Slim is still alive and kicking for an outside shot at the BDCS, and don’t be surprised if the Three Toed Tree Dwellers are sitting at the grown-ups table this holiday season. Mukes topped the Cheetahs in Week 13 BDFL action, and now it all seems possible to the Sloths to get up off the couch and make some noise this December and January.

Editors note: Bullet must have missed the BDFL's record audit that shows the Sloths with a 5-8 and no chance at the BDCS this season.

Fairfield PowerSleds Edge Gamblers in OT

“We got the Mean Machine. We got the Mean Machine!” The never-say-die Fairfield PowerSleds are still rockin’ and rollin’. According to WARTS, the Sleds have played three consecutive OT games. And, they remain in position to play for all-the-marbles in the BDCS later this season. With the pressure on, the Mean Machine escaped an overtime game against the Gamblers, and now look to battle the Sloth Monsters in a crucial, crucial, Week 14 match-up that could put them in the Big Dance. One thing is certain, the loser of Mad vs. Mukes will be home-for-the-holidays (or at the Florabama playing in the Mullet Series).

Seven (7) teams are above the Bullet Rule line (.500)

(update on odds) Five teams had 5-7 records prior to last weekend, and had to win two-straight to quality for the BDCS. Here are their odds of getting to the Big Dance before Week 13 (with total points and games remaining). In parenthesis are their hopes or failures:

3:1 [298] Bullet – vs. Nauts, Gamblers (Bullets out with loss)

2:1 [282] Parks – vs. Bootleggers, Blitz (Wizards still alive)

5:1 [246] Mukes – vs. Cheetahs, PowerSleds (Sloths out with audit called by the Wizard)

10:1 [234] Jack – vs. Gamblers, Sloths (Sleds still alive with and OT win)

50:1 [228] Fritz – vs. Mayors and Wizards (Blitz done)

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7-6 team most likely to be bounced from Big Dance: Slovaks (237) 1:1 (even money) – (Slovaks saying rosary.