The Bulletin

Week 6: The Voice of God and Doom

The Bulletin is your source for weekly BDFL game summaries and more.

Here’s The Bulletin for Week Six 2026: Volume 32, Number 6.

In your best John Facenda* voice: “Week Six dawned in the Big Daddy Football League like a slumbering sun that didn’t want to rise. The spherical object at the center of the solar system simply wanted to stay beneath the darkness. Teams from the BDFL struggled to perform to their expected expectations this past week, but in this premiere fantasy football league, every week produces eight winners and eight losers. Here are their stories…”

*John Facenda (1913-1984) “The voice of God,” NFL Films Narrator, “The voice of Doom,” Bullet’s hero.

Six Shooter Silenced as Mayors Remain Undefeated:

Only one team in the Big Daddy Football League took an unblemished record into Week Six action in this star-spangled spectacle of sports known as fantasy football. The venerable Mayor Arrington looked to remain perfect on the season as the Mayors played host to the Benton Bullets on a glorious gridiron in Jones Valley. The old Cronies didn’t waste any time jumping out to a 22-0 lead after a morning NFL game overseas. The Bullets looked like a pistol – a six shooter – missing its barrel site, firing mechanism, and trigger. But, in this unpredictable world of cyber football, it’s never over until it’s over. The Bullets battled back. Against all odds, the Black Belt Boys actually took the lead 23-22, in what looked to be one of the best comebacks in the hist’ry of the league. But, alas… on this day… the triumph of vict’ry belonged not to the visitors… but, to the still undefeated and untied Magic City Mayors. The Old Cronies pulled out a “W,” with a lone Sunday Night, wide-receiver touchdown, to break the hearts of the Bullets, and remain undefeated. The scoreboard read – for all that could see thru the mist – Mayors 25, Bullets 23.  

Six String Sounds Sweet Music for ‘Dillos:

“Strumming my six string… on my front porch swing. Smell those shrimp… they’re beginning to boil.” That was the sentiment of the Duncanville Armadillos as they kicked back in vict’ry formation after the sunset of the BDFL’s Week Six. It wasn’t an easy path to vict’ry for the Little Ol’ Team from Texas (by way of Charlotte), but the final result was as sweet as any margarita or rum-splashed hurricane. “It’s six o’clock somewhere,” said K.P. in a fine, southern, sweet tea sipping, Texas drawl. The Southside Cheetahs were no match for the ‘Dillos this past week. That “little ol’ team from Texas,” got the job done, and the Sin Wagon just didn’t have the staying power against K.P. & Company. Hopefully, the Cheetah Man will be able to re-group, put this one behind them, and work toward salvaging the season.  

Six Flags Has Got Nothing on Fair Park:

When the air finally turns cool in Five Points West, and the freaks, and vendors, and clowns, and roller-coaster repairmen descend on that side of the city… everyone knows the State Fair can’t be far behind. This time of year, Fair Park doesn’t take a back seat to anyone… not the National Peanut Festival, the Big Mullet Toss, or Six Flags over Georgia. It’s in this “carnival atmosphere,” that the Western Hills Wildcats welcomed the Nawf Birmingham Vulcans in for an old-fashioned game of football. This one started out as a clunker and turned really ugly for the home team. Both teams battled their guts out, paused at halftime for some corndogs and funnel cakes, then resumed their Week Six showdown in the BDFL. It turned out to be a great weekend for the “young, but naïve” Vulcans, and a rough time for the old, proverbial “James Gang,” as they lost to Nic at Nite, 28-11, and got stuck on the Ferris Wheel.

Six Pence Paid as Freebirds Fold Against the Blitz:

Not far from Fair Park is the oldest professional baseball stadium in the country. It’s Rickwood Field. It was the home of the Birmingham Barons of the old Southern League, and the Black Barons of the Negro Leagues. There have been Major League games played there. Football games have also been played at Rickwood Field along with numerous “other” minor league baseball games and high school games. But, maybe the loudest echo from the stadium and it’s top “claim to fame,” was hosting Lynyrd Skynyrd on “at least” three occasions in 1974, 1975, and 1976. In Week Six in the BDFL, in throwback fashion… the Druid City Blitz and the Black Crick Freebirds decided to play at the old park, and patrons could get in for a six pence – a half shilling – (like a quarter or maybe a nickel) to see the game. And, depending on whom you ask, they really got their money’s worth as the Blitz and the F’Birds put on a show of their own. In the end, it was the Blitz that upset the Freebirds 27-24, rocking Rickwood.

Six Feet Under Goes the Commissioner:

The Dixie Mafia this and the Dixie Mafia that. Big Deal (not necessarily in relation to the “Real Deal, Kenny Breal.”) Big Deal. The inner workings of the South’s finest syndicate were played out in ordinary homes, by almost ordinary people, in practically ordinary surroundings in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s, in Jefferson County. Places with names that were repeated in whispers and shadows and inuendo. “Uncle Hootie’s and Uncle Ray’s,” for starters along with “Naut’s and Roddy’s and Dabo’s.” VFW’s and Wayne’s Place and Mike’s and Hooten’s along with the infamous Pine Bowl, near the Gardendale-Fultondale line. The Bulletin can go no farther because of copyright restrictions and “shot gunned” knees. Let’s just say, Jefferson County has had its share of the Gambino element. It the match-up of G-men: Gamblers vs. Grenadiers in Week Six, it was both teams trying to avoid going “six feet under.” The Commissioner could not avoided and ignominious defeat, losing a close one to the Gulf Coast Gamblers in a hard-fought, back-and-forth contest in the BDFL. The final margin was on two, as the Dixie Mafia got the last laugh, 21-19.

Sixth Sense Saves ‘Nauts vs. Bandits:

Also restricted under the “old code,” is any mention of the incident(s) involving Old Barry, Bucket, the aforementioned “shotgun of knees,” or any frat houses along “old row.” Not to mention, the legend of the Jugtown Juggernauts famous abbreviation of ‘Nauts. The Bulletin can only surmise through deductive reasoning, and the careful piecing together of clues and evidence, that the only thing that kept this Gardendale High School, Class of 1982 rivalry from getting “too deep,” was a sixth sense by A.E., that allowed the Juggernauts to notch a 32-27 vict’ry over the Altadena Bandits in a game that was not really as close as the final score would indicate.

Six Pack Sippin’ Sloths Slide to Vict’ry:

Apparently, Mike’s (in Fultondale) was sold out of cases of Miller High Life ponies. So, Mukes had to settle for some six packs to get through Week Six in the BDFL. The previously winless Brookside Dogs came to Nawf Shelby County to play the Sloth Monsters. The defending champion Dogs have had a tough 2026 thus far. It’s no secret that “Mark’s Mutts” had not won a game in the first five weeks of the BDFL season, and the former Super Banker turned Rubber Tycoon, turned National Alumni Future President, was whining like never before. “All my running backs are hurt,” said Dog, “and the other team is pinching and biting.” In the short term, it doesn’t appear things are going to get any better for the mongrels, who watched their losing streak hit six straight in mid-October.

Six Million Dollar Man and the Easter Bunny:

The Bulletin just had to get one more reference to “six” in, and the headline doesn’t have much in common with the game between the Fairfield PowerSleds and the Fieldstown Bellcows. Also the evidence was sketchy as to who the famous “Sixth Man,” was on the St. Elizabeth church basketball team in the late 1980s and 90s. “It was either Shapalak or Belrose,” said a former Gardendale Civic Center regular (not named Johnny Hunt or Fish Ferguson). At any rate, the Bellcows were possessed in Week Six in the BDFL, and played one of their best game against the “Mean Machine,” in a game that will soon be forgotten by the loyal subscribers to The Bulletin, Gardendale Cablevision customers, and those that are too busy being tuned into Netflix to watch reruns of Daisy Jones and the Six. The evidence points to about a half-dozen culprits to blame for all the “six” references, and the 19-7 upset by Bell Head vs. Mad Jack Slovensky… yeah, that’s right… The Bulletin had to pull that one out, after the Sleds captured the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award. (The Bulletin got another reference in before the bottom of the hour).

Week Six in the JrBDFL - “It’s all about the kids”

The Bulletin has “no comment” on the Junior League this week. This segment is soon to be “86’d.”

Any rebroadcast, or retransmission, or pictures, descriptions, or accounts of this event, without the express, written consent of The Commissioner of the BDFL, Iron Hand, is strictly prohibited.