TheBDFL.com                         The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League                               2011

The Bulletin - Week 2

From underneath a rock in Media Void

In the “Separated at Birth” Bowl – Gamblers Win

If you couldn’t tell the difference between Kenny Breal and Jerry Fritz at the Miller Genuine Draft at the Oak Hill Bar & Grill in Homewood, join the club. With matching men’s Sarah Palin reading glasses, graying hair, and general over-40, right at 50 demeanors, who could? They even sounded the same. The Bulletin thinks maybe they were “separated at birth,” and in fact are long lost twins, found again together in Fantasy Football land. One was sent early to the Redneck Riviera and raised at the feet of the Dixie Mafia. The other had it much easier and cushier being groomed in the Silver Spoon sections of Birmingham’s suburbs and mingling with the Yuppie-spangled Homewood crowd. In the BDFL Week Two match-up, the Gamblers led by Dixie Mafia protégé, Kenny Breal, aka “the real deal,” topped the Fritz Blitz by 11. The Gamblers had themselves in the “pick-em” and left Homewood (once again) with a vict’ry and a pocket full of cash to take back to the Gulf Coast and do like any good Good Fella would… pay tribute to the order, the Don, and give the Godfather’s “a little taste.”

Bullets Upend Woosiers

It would surprise no one if an official Dizzy Dean protest comes out in the next few days from WARTS and Woo. You see, the master of the RICKA rule (Bullet) strikes again. And, the Master Woo can’t be pleased with it. After suffering through Week One without a kicker (and still getting a win), the Benton Bullets dropped their original kicker and picked up Jon Kasay. All he did in Week Two was go out and earn “Big Daddy of the Week” honors by scoring 15-points and leading the Bullets to a huge 39-30 vict’ry over the Smoke Rise Woosiers. Tommy T, who has designed his share of ‘rule books’ in the past, will surely be going through the BDFL files trying to find something to protest about after such a humiliating defeat at the Hands of the current leader of the Rugged Red Neck Division (that’s Bullet).

Welcome to the Red Neck Division! Redeaux for Nauts

The Jugtown Juggernauts may have been welcomed rudely to the Red Neck Division last week, but in Week Two they got to get even in more ways than one. Allyson’s bra burners got matched up with the BDFL’s unmistakable misfits – the Fighting Slovaks. And, that usually means only one thing (unless you are the Wizards), “certain vict’ry.” In fact, the Nauts bounced back from their opening week horrors by putting at A.W. on Adam. Now, that’s not normally a big accomplishment, but the win pushes the Nauts back to .500, and it keeps the Slovaks quiet for another week in Cyber Space, and we can all be happy about that.

Hail to the Champions – Cheetahs Win Again

“You can’t stop the Cheetahs,” said the Commissioner “you can only hope to contain them.” In Week Two of the BDFL season, the Mineral Springs Grenadiers failed to do either as they were embarrassed by the Sin Wagon by double-digits, 38-25. “This is the Cheetahs league,” said one BDFL Owner, who wished to stay anonymous, “the rest of us are all just visitors, participants, character actors, sidekicks, and future victims.” She continued, “Butch is the big cheese, the captain of the ship, the head honcho, numero uno, the man with the plan, the top dog, and the defending and four-time champion. He’s it.”

Power Sleds Slap Mayors

Still reeling from losing the “spirit award” to the Lowly Slovaks (T-Shirt and all), the Magic City Mayors are now in full retreat after a Week Two beat down at the hands of the Fairfield Power Sleds. Mad Jack’s Mean Machine came within 2-points of calling it an official A.W. over the Cronies, but it was still sweet for the Sledheads. What’s next for the Mayors? Well, the Bulletin has it on good authority that Alan has already been in contact with name sake Richard “Dick” Arrington for advice, and plans to visit Lowrey Langford – behind the alabaster, ebony curtain – in the following days to revise a resurgence campaign.

Go Figure: Sloths Unable to “Hold On” Against the Wizards

The Bulletin has explained this a hundred times: it is hard for the Sloth Monsters to “get a grip, to hold on, or to get a firm handle” on things. And, not all of this can be contributed to their lack of plausible thumbs, or having only three fingers. Some of it is attributable to their owner, Michael Hewlitt “Mukes” Dismukes. However, in Fantasy Football action, sometimes their lack of evolutionary completion leaves the Three Toed Tree Dwellers simply unable to snatch vict’ry from the jaws of defeat, or to hold onto a big lead (or small lead for that matter). At any rate, the Sloths got ahead of the Wizards last weekend, but they were unable to keep it and thusly went down (not out of the tree) to defeat at the five-fingered hands of Merlin and Company. Here comes an aside. Yes, but did you know this (from Wikipedia): Sloth furs exhibit specialized functions: the outer hairs grow in a direction opposite from that of other mammals. In most mammals hairs grow toward the extremities, but because sloths spend so much time with their legs above their bodies, their hairs grow away from the extremities in order to provide protection from the elements while the sloth hangs upside down. Note: The Bulletin has yet to determine if this helps or hinders the Sloths in BDFL action.

Dogs Whipped by Wooden Warriors

Every year, Dog gets brought down to earth with a BDFL loss that defies explanation. This is not one of those occasions. This past weekend, the Brookside Dogs simply got beat by another Fantasy team that was bigger, stronger, and faster than what the Synaflex Rubber Boys were. The Wooden Warriors studied harder, prepared better, and drafted a better team than Dog did, and that process paid off for Kawliga with a big win in the Creek War: Black Creek defeating Five Mile Creek.

Where are they now?

“Uncle Ray” Ray Fields – Father of Paul Fields, Randall, and Mike; and Mark Burr’s’ uncle: The Bulletin is fairly Uncle Ray is still holding sway somewhere in the Birmingham Metro area and plunking down “nickels” on numerous weekend sporting events. Put it this way, he’s on speaking terms with the Dixie Mafia and the local Gambino’s.

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