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 TheBDFL.com          WIZARDZ WINNERZ                       2007

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From the crystal ball

The BDFL's Weekly Pigskin Prognostications

From The Wizard

Week 17

EDITOR'S NOTE: Let it be duly noted that the Wizard came from behind (which is his patented trademarked move) to win the Prognosticator of the Year (POTY) award by defeating the Evil Las Vegas Oddsmakers (ELVO) 69-65. This was is the Wizard's ninth POTY award win in 11 years with one loss to ELVO and last year's tie.

Woosiers vs. Cheetahs

When it comes to taking home BDFL titles, untainted ones that is, the “Sin Wagon Show Ponies” and the “Hayden Hayseeds” are hardly in uncharted waters making this Big Daddy Bowl showdown a potential classic. In the semi-finals Tommy Todd and the “Who-ville Woosiers” played the role of the Grinch and stole the Juggernauts BDFL title hopes by trimming them in a down-the-wire thriller. Meanwhile, Butch Neal and the Cheetahs, once a BDFL doormat, advanced to yet another BDFL championship game by finally shutting up the Slovaks and, for good measure, putting them in position to capture a third unprecedented BDFL championship. Now the Great Wizardo has always said, “The Grinch hated Christmas - the whole Christmas season. Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right.” While the Wizard always favored the “head on too tight” angle, it really won’t matter because come Sunday evening when the hardware is being hoisted, the Cheetahs will switch roles on the Woosiers and take the title back to Riverchase.

Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.

Fighting Slovaks vs. Juggernauts

A week after watching her title dreams get dashed by a single point, Allyson Edwards and the “Amazonian Ambulance Chasers” have to make the short trip down I-65 to Prattville to regroup in order to salvage a third place finish when they host the “Fainting Slovaks.” The Slovaks carried the hopes of an untainted BDFL title for the Hand / Slovensky Nation on their frail shoulders last weekend only to come up short at the mutual window. Even worse, the Slovaks had an “A.W.” hung on them for their troubles despite a stout 33 point performance proving that the curse-that-shall-remain-nameless is alive and kicking. While the Slovaks made a strong run to get within ear-shot of the summit, a beating by the Juggernauts this weekend will remind them seeing the summit and climbing it are two entirely different ventures.

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.

Wooden Warriors vs. Grenades

After storming into the BDCS with a newly minted Gray Beard Division title on their resume, Chris Hand and the “Muscle Bound Banana Eaters” found out the hard way that warning track power may look good at the crack of the bat, but in the end it’s little more than window dressing after the Grenades collapsed in the quarter finals before fully imploding in the loser’s bracket last weekend with a truly tepid effort. Not to be outdone, the “Weepin’ Warriors” clawed their way into the BDCS only to feebly fold like a cheap tent in the first two rounds. The Great Wizardo is not sure what his buddy D.K. Hand had to say about the quick demise of his two sons, but he’s quite sure it wasn’t “G” rated. Nevertheless, one of these two has to win and the Wizard says it will be the Grenades that polish off the Warriors in a game that will do little to lift the spirits of either.

Wizard’s Winner…the Grenades.

Gamblers vs. Wildcats

Kenny Breal and the Gamblers came up the hard and learned from an early age that it was much more efficient to take rather than receive leading him to two BDFL titles and a berth in this year’s BDCS. However, a first round loss eliminated any hopes the Gamblers had of adding to their trophy collection although a win last weekend did help brighten the mood down on the Bayou. This weekend the “Wagin’ Cajuns” will head up Highway 41 to battle Jerry James and the “Rocky Top Mountain Cats”, who saw their #1 ranking go for naught after a round one loss relegated them to spectator status. Nevertheless, the Wizard peered deep into his crystal balls and says the Cats should still have enough bite to polish off the Gamblers, and that Kenny will find out being born in the backseat of a Greyhound bus rollin’ down that familiar Highway 41 won’t cut much ice in Vestavia.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.

Blitz vs. Wizards

A miserable year for the “Over Forty Plundering Pirates” finally comes to a close when they host the “Druid City Drug Dealers” in the Big Mullet Bowl. While the Wizards have little interest in winning the BDFL’s version of the NIT, which is a thinly veiled attempt by the Commish to pad his wallet with meaningless games and the gate receipts, concessions, and parking that go with them, finishing the year on a high note and lessening their losses makes it worth their while in the battle to see who can “squish the fish” first Sunday afternoon. Meanwhile, the Blitz hope to finish their season with a three game winning streak to help build momentum for next season, and sacking and plundering the home team would be a fine way to do just that. However, the Blitz will likely find landing in Tampa Bay is one thing, but storming the Bastille and making off with the ill gotten booty is something entirely different.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.

Dogs vs. Bullets

Before opening day the Great Wizardo deemed the “Rug Cuttin’ Confederacy” unworthy of championship consideration only to be proved right, as is so often the case, by the Bullets eventual fall from grace that has yet to find rock bottom. They’ll meet Mark Burr and the “Bankrupt Ruff Necks” this weekend to see who gets the privilege of sucking on the BDFL’s hind teat throughout the long, hard winter. The smoke ‘n mirrors that hid the flaws in the Bullets during the early stages of the year quickly dissipated, as the Wiz said it would, sending them into a fatal tail spin. Fortunately for the Bullets, there should be plenty of celebrating on Sunday evening down at a place called the Jug (Wizard’s Note: The legendary Skynyrd song “Gimme Three Steps” was based on a real night club named the Little Brown Jug.) when the last call of for alcohol goes out to the local yokels after the Dogs roll over and play dead yet again.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.

Bootleggers vs. Sloth Monsters

Jon Wood learned the hard way you take the boy out of Bristol, but ya’ can’t take the Bristol out of the boy, no matter how far you travel. The “Bootlickers” posh new digs did little to change their BDFL fortunes after they finished the year in a nose dive that had them suckling the hind teat of the BDFL headed into the BMS. Fortunately for the Bootleggers, they’ve managed to just enough to get out of the cellar, and hope to improve their stock when they face the “Limb Loungers” this weekend. The Sloths have struggled more often than not this season, but the Wizardo says this Sunday the stars are aligning well enough for them to break off all three of their toes in the Bootleggers’ backsides.

Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.

Mayors vs. Power Sleds

Alan Arrington and the “Magic City Pork Peddlers” will see their horrid season come to a merciful end this Sunday afternoon against divisional foe Jack Barnes and the “Dead Sleds”, who have struggles through a difficult season as well, when these two old foes clash at the Dolodome this weekend. Both are former champions, but those titles seem locked in a time and place far, far away after very disappointing 2007 campaigns left both wondering where the magic went. Soaking the overburdened taxpayers of Birmingham is what the Mayors do best, but it has done little to help their fortunes in the BDFL pecking order, and the Great Wizardo says Jack’s “Midnight Train to Memphis” should pull out of the station right on time, for once, allowing the Sleds to slide into the off season in a slightly better frame of mind while leaving the carnage that has been the 2007 Mayors in their wake.

Wizard’s Winner…the Power Sleds.

Wizard's Quote

of the Week

"Fortunately for the Bullets, there should be plenty of celebrating on Sunday evening down at a place called the Jug (Wizard’s Note: The legendary Skynyrd song “Gimme Three Steps” was based on a real night club named the Little Brown Jug.) when the last call of for alcohol goes out to the local yokels after the Dogs roll over and play dead yet again"

Wizard's Quote

of the Week II

"Nevertheless, the Wizard peered deep into his crystal balls and says the Cats should still have enough bite to polish off the Gamblers, and that Kenny will find out being born in the backseat of a Greyhound bus rollin’ down that familiar Highway 41 won’t cut much ice in Vestavia"

Wizard's Quote

of the Week III

"However, the Blitz will likely find landing in Tampa Bay is one thing, but storming the Bastille and making off with the ill gotten booty is something entirely different"

2007 Wisdom

2006 Wisdom

Past Wisdom

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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