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 TheBDFL.com          WIZARDZ WINNERZ                       2007

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The BDFL's Weekly Pigskin Prognostications

From The Wizard

Week 12

Gamblers vs. Blitz

Kenny Breal and his “Dice Tossin’ Delta Devils” were a tough luck loser in Week 11, but still have to feel good about themselves after posting some strong numbers. And the Gamblers will need those warm & fuzzies when they head up I-65 then to I-59 to Tuscaloosa to play Jerry Fritz and the “Pill Pushin’ Pachyderms” on Sunday afternoon where their reception will be chilly at best. The rookies have proven they belong in the “eat what ya’ kill” world of the BDFL and may yet sneak into the play-offs with a strong finish to the regular season. Meanwhile, the Gamblers have no such worries with a sterling record, a seat atop the Red Neck Division, and an impressive point total to match. Unfortunately for Kenny, rolling all of those out on the field, along with his helmet, at Bryant-Denny Stadium won’t impress the Blitz, who in all likelihood will drop the Gamblers down a couple of pegs before days end.

Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz.

Grenades vs. Wooden Warriors

Within the Hand family, the debate over who was the better “gridiron god” at GHS has never been fully settled between Chris and Jaimie, which has bled over into the BDFL giving their annual “backyard brawl” a little extra sizzle each year. While Jaimie claims his MVP award, and the lifetime pass to the Family Buffet that came with it, should be more than enough fodder to settle the dispute, Chris says the legend of the Wolfback still echoes in the hallways of Gardendale, and he has a sticker covered helmet to help him stake his claim. Chris also adds that wrapping up future Bama star Joey Jones like a Christmas present in the North-South All Star is further proof of his gridiron prowess. While the Wizard doesn’t like to get involved in family disputes, he does know how to gaze into his crystal ball and foresee that which is “unforseeable”, and says it will be the Grenades who take home braggin’ rights come Sunday evening.

Wizard’s Winner…the Grenades.

Wizards vs. Power Sleds

The “conspiracy that shall remain nameless” officially peaked last Sunday when Merlin and his defending BDFL champion “Dixie Pixies” formally dropped out of title contention with their 8th loss in what has been a truly tepid title defense. Starting with the still talked about “Kick-Off Cash / The Birmingham News” scandals of the late 80’s and culminating more recently with the equally egregious 2007 BDFL draft day dodge that saw the Commish unilaterally decide to drop the Wizards to the bottom of the draft and not allow them to draft a single player, it’s clear the conspiracy still lives. Nevertheless, the Wizards have swapped their title defending role for a newfound spoiler one, and will see if they fare any better with the latter when they face Jack Barnes and the “Dolodome Dragsters” Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately for Jack, the Sleds will find out the Wizards will readily take to their new role while seeing their championship dreams dashed as well as proof positive.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.    

Dogs vs. Bootleggers

Although Jon Wood and the “Big City Boot Strappers” have traded their backwoods home in the Tennessee hills for more palatial digs in Ohio, they still have their big, black Johnson County Sheriff’s Dodge to remind them of home. Of course, if that doesn’t work the boots that have been broken off in their backsides on a regular basis this season should be ample reminder of their roots. Sunday afternoon the Bootleggers will welcome Mark Burr and the “Mangy Mutts” to town in hopes of salvaging something before seasons end, and given the performance of each team to date this might be the Bootlegger’s last best chance before the big, black Dodge goes up on blocks (in the front yard of course) for the winter. The Dogs have been simply horrible this season and only have the equally horrible Wizards to keep them company in the BDFL cellar. The Great Wizardo doesn’t see that relationship changing for the better anytime soon, but does see the Dogs leaving town in their familiar tail-tucked position with the erstwhile boot stuck in their posteriors for good measure.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bootleggers.

Sloth Monsters vs. Wildcats

Mike Dismukes and the “Tremblin’ Gremlins” have doggedly hung on to the top spot in the Green Horn Division the last several weeks, but more importantly scored a huge vict'ry last weekend versus the Mayors to keep them hovering at the “Bullet Line” with a scant three weeks to go before the fight to determine BDFL dominance begins in earnest. However, the Sloths face their sternest test of the year when they battle Jerry James and the menacing “James’ Gang” that has held up, robbed, and otherwise terrorized the BDFL all season. While the Wildcats are getting fitted for their tux for the Big Dance, the Sloth Monsters are simply trying to make sure they qualify to get an invitation. While a vict'ry over the Cats would be a real statement for Mukes, it would be even more important in keeping them bowl eligible. Unfortunately for Mukes, the Sloths thinking they will find plenty of Rocky Mountain refreshment in Rocky Ridge will prove a fatal fallacy by Sunday evening.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.

Cheetahs vs. Bullets

As far as the Great Wizardo can tell, the Bullets have used large amounts of baling wire, bubble gum, a hundred pounds of yeast, and a healthy supply of copper line, which they borrowed from their grandfathers on their twice a year trip to town, to hold together a most improbable run to the play-offs. As attested to in a duly noted affidavit, only the Great Wizardo foresaw this most unlikely series of events occurring. While winning their division may not be a real possibility, gaining entrance to the championship series is definitely alive and kicking for the “Shag King Confederates.” Meanwhile, the “North Shelby Sin Wagon” is still very much in the hunt as well after a big win in Week 11 kept their hopes of a 3rd title alive though they are on life support at best. Nevertheless, the Cheetahs’ “Sin Wagon” has received more than a few jolts on a rocky ride through the BDFL in ’07 and needs as much smooth sailing ahead as possible to keep hope alive. Although the Bullets plan to ride the visitors hard before putting them up wet, giving the Cheetahs a long, hard ride is akin to throwing Brer’ Rabbit in the Briar Patch.

Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.   

Juggernauts vs. Woosiers

A beat down last weekend from the Cheetahs all but ended Tommy Todd’s “Toke Rise Terrors” chances at bagging another BDFL title for their trophy case. Despite predictions that his team was built for a championship run versus early season success, hindsight would seem to indicate the Woosiers were no better built for a title run on the back stretch of the schedule either. In contrast, Allyson Edwards has all but sewn up her first trip to the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS)despite a hard fought loss last weekend. Although a division title may not be in the offing for the “Tojo Jarheads”, the more elusive big prize is still in play. Just getting to Smoke Rise is something of an odyssey, and the Nauts had better be sure to pack their Sunday best if they have any visions of not getting fleeced by the home team when the collection plates get passed around. Nevertheless, expect the Woosiers to continue passing the plate and picking the pockets of the parishioners until they get enough cash to pull out the vict'ry, or at least sneak in the back door to cover the spread.

Wizard’s Winner…the Woosiers.

Mayors vs. Fighting Slovaks

The Great Wizardo is not sure he, or anyone else for that matter, is ready to live in a world where the “Urinating Euro Trash” reign supreme. Nevertheless, that may well be the case if Adam Slovensky continues his red hot ride to the front of the BDFL peckin order. All of this in spite of persistent rumors of the Slovaks trying to strike illicit back room deals to pick up key players for their stretch run. While this behavior could certainly stain a league’s reputation, the BDFL is so well known for corruption, especially when family is involved, that these rumors swirling around the Slovak’s shameful dealings hardly seems more serious than jaywalking. Although one could expect some serious home cookin’ from the BDFL Commish for his cuz, the Great Wizardo is not so sure the Commish is even ready to acknowledge, publicly at least, any kinship with the Slovenskys. And that hesitation, however brief, will be the key to sinking the Slovaks on Sunday.

Wizard’s Winner…the Mayors.

Wizard's Quote

of the Week

"The Great Wizardo doesn’t see that relationship changing for the better anytime soon, but does see the Dogs leaving town in their familiar tail-tucked position with the erstwhile boot stuck in the posteriors for good measure"

Wizard's Quote

of the Week II

"As far as the Great Wizardo can tell, the Bullets have used large amounts of baling wire, bubble gum, a hundred pounds of yeast, and a healthy supply of copper line, which they borrowed from their grandfathers on their twice a year trip to town, to hold together a most improbable run to the play-offs"

2007 Wisdom

2006 Wisdom

Past Wisdom

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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